Reviews from

Littoral

Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Polhena Beach, Sri Lanka, 0600."
Poems about the coastline

23 total reviews 
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Pantygynt, I enjoyed reading this well written and interesting poem. I particularly enjoyed looking at the attached picture. It reminded me of when I visited Sri Lanka back in the early '90s. Thanks for bringing back some fond memories. ~DD

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2017
    Thank you for this review. You saw it before the tsunami struck in 2004. Although my visit was five years later there was still a lot of evidence of the damage. Thre island was slow to recover and tourism was badly hit.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Loved your "Symmetrina", Jim.
Exceptional rhythm throughout, although each line of each individual stanza varies greatly in length.
That's not an easy thing to accomplish as I'm sure you well know.
How those fellas balance on those thin poles and catch fish is beyond me.
It looks extremely uncomfortable.
Besides, there have been times when I've fought with a fish such as large cat fish that would have yanked this Yank right off of those poles!
Exceptionally well done.
I may have to try one of these Symmetrinas myself.
~Dean

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
    Thanks for the review and six stars. That is quite something.. The potlatch this week is a symmetrina if you are interested.
reply by Dean Kuch on 07-Dec-2017
    Anytime, Jim.
    Thanks, I'll check it out.
    ~D
Comment from frierajac
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

If you hadn't witnessed the fishing method, this must be a postcard. It is a lovely creative way of portraying the movement of the tide happening to rise up and recede.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
    Thank you so much for this review and the six exceptional stars.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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A delightful story and I've never heard of these fishermen before and it looks uncomfortable being perched on a pole! But they obviously know what they are doing! A clever way of fishing and the water cleansed all your sins and took away all your troubles, hope your dreams come true as your poem was a sheer pleasure to read, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
    Yes it was a lovely time. My only regret was not actually seeing the fishermen at Work but that only happens when the monsoon whips the surf up. Many thanks for the review.
reply by Dolly'sPoems on 06-Dec-2017
    What a lovely experience to visit Sri Lanka, we are lucky to visit this far away places, love Dolly x
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Excellent
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Hello J. I enjoyed the insight into a place that you love to visit. When I went to Madang, Papua New Guinea, they had fishermen like this and a similar story. Well done and here's to hoping we all get an equal experience like this one day. xoxo deborah

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
    It tends to be a feature of shallow reefs in areas affected by monsoons. The surf conditions make the putting to sea in frail man-powered craft too dangerous. Thanks for your kind review.
Comment from DR DIP
Excellent
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I went surfing in Sri lanka in 1977. It was Christmas and we were on the west coast down toward Galle at a place called Hikkaduwa which has a peaking wave on a reef we called 'amphitheatres'.
Every morning I would arise before everyone else who were still pissed and stoned from the night before and wander down to the surfing spot to be greeted by that exact scene in your accompanying picture. Your wonderful poem brought back great memories of this place.
Thank you for sharing

dip

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
    I have wandered round Galle where the railway from Colombo terminates and I think Hikkaduwa was the place where there was a turtle sanctuary. The area was badly affected by the tsunami and tourism was slow to get under way again . I wonder what it is like these days. Thanks for reading. Good to know we have at least one mutual geographical experience.
reply by DR DIP on 06-Dec-2017
    I was wondering about that. My son is going over with his wife and her family after Christmas for 2 weeks. I think he'll take his surfboard....he is as keen as me.

    dip
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
    When I was there at the end of 2009 they were saying that you couldn't rely on th monsoon season any more -- all part of climate change. Of course that was eight years ago almost to the day so they have had plenty of time to get things running again but that depends on the government and there have been changes since I was there. The friend with whom I stayed much of the time in Colombo is still living there so it must be still acceptable. I hope your son and family enjoy themselves. Tell them to avoid the mixed grill when its on the menu and stick to the fish.
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
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I enjoyed the form of your own devising, with its rhythm and rhymes--it does mimic the rise and fall of waves. Even without the picture, I could imagine the stilt fishermen. Thank you for sharing this method of fishing along with the vivid, beach scenes. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
    I had to use my imagination, not having seen the fishing, just the forest of poles sticking up out of the sea. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
reply by Joan E. on 06-Dec-2017
    Your imagination never fails you and allows us to visualize captivating images. Smiles- Joan
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well done and unique Jim. I like your Symmetrina form. I was impressed with the enjambment as well. Mixed meter is perfect in every verse.
My troubled cares float clear away,
Along with all the ghastly mares of night

I really like those lines That's how I feel when I am around a body of water.
Interesting and educational and the picture is wonderful. Well done. Nancy

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
    I am so pleased you liked this. It is kind of on the edge. I tried a seven line version once but it didn't work. The space between the first and last lines was too great for the rhyme there to take effect. Thank you for the six stars.
Comment from damommy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A new form created by you, and a tourist review of a place that clearly you enjoyed very much.

I did feel the rise and fall of the waves in the poem's rhythm, and noticed your use of alliteration. "Cast line in belief . . . ' is a lovely way of saying they hoped to catch something.

This looks to be a very complicated form, but I like it.

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
    Thank you so much for this amazing six star review,
Comment from Mark Valentine
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What an evocative, versified, travelogue. And a new form to boot! I like it, though I'm trying to think if there's another form where there are three lines in between rhyming lines (I'm sure there must be, right?) - at some point it would seem that the original rhyme would be "lost" to the ear. At any rate, this works for me.

There seem to be two themes here. The poem sheds light on a fascinating practice in a remote (for many of us) part of the world. It also talks about your interaction with the place, and thus adds a personal, psychological, dimension to the poem.

I like that you use the word "perch" (or "perches") in two different senses, neither of which refers to the fish, in a poem, in part, about fishing.


 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
    You are the only person who has caught the perch! I tried to expand this into a five liner in a similar format but the first and last lines were too far apart for the rhyme to work properly.