Chance Encounter
If you saw an old flame, what would you do?13 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
solid use of abab rhyming
good steady use of iambic meter
congratulations on your contest win :-)
lovely descriptive detail and strong emotional appeal Brooke
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
solid use of abab rhyming
good steady use of iambic meter
congratulations on your contest win :-)
lovely descriptive detail and strong emotional appeal Brooke
Comment Written 16-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Thank you, Brooke, for sharing this one and the kudos. Rod
Comment from emrpoems
Congrats on your win.
Excellent abab rhymes
Good use of enjambment
Good use of alliteration.
This is a familiar scene but it turned out quite different for me. We were still in good shape and found out what should have beenLOL
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
Congrats on your win.
Excellent abab rhymes
Good use of enjambment
Good use of alliteration.
This is a familiar scene but it turned out quite different for me. We were still in good shape and found out what should have beenLOL
Comment Written 16-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Thank you for sharing my poem and all the kudos. I am delighted to hear you can relate to the Speaker's experience in a very positive way. Rod
Comment from seaglass
I like this poem. I had a similar experience but soon into the conversation, I realized that fate was wise. We were not meant to be. The poem has smooth rhyme and meter and ends with a meaningful question.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
I like this poem. I had a similar experience but soon into the conversation, I realized that fate was wise. We were not meant to be. The poem has smooth rhyme and meter and ends with a meaningful question.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
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I am delighted you both enjoyed and could relate to my poem. Thank you so much for sharing.
Comment from mjac777
Nicely rhymed a/b/a/b quatrain for the Quatrain Contest entry, mystery author. Excellent rhythm that made this lovely poem a joy to read.
This work was like a breath of much needed fresh air. You set the mood so charmingly.
I love your last line - after recounting the meeting with your old love - you say we all need these moments in our life.
Indeed.
Well done.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
Nicely rhymed a/b/a/b quatrain for the Quatrain Contest entry, mystery author. Excellent rhythm that made this lovely poem a joy to read.
This work was like a breath of much needed fresh air. You set the mood so charmingly.
I love your last line - after recounting the meeting with your old love - you say we all need these moments in our life.
Indeed.
Well done.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
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I am really pleased you found this poem "a joy to read.". This poet could not wish for any greater praise. Thank you so much!
Comment from K. Lorraine
I loved this poetic piece... it did stir my heart strings for my very first teenage crush. The last stanza brought tears to my eyes. You expressed so beautifully the bitter-sweet moments that most all chance encounters brings. And some of them are not what we expected. Thank you for sharing your wonderful talent. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
I loved this poetic piece... it did stir my heart strings for my very first teenage crush. The last stanza brought tears to my eyes. You expressed so beautifully the bitter-sweet moments that most all chance encounters brings. And some of them are not what we expected. Thank you for sharing your wonderful talent. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
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Thank you so much, K. Lorraine, for your lavish praise. I could not be more pleased by your reaction to my poem.
Comment from RYME4U
Beautiful! The rhythm and words are sweet and smooth. You have made a lovely visual picture with your words. The nostalgia here is done perfectly. Great job!
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
Beautiful! The rhythm and words are sweet and smooth. You have made a lovely visual picture with your words. The nostalgia here is done perfectly. Great job!
Comment Written 14-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
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Thank you for your very kind praise. I am delighted the nostalgia worked for you.
Comment from dmt1967
I liked this poem, but the last line doesn't go with the rest of the poem in my opinion. 'Seen' might go better. Good luck in the prompt and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
I liked this poem, but the last line doesn't go with the rest of the poem in my opinion. 'Seen' might go better. Good luck in the prompt and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
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Thank you for sharing my poem and your very close reading and suggestion.
Comment from kiwisteveh
I like that you don't overdo the drama of this - there is no suggestion that the to will get back together or that either is heart-broken - it is subtle in its depiction and more realistic than most romance poems here.
The quatrains rhyming abab are well constructed, the dialogue fits naturally into the verse and the rhyme solid, although my kiwi accent would not rhyme been/then.
shrunk should be shrank I think, although you could claim that's the character's mistake, not yours!
Good luck in the contest - a bit gentle and subtle perhaps to woo the voters, but it deserves to do well.
Steve
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
I like that you don't overdo the drama of this - there is no suggestion that the to will get back together or that either is heart-broken - it is subtle in its depiction and more realistic than most romance poems here.
The quatrains rhyming abab are well constructed, the dialogue fits naturally into the verse and the rhyme solid, although my kiwi accent would not rhyme been/then.
shrunk should be shrank I think, although you could claim that's the character's mistake, not yours!
Good luck in the contest - a bit gentle and subtle perhaps to woo the voters, but it deserves to do well.
Steve
Comment Written 14-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
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Thank you,Steve. You truly seem to understand what I intended to convey here.
"been/then," as you've pointed out, may not be a true rhyme here in America either. And if the speaker were grammatically correct, he would have said "shrank," but I hate that word and I think the speaker might have NERVOUSLY made the mistake. Thanks also for the endorsement.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi,
This is quite thought provoking, inasmuch as one does wonder what would happen should they run into an old love. What if he/she were single, would something happen, or would it remain a bittersweet reunion that goes nowhere?
Nicely penned and presented with complementary artwork.
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*,*)
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
Hi,
This is quite thought provoking, inasmuch as one does wonder what would happen should they run into an old love. What if he/she were single, would something happen, or would it remain a bittersweet reunion that goes nowhere?
Nicely penned and presented with complementary artwork.
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*,*)
Comment Written 14-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
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Thanks, Jax, for sharing my poem and your delightful comments.
Comment from giraffmang
I enjoyed this poem and it felt very true.
A very nice rhythm and flow (at least to my uneducated mind, others are better qualified to comment). I have had a few of this meetings, although as we get older its more difficult to recognise them!
Nice job
Good luck
GMG
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
I enjoyed this poem and it felt very true.
A very nice rhythm and flow (at least to my uneducated mind, others are better qualified to comment). I have had a few of this meetings, although as we get older its more difficult to recognise them!
Nice job
Good luck
GMG
Comment Written 14-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2014
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I am delighted you like the poem and thought it "felt very true.". Thank you for sharing Andyour best wishes.