cinquains
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Veterans Day Prayer"cinquain poetry
102 total reviews
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
Brooke, this is the best Veteran's message I have read yet here. Made the hairs on my arm stand straight up. The wording is incredible...what a picture you have painted caused such a gentle stirring in my heart for those gone. Great job. Hugs and smiles, Susanne
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2009
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Brooke, this is the best Veteran's message I have read yet here. Made the hairs on my arm stand straight up. The wording is incredible...what a picture you have painted caused such a gentle stirring in my heart for those gone. Great job. Hugs and smiles, Susanne
Comment Written 11-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Susanne - so sorry this review got buried and I'm only now replying. Brooke :-)
Comment from Dave M
Brooke,
This is an excellent memorial poem, especially for Armistace Day. I enjoyed reading it and couldn't find anything to criticize.
Dave
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2009
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Brooke,
This is an excellent memorial poem, especially for Armistace Day. I enjoyed reading it and couldn't find anything to criticize.
Dave
Comment Written 11-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Dave - boy, did this review ever get buried! :-) Brooke
Comment from redrider6612
What a touching tribute to soldiers killed in action. Excellent form. Beautiful picture. Love the image of fallen leaves blanketing fallen heroes. Wonderful job, my friend.
Hugs,
Diane
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2009
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What a touching tribute to soldiers killed in action. Excellent form. Beautiful picture. Love the image of fallen leaves blanketing fallen heroes. Wonderful job, my friend.
Hugs,
Diane
Comment Written 11-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Diane - so glad you found meaning in this, and I apologize for such a long-delayed reply :-) Brooke
Comment from Sasha
I am serious when I say this one actually brought tears to my eyes. This is so beautiful and so deeply moving. In my opinion it is the perfect entry for this contest and has already won my vote. Absolutely superb job with this one.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2009
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I am serious when I say this one actually brought tears to my eyes. This is so beautiful and so deeply moving. In my opinion it is the perfect entry for this contest and has already won my vote. Absolutely superb job with this one.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Valerie - I'm so glad you found meaning in this! Brooke :-)
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your heartfelt, perfect cinquain that includes alliteration and rhyme. Your final line is very powerful. I am very glad you and I wrote our salutes; I am sure you as I, have received touching thanks from veterans and others.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2009
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I admired your heartfelt, perfect cinquain that includes alliteration and rhyme. Your final line is very powerful. I am very glad you and I wrote our salutes; I am sure you as I, have received touching thanks from veterans and others.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2009
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thank you, Joan - I'm so pleased you found meaning in this. Brooke :-)
Comment from percival86jack
What a sad day! We give thanks to all those many men and women who died so we could be free. We will never forget.
Cheers, Jack
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2009
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What a sad day! We give thanks to all those many men and women who died so we could be free. We will never forget.
Cheers, Jack
Comment Written 11-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Jack, for your gracious response to this poem. Brooke :-)
Comment from Eternal Muse
A beautiful reflective cinquain, Brooke, with some unique word choices and beautiful rhyming. I very much like the metaphor of falling leaves "wrapping our sons in warmth" to ensure they sleep soundly. The picture is a bit blurry, isn't it? I don't know if the artist intended it this way.
And, congrats on winning the haiku and senryu contests back to back. That is marvellous achievement.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2009
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A beautiful reflective cinquain, Brooke, with some unique word choices and beautiful rhyming. I very much like the metaphor of falling leaves "wrapping our sons in warmth" to ensure they sleep soundly. The picture is a bit blurry, isn't it? I don't know if the artist intended it this way.
And, congrats on winning the haiku and senryu contests back to back. That is marvellous achievement.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2009
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thank you, Yelena - so sorry this reply is terribly delayed - some reviews got buried. Yes, the photo is intentionally blurred, I'm sure. Brooke :-)
Comment from AlvinTEthington
This is a good cinquain. The title works in as part of the poem, there is turn between the fourth and fifth line, and the alliteration works very well.
The comma after the second line is unnecessary; it interrupts the flow of the poem.
This is worth submitting for next Veterans' Day. Superb work.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2009
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This is a good cinquain. The title works in as part of the poem, there is turn between the fourth and fifth line, and the alliteration works very well.
The comma after the second line is unnecessary; it interrupts the flow of the poem.
This is worth submitting for next Veterans' Day. Superb work.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Alvin - the comma is meant to show direct address - the prayer is addressed to the trees as a request to drop the leaves on the graves, so I wanted that slight stop in flow to indicate the second part is a request made to the tall trees :-) Brooke
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With all due respect (and I do respect you immensely), the following line is an indicative statement and the first word, at least to me, does seem like a vocative.
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Al, it's a comma - I would never think the fact you and I disagree over it indicated lack of respect on either of our parts :-)
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I agree.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Wow, very powerful and an innocently sentimental. I really enjoyed it. Once again you are a master at poems and putting such a few words together to mean something so powerful. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2009
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Wow, very powerful and an innocently sentimental. I really enjoyed it. Once again you are a master at poems and putting such a few words together to mean something so powerful. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2009
Thank you, Barbara, and my apologies for the long delayed reply! Brooke :-)
Comment from Blue Danube
adewpearl:
Reading this poem brought on all the sadness in the world.
This is a loving and caring tribute to the fallen service men and women and to their loved ones.
Maybe all their grieving and ours too will bring an end to all wars.
I think poems like "Veteran's Day Prayer" and others of this nature are a good first step. Won't even ask how much longer. There seems to be no clear answer.
Thanks, Brooke.
Blue
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2009
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adewpearl:
Reading this poem brought on all the sadness in the world.
This is a loving and caring tribute to the fallen service men and women and to their loved ones.
Maybe all their grieving and ours too will bring an end to all wars.
I think poems like "Veteran's Day Prayer" and others of this nature are a good first step. Won't even ask how much longer. There seems to be no clear answer.
Thanks, Brooke.
Blue
Comment Written 11-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Blue - I so apologize for this much-delayed reply. Brooke
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Hello Brooke:
No need to apologize.
I still love this poem of yours.
Blue
