(pippin-laden bough)
an autumn haiku87 total reviews
Comment from LauraKatherine
Nice haiku.
One thing I particularly liked in this poem was the appeal to the sense of taste. I don't see that very often in poetry or prose on FS, but it is a powerful one and often overlooked. Ditto with the sense of smell. You've managed to remind me of what cider tastes and smells like, even when the pippins aren't yet spiced. And my mouth is watering in foretaste, wishing I could pluck one off the bough and eat it. Excellent.
I also liked the repetition of the "p" sound: pippin, spiced, spurs, pick. It has a great sound to it, and the "p" words all sound bright and autumn-ish somehow.
I really enjoyed this one. GOod luck in the contest! LK
UPDATE: I reviewed with blinders on, and didn't realize it was you, Brooke! How did I not realize that?! LOL
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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Nice haiku.
One thing I particularly liked in this poem was the appeal to the sense of taste. I don't see that very often in poetry or prose on FS, but it is a powerful one and often overlooked. Ditto with the sense of smell. You've managed to remind me of what cider tastes and smells like, even when the pippins aren't yet spiced. And my mouth is watering in foretaste, wishing I could pluck one off the bough and eat it. Excellent.
I also liked the repetition of the "p" sound: pippin, spiced, spurs, pick. It has a great sound to it, and the "p" words all sound bright and autumn-ish somehow.
I really enjoyed this one. GOod luck in the contest! LK
UPDATE: I reviewed with blinders on, and didn't realize it was you, Brooke! How did I not realize that?! LOL
Comment Written 26-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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Laura, I'm so pleased, even if you didn't recognize the author - I think it is much harder to discern my voice in haiku than in any other style I write in :-) thanks so much. Brooke
Comment from MariJo
I love your latest haiku! I can taste the cold apple cider now! You have the knack to say so much in imagery & words in so few well chosen words. This deserves a six if I had any left. How fortunate to find the perfect photo.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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I love your latest haiku! I can taste the cold apple cider now! You have the knack to say so much in imagery & words in so few well chosen words. This deserves a six if I had any left. How fortunate to find the perfect photo.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Mary Jayne - I so appreciate your generous wish for a six, which may well be as close as I come to a six on a Saturday! LOL Brooke
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from MariJo----You are welcome!
Comment from Jarlsbane
Ahhh anticipation got the best of you and you just had to take a bite... this is great. Better than any ku I have written and you call me an expert in them... seems the student has bested the master... LOL Nice!! -Michael
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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Ahhh anticipation got the best of you and you just had to take a bite... this is great. Better than any ku I have written and you call me an expert in them... seems the student has bested the master...
Comment Written 26-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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Michael, I have not written a haiku in quite a few weeks - figured I'd better try one again lest I forget how LOL Your comments are lovely, but you are far better at this form :-) Brooke
Comment from L.lora
Brooke it is so difficult to write a review for something so brief as haiku, etc. I've been told that a review should never be longer than the object being reviewed..LOL. This is an excellent haiku, true to oriental styling and formation with the last line leaving the reader to ponder...very well done and most enjoyable. Lora
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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Brooke it is so difficult to write a review for something so brief as haiku, etc. I've been told that a review should never be longer than the object being reviewed..LOL. This is an excellent haiku, true to oriental styling and formation with the last line leaving the reader to ponder...very well done and most enjoyable. Lora
Comment Written 26-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Lora - you did an excellent job of writing a review longer than the poem. LOL Brooke
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Yeh, I know and I 've been told that that is a no-no...LOL..
Comment from redrider6612
This was beautifully written, with perfect 5-7-5 haiku form. Should "cider spiced" be hyphenated? Anyway, I really liked this one. The last line was good, giving the motivation for picking the fruit. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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This was beautifully written, with perfect 5-7-5 haiku form. Should "cider spiced" be hyphenated? Anyway, I really liked this one. The last line was good, giving the motivation for picking the fruit. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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no to that hyphenation - I meant it is not yet cider, spiced and mulled, but I couldn't put that comma there :-) Thanks, Diane!! Brooke
Comment from jlsavell
adewpealr, I do not know if you wver rest. Great haiku and no footnotes. Are you running a fever? lol...loved it..conjures up a desire for sweet cider or wine..jlsavell
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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adewpealr, I do not know if you wver rest. Great haiku and no footnotes. Are you running a fever? lol...loved it..conjures up a desire for sweet cider or wine..jlsavell
Comment Written 26-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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Thanks so much - you've started my day off with a chuckle. Sorry for the delayed response - I had a bunch of reviews get buried under newer ones and am just now digging out! :-) Brooke
Comment from Arkine
My grand-parents had apple trees, two red and one green. I remember helping them pick the apples when they were ripe and sometimes getting to eat one. Then she'd take them and make all sorts of stuff, including cider. It was the best. :)
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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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My grand-parents had apple trees, two red and one green. I remember helping them pick the apples when they were ripe and sometimes getting to eat one. Then she'd take them and make all sorts of stuff, including cider. It was the best. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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That was fast!! :-) Thank you, my friend. Brooke
