rondels and rondeaus
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "As Crowds Pass By"rondels and rondeaus
97 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
I was very moved by this beautiful poem. I'm glad you posted it and we get to be touched by it. Your lines, "They have no eyes to see my face, no arms to hold me in embrace," pretty much says it all. I loved it.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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I was very moved by this beautiful poem. I'm glad you posted it and we get to be touched by it. Your lines, "They have no eyes to see my face, no arms to hold me in embrace," pretty much says it all. I loved it.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thank you, MissMerri. I appreciate your warmth and graciousness :-) Brooke
Comment from P1
hey brooke been ages and i see you are still number one and there is nobody even close to catching up. well done and congrats. your poem is wonderful and filled with words that made me think. a pleaure to read you as always. hugs.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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hey brooke been ages and i see you are still number one and there is nobody even close to catching up. well done and congrats. your poem is wonderful and filled with words that made me think. a pleaure to read you as always. hugs.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thank you, Paige - it is really SOOOOO good to have you back -I hope you stick around awhile :-) Brooke
Comment from c_lucas
It is a shame that the elderly become invisible as we hurry through life. This is very well written and the young can learn a lot from the ederly.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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It is a shame that the elderly become invisible as we hurry through life. This is very well written and the young can learn a lot from the ederly.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Charlie, thank you - yes, it is sad that some of the homeless are actually grandparents whose children abandoned them so long ago they don't even know the grandchildren. Brooke
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You're welcome, Brooke. Charlie
Comment from Amicus
Terrific rondeau that presents a strong empathic depiction of the struggling "invisible" self loather among our homeless and downtrodden. These are so often the mentally and or physically ill societal cast offs who needing our love and care evoke only scorn and contempt from their so called "healthy and successful" neighbors.
You use this form so well to make sound social commentary memorable and thought provoking...great job.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Terrific rondeau that presents a strong empathic depiction of the struggling "invisible" self loather among our homeless and downtrodden. These are so often the mentally and or physically ill societal cast offs who needing our love and care evoke only scorn and contempt from their so called "healthy and successful" neighbors.
You use this form so well to make sound social commentary memorable and thought provoking...great job.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thank you for your insightful comments - I can always tell you think about what I have written, which is a terrific compliment :-) Brooke
Comment from Arkine
So here's a story, I may have told before.
When I lived in the city I worked nightshift for a security company. One night I was almost to work, the snow had started to fall. I was parked at a red light when this man suddenly appeared at my window. He was in a wheelchair and crying. His feet, or what was left of them, were wrapped in several layers of socks, that was it. He said his foot hurt so bad he just wanted to die and asked if I could take him to the hospital. I did, I was late to work and got chewed on a little, which my boss later apologized. He said I did the right thing taking that guy to the hospital and I believe I did too. I also don't think many other people would have given him any help. Our society has become so paranoid, so closed that it takes a disaster to get people's asses in gear to help others. It's sad, because none of these people would have to live this way, unless they chose to do so. If people would stop and help.
Great job on this!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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So here's a story, I may have told before.
When I lived in the city I worked nightshift for a security company. One night I was almost to work, the snow had started to fall. I was parked at a red light when this man suddenly appeared at my window. He was in a wheelchair and crying. His feet, or what was left of them, were wrapped in several layers of socks, that was it. He said his foot hurt so bad he just wanted to die and asked if I could take him to the hospital. I did, I was late to work and got chewed on a little, which my boss later apologized. He said I did the right thing taking that guy to the hospital and I believe I did too. I also don't think many other people would have given him any help. Our society has become so paranoid, so closed that it takes a disaster to get people's asses in gear to help others. It's sad, because none of these people would have to live this way, unless they chose to do so. If people would stop and help.
Great job on this!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thank you for sharing this story with me, and yes, even when the person begging for help is in a wheelchair and crying in pain, many people would turn away. This is a tragic commentary on our society. I so appreciate your thoughtful review - were only more people willing to open their hearts. Brooke :-)
Comment from Joan E.
Oooh, I've used Smurphgirls' pictures too to illustrate poverty. (She's also a good storyteller.) I am so glad you were undeterred by the contest rules and simply used the prompt for inspiration. (I finally wrote my first rondeau yesterday--it's "marinating" or I should say "steeping," since it's about tea. Thanks for inspiring me with your examples.) Your poem is powerful and touching, enhanced by the strong rhymes and its rondeau form along with your use of alliteration .
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Oooh, I've used Smurphgirls' pictures too to illustrate poverty. (She's also a good storyteller.) I am so glad you were undeterred by the contest rules and simply used the prompt for inspiration. (I finally wrote my first rondeau yesterday--it's "marinating" or I should say "steeping," since it's about tea. Thanks for inspiring me with your examples.) Your poem is powerful and touching, enhanced by the strong rhymes and its rondeau form along with your use of alliteration .
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Joan, I am her biggest fan, especially as a writer. I can't wait to read your rondeau once it is finished marinating!
Thank you, my friend :-) Brooke
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Yeah, I can't wait to read how she resolves her serial killer story.
Thanks for the encouragement as well.
Hugs-
Joan
Comment from babylonia
brooke,
they never know when it will be their turn and then they will know the truth. it can happen to any of us at any time in our lives. this is a fact. nothing is permanent and everything is change. imagery is excellent.
good luck~
love,
barbara
i didn't even see this contest.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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brooke,
they never know when it will be their turn and then they will know the truth. it can happen to any of us at any time in our lives. this is a fact. nothing is permanent and everything is change. imagery is excellent.
good luck~
love,
barbara
i didn't even see this contest.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Barbara, thank you. Your comments are most insightful. Brooke :-)
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brooke,
you are very welcome~
love,
barbara
Comment from sgalletti
Oh, Brooke - this poem almost brought me to tears. If only we could provide more joy to the lives of these poor lonely souls. PS: I am working on a rondeau. Will let you know when I get it to where I want it to be....And, thanks again for your inspiration and great examples. Sue
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Oh, Brooke - this poem almost brought me to tears. If only we could provide more joy to the lives of these poor lonely souls. PS: I am working on a rondeau. Will let you know when I get it to where I want it to be....And, thanks again for your inspiration and great examples. Sue
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Sue, thank you. I can't wait to read your rondeau - I have another friend on site who has also just written her first one but has not yet posted it. This is so exciting :-) Thank you for your most thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from Sasha
This is deeply moving and send a loud clear message. We as a society are so judgmental and I find that so sad. When I took this photograph it was the first time I saw this woman at peace. I haven't seen her for a while and worry that something may have happened to her. Thanks for sharing your marvelous poem.
Definitely not of your quality but I posted a poem on a 'dare'...caled Take Me Back Please. Let me know what your think.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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This is deeply moving and send a loud clear message. We as a society are so judgmental and I find that so sad. When I took this photograph it was the first time I saw this woman at peace. I haven't seen her for a while and worry that something may have happened to her. Thanks for sharing your marvelous poem.
Definitely not of your quality but I posted a poem on a 'dare'...caled Take Me Back Please. Let me know what your think.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Valerie, first of all, let me thank you for the moving photo of yours that I used. I always worry when I stop seeing a regular at the shelter - I appreciate your most thoughtful review. I will go read your poem now! Brooke :-)
Comment from rmdelta
Brooke,
very strong descriptives provide excellent imagery when also viewing the photo. Great piece of writing, my friend.
Reggie
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Brooke,
very strong descriptives provide excellent imagery when also viewing the photo. Great piece of writing, my friend.
Reggie
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thanks, Reggie - I always appreciate your thoughtfulness :-) Brooke
