Free Verse Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Dancers"A collection of free verse poems
92 total reviews
Comment from Caressa_08
Am wondering if your daughter is a missionary...This is an excellent picture that depicts your poetry that visually flows nicely & very much comes to life on a dusty path that also shows three girls having a fun time.. I enjoyed reading, noticing, too, that there is a bystander & he or she seems to be clapping to the girl's dancing rhythm.
Caressa
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Am wondering if your daughter is a missionary...This is an excellent picture that depicts your poetry that visually flows nicely & very much comes to life on a dusty path that also shows three girls having a fun time.. I enjoyed reading, noticing, too, that there is a bystander & he or she seems to be clapping to the girl's dancing rhythm.
Caressa
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Caressa, and thank you so much for your lovely review. No, my daughter isn't a missionary. She has no interest in changing people, only their circumstances.
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good description that draws a clear image in my mind. Good alliteration with were/walking...their/toes/tapping...then/they...through/the. Good end rhyming with glided/subsided...flutter/utter. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Good description that draws a clear image in my mind. Good alliteration with were/walking...their/toes/tapping...then/they...through/the. Good end rhyming with glided/subsided...flutter/utter. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, RR, and thank you so much for your constructive review.
Comment from Just Pete
As an experimental poem, this works very well. There is an element of song in the words and manner of layout. Read rapidly, the song exists, a little like those old English folk songs. This is really good. It's a curious fact that most if not all cultures have a dance for of some kind.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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As an experimental poem, this works very well. There is an element of song in the words and manner of layout. Read rapidly, the song exists, a little like those old English folk songs. This is really good. It's a curious fact that most if not all cultures have a dance for of some kind.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Pete, and thank you so much for your interesting comments. Yes, dance is an important element of most cultures. However, I can hardly put one foot in front of the other without tripping up!
Comment from amahra
I think ti's great when poems are written for an image. Fun sounding poem with nice rhythm. Thought picture was a painting. It's that good.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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I think ti's great when poems are written for an image. Fun sounding poem with nice rhythm. Thought picture was a painting. It's that good.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Amahra, and thank you so much for your lovely review. Anna will be delighted by your response to her picture!
Comment from livelylinda
Tony: this reader thinks that your poem picked me up from the first stanza and had me twirling and whirling and kicking up dust with these girls. I had no problem reading and almost felt a dance rhythm from what I read. It is delightful and continue to enjoy your daughter's pictures and your words together. Keep warm. livelylinda
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Tony: this reader thinks that your poem picked me up from the first stanza and had me twirling and whirling and kicking up dust with these girls. I had no problem reading and almost felt a dance rhythm from what I read. It is delightful and continue to enjoy your daughter's pictures and your words together. Keep warm. livelylinda
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Linda, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Linda, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from 24chas
This was really a beautiful write, tfawcus. I love the way you captured their spirit and love of life with their dance. Great job.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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This was really a beautiful write, tfawcus. I love the way you captured their spirit and love of life with their dance. Great job.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Chas, and thank you so much for your kind review.
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Chas, and thank you so much for your kind review.
Comment from nancyjam
I loved it and enjoyed the rhythm you achieved in your lines...
Wonderful visuals as I read along.
I like the addition of subtle rhyming.
A ver enjoyable piece.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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I loved it and enjoyed the rhythm you achieved in your lines...
Wonderful visuals as I read along.
I like the addition of subtle rhyming.
A ver enjoyable piece.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Nancy, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Nancy, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from GWinterwin
Oh what a great poem with a perfect picture to make it complete. Good word flow and rhyming as you tell of the girls and their dancing. Their young hearts in unison together, laughing and loving life.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Oh what a great poem with a perfect picture to make it complete. Good word flow and rhyming as you tell of the girls and their dancing. Their young hearts in unison together, laughing and loving life.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, GW, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
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So glad you enjoyed this one, GW, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from w.j.debi
You say you follow no particular form and that fits perfectly with an impromptu dance. The elements of rhythm are evident in both but free to revel in the moment and go with the flow. It all comes together so well--the picture, the subject and the theme.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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You say you follow no particular form and that fits perfectly with an impromptu dance. The elements of rhythm are evident in both but free to revel in the moment and go with the flow. It all comes together so well--the picture, the subject and the theme.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, WJD, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
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So glad you enjoyed this one, WJD, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from paulah60
A delightful poem, Tony. More power to you for not adhering to any specific format. So much in culture is a synthesis of different styles these days, so why not poetic forms?! Your decision to avoid punctuation is inspired; it would only disrupt the movement of the "dancing" words (I was going to say the "flow" of the dancing words, but your use of 'stutter' conveys more of a staccato rhythm, which reinforces the idea of a blend of styles). Might be interesting to further support this by putting the words on separate lines, i.e
'In the utter
joyful
stutter
Of their dance'
(just me playing around! May not work for you)
Love the last stanza:
A taste of the hereafter
The gods have surely given
To those who dance together
In the dust
Excellent work.
Cheers
Paula
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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A delightful poem, Tony. More power to you for not adhering to any specific format. So much in culture is a synthesis of different styles these days, so why not poetic forms?! Your decision to avoid punctuation is inspired; it would only disrupt the movement of the "dancing" words (I was going to say the "flow" of the dancing words, but your use of 'stutter' conveys more of a staccato rhythm, which reinforces the idea of a blend of styles). Might be interesting to further support this by putting the words on separate lines, i.e
'In the utter
joyful
stutter
Of their dance'
(just me playing around! May not work for you)
Love the last stanza:
A taste of the hereafter
The gods have surely given
To those who dance together
In the dust
Excellent work.
Cheers
Paula
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Paula! That is a great suggestion. I started to feel locked in to the four line stanzas but it's a good point at which to break out of the straightjacket.
