Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Part three Chapter four"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
75 total reviews
Comment from Deejharrington
A positive prayer for your healing and for having your boy home with you.
The chapter was terrific. As sometimes happens in these cases, the women have trouble trusting anyone. But someone must have helped .Anna and her boy to leave the hospital. I doubt she was in any condition to do it all by herself. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Blessed be.
deb
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
  |
A positive prayer for your healing and for having your boy home with you.
The chapter was terrific. As sometimes happens in these cases, the women have trouble trusting anyone. But someone must have helped .Anna and her boy to leave the hospital. I doubt she was in any condition to do it all by herself. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Blessed be.
deb
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
It's good to hear things are going well with you - my friend
----------------------------------
A good chapter, moving the story on.... the conversation
flowing naturally.
She didn't file for divorce yet- might you consider...
She hasn't filed for divorce yet
hands in his pants' pocket(s).
Margaret
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
|
It's good to hear things are going well with you - my friend
----------------------------------
A good chapter, moving the story on.... the conversation
flowing naturally.
She didn't file for divorce yet- might you consider...
She hasn't filed for divorce yet
hands in his pants' pocket(s).
Margaret
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
-
Thank you for catching those errors. I hate making first grade mistakes.
-
I make them all the time... silly little things that don't pick up on the spell check. M
Comment from Fleedleflump
You have a gift for naturalistic dialogue, and it carries this segment brilliantly without the need for excessive description. I only noticed a couple of nits:
The italics are presumably meant to come off after the sentence:
"Maybe Anna's having some x-rays or some kind of tests." - but said italics actually go through the entire post.
"The nurse gasp, "What?" She stood" - gasp needs to be gasped
Other than that, it all looks grand!
Mike
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
|
You have a gift for naturalistic dialogue, and it carries this segment brilliantly without the need for excessive description. I only noticed a couple of nits:
The italics are presumably meant to come off after the sentence:
"Maybe Anna's having some x-rays or some kind of tests." - but said italics actually go through the entire post.
"The nurse gasp, "What?" She stood" - gasp needs to be gasped
Other than that, it all looks grand!
Mike
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
-
Thank you for catching those. I hate making first grader mistakes.
Comment from Gungalo
Girl, this story continues with a flair and big trouble coming. I think she plain ol' got scared and left with the woman who came to talk to her. I hope and pray she and the baby are safe!!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
|
Girl, this story continues with a flair and big trouble coming. I think she plain ol' got scared and left with the woman who came to talk to her. I hope and pray she and the baby are safe!!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review and support.
-
Sigh I can't wait to see where she has gone!!!!
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written as a set up chapter. You did a good job of exploring Paul's and Troy's relationship. This has good imagery and descriptive scheme.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
|
This is very well written as a set up chapter. You did a good job of exploring Paul's and Troy's relationship. This has good imagery and descriptive scheme.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
-
You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie
