Every Five Seconds
a poem about God's children97 total reviews
Comment from mstad55
It's not that no one cares or hears the cries, this generation is about, "me", "what's in it for me" It's not about what can I do to help other's in need, it's about what can others do to provide for my needs? And, "Make me feel good, make me pretty, make me rich." And then there is the dumbing of America, "Jessica Simpson has gained weight, O.J. Simpson stole his own property, for that he gets's jail, but not for murder." We are pre-occupied with the trivial pursuit of nonsense that the starving homeless in every neighborhood across the country go un-noticed. But find them outside of a new ball park asking for charity, and they will not only be noticed they will be hauled away in a police car, so that they don't disturb the folks that paid 40 to 100 dollars a seat. We wouldn't want them to be upset by seeing how the underprivileged live. Furthermore, we wouldn't want the ambiance of the neighborhood to be marred by people living in cardboard boxes under a bridge, near the parking lot of these multi-million dollar palaces with the stars making more money than the revenue of the city in which they play. And of those only a few remember the neighborhoods in which they grew up and give back to the community. I didn't understand all the mumbo jumbo of the syllable count. Mike
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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It's not that no one cares or hears the cries, this generation is about, "me", "what's in it for me" It's not about what can I do to help other's in need, it's about what can others do to provide for my needs? And, "Make me feel good, make me pretty, make me rich." And then there is the dumbing of America, "Jessica Simpson has gained weight, O.J. Simpson stole his own property, for that he gets's jail, but not for murder." We are pre-occupied with the trivial pursuit of nonsense that the starving homeless in every neighborhood across the country go un-noticed. But find them outside of a new ball park asking for charity, and they will not only be noticed they will be hauled away in a police car, so that they don't disturb the folks that paid 40 to 100 dollars a seat. We wouldn't want them to be upset by seeing how the underprivileged live. Furthermore, we wouldn't want the ambiance of the neighborhood to be marred by people living in cardboard boxes under a bridge, near the parking lot of these multi-million dollar palaces with the stars making more money than the revenue of the city in which they play. And of those only a few remember the neighborhoods in which they grew up and give back to the community. I didn't understand all the mumbo jumbo of the syllable count. Mike
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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I went one night with a group called Midnight Run in Manhattan to distribute food and supplies to the homeless who live in little villages of cardboard boxes set up each night after dark. One village was on the sidewalk of a huge church that allowed them to camp there - right across the street from a luxury hotel - we watched people in evening gowns getting out of limos and trying not to look across the street at the homeless. The hotel had unsuccessfully fought to force the church to get rid of their nightly campers. Your most thoughtful response is most welcome. The mumbo jumbo just says this style has to have a total of 20 to 25 syllables in the poem - who knows why! Brooke
Comment from LauraKatherine
This poem made my heart pound, Brooke. The naani format works beautifully here, since you are discussing the relationship between the hungry and dying, and the well-fed and oblivious.
Very convicting in its succinct expression of this tragedy. We take those five seconds that it took to read the first line for granted, and yet by the end of the line, another child has died. Another life is gone. Another mother crying. Another father angry. Another coffin to be filled.
And I have to wonder: how many children have died in the time that it took me to write this review?
Well done.
Laura
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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This poem made my heart pound, Brooke. The naani format works beautifully here, since you are discussing the relationship between the hungry and dying, and the well-fed and oblivious.
Very convicting in its succinct expression of this tragedy. We take those five seconds that it took to read the first line for granted, and yet by the end of the line, another child has died. Another life is gone. Another mother crying. Another father angry. Another coffin to be filled.
And I have to wonder: how many children have died in the time that it took me to write this review?
Well done.
Laura
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Laura, Thank you so much for your most generous rating and for your thoughtful comments - I always appreciate that you let me know just how much you truly have thought about what I have written. Brooke
Comment from redrider6612
I'm assuming a naani doesn't have to rhyme, and yet your 2nd and 4th line do. Hehe, I suspect you just can't help yourself. Anyway, I really liked this. A deep message told with an economy of words, tight and eloquent, beautifully crafted. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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I'm assuming a naani doesn't have to rhyme, and yet your 2nd and 4th line do. Hehe, I suspect you just can't help yourself. Anyway, I really liked this. A deep message told with an economy of words, tight and eloquent, beautifully crafted. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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You're right - I can't help myself! LOL Thanks, Brooke
Comment from Amfunny
Very, very good poem (as usual). This gives a strong message in just a few short lines. Very well written and thought provoking. Nicely done. Good luck.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Very, very good poem (as usual). This gives a strong message in just a few short lines. Very well written and thought provoking. Nicely done. Good luck.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Thank you for another warm and kind review, Brooke
Comment from sara-beth
Great use of the naani, this is definitely a one and all kind of poem. It's a very important message that you've reminded us of. Great job!!
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Great use of the naani, this is definitely a one and all kind of poem. It's a very important message that you've reminded us of. Great job!!
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Sara-beth, I truly appreciate your kind response. Brooke
Comment from EllieKaye
Powerful poem, here Brooke.
Such a sad truth, and so well stated. You give the reality a needed punch. 4 per reading? Ah! that is heartbreaking!
: ) Ellie
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Powerful poem, here Brooke.
Such a sad truth, and so well stated. You give the reality a needed punch. 4 per reading? Ah! that is heartbreaking!
: ) Ellie
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Ellie, thank you for your most thoughtful response, Brooke
Comment from Just2Write
Brooke, this Naani is so sad. The words are full with sorrow, but the saddest part is that they are true. You have shone a light on the darkness of hunger and poverty. Bless you for making us see that which we do not hear.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Brooke, this Naani is so sad. The words are full with sorrow, but the saddest part is that they are true. You have shone a light on the darkness of hunger and poverty. Bless you for making us see that which we do not hear.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Rose, thank you for your most kind comments, Brooke
Comment from jaeladarling
I did a speech on world hunger for my speech class last spring. This is one statistic I pointed out, that so many children die from hunger in a certain amount of time. It is so sad that a preventable thing takes place every day. I hope people that read your wonderfully written poem will stop and think about helping those in need, if they don't already. Thanks for sharing this with us!
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2009
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I did a speech on world hunger for my speech class last spring. This is one statistic I pointed out, that so many children die from hunger in a certain amount of time. It is so sad that a preventable thing takes place every day. I hope people that read your wonderfully written poem will stop and think about helping those in need, if they don't already. Thanks for sharing this with us!
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2009
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You're so right about its being preventable! Thank you for your most thoughtful response. Brooke :-)
Comment from prodigal
I often see those "Feed the children" messages on TV. It is so sad that they have so little. They can be helped for so little. This was a warm and effective poem. Well done. - Sam
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2009
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I often see those "Feed the children" messages on TV. It is so sad that they have so little. They can be helped for so little. This was a warm and effective poem. Well done. - Sam
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2009
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Sam, my daughter has adopted a little girl in Zambia through one of those programs - and you're right - she makes such a difference in this child's life for $25 a month. Thank you, Brooke
Comment from amada
This is a very poignant and sad theme that is happening right before our eyes. More than ever people need to be caring of each other.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2009
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This is a very poignant and sad theme that is happening right before our eyes. More than ever people need to be caring of each other.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2009
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thank you for this most thoughtful response, Brooke
