Comment from Khamelink

Excellent

I thought this poem perfectly describes that that are haunted by their war experiences. I have family and friends that suffer through this same problem. It's hard on the family as well. The only thing that I would do differently is not change the coloring so much. I think two colors is fine but three is a little distracting. Great job!

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2016

Thanks so much for your review. I appreciate your comments. It is hard to watch someone that is suffering.

Comment from Cry the Vile Rebel

Exceptional

Well, that was a poignant read. That sixth star is for being the type of person who loves in spite of imperfections, and who can recognize heroism on and off the battlefield... And on the literary front, it's for being able to capture some of the hell we condemn our young men to deal with far past their years of service. Thank you. CtVR

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2016

Thanks so much for honoring this with a high rating and for your insightful comments. It means a lot.
God bless,
Karen

Comment from janalma

Excellent

This brought tears to my eyes. Poor guys. I know my dad had a friend who was in a foxhole in WW2 when his friend had his head blown off. He never got over it and all the other stuff. Very sad and articulate poem that details the suffering they go thru. As you say, they survive, but their life is not the same.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2016

Thank you for reviewing and for sharing your dad's story. It just reaffirms the nightmares that many soldiers have to witness. It was emotional for me to write so it means a lot that you were touched by it.
God bless.

Comment from jmdg1954

Exceptional

The draft was abolished as I entered my senior year of HS. I never went to war. I would have.
I have the utmost respect for those in the military for so many reasons. I salute your brother!!!

John

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2016

Thanks, John, for honoring this story with a high review. I'm so glad you didn't have to go and I hope we never have the draft again.
Not to sound cliche but I find myself questioning "War, what is it good for?"
God bless you,
Karen

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Karen

= Wow! This was so spot on.
= So sorry you brother still fights demons.
= My brother's son went off the deep end. He's never been the same.
= Sadly, he actually told the police my brother was a spy.
= Of course, when they talked to my brother, and interviewed Jordan a lot more, they realized what was happening. Found out he was medically discharged from the Army. He's just lost and out there--lost.
= I hope your brother has fared much better.
= I wish I had a sixer left. Hope you win. (*<*)

=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =:=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)

=::= Feel free to visit my profile on Amazon.com =::=
amazon.com/author/jacquelinefranklin

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2016

Thanks, my friend. My brother has good days but goes on binges for days at a time...he is only 68 but looks much older and can hardly get around. These Veterans deserve more than what we give them when they come home.
Lya!

Comment from lightink

Excellent

This is an exceptional poem about PTSD!
I wish I had a six left for you!

The yellow flashbacks and memories
with the black present - trying to cope... but can't....
Totally out of control!
Beautifully worded with great scattered rhymes!

Some of my favorites:
"red-crusted mem'ries"
"shoots another shot of whiskey".
"as he slowly drowns his demons"

And then the best lines I ever read about flashbacks:
"'cause the movie starts showing--
bombs are blowing--
bullets flying--
bodies dying--
all around--
in stereo sound."

Incredible writing, my dear!

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Jyoti...your encouraging words are as good as a six to me!
Hugs,
Karen

Comment from Oatmeal

Excellent

boxergirl,

You did a wonderful job with this challenge. I enjoyed this poem very much.The flow was very nice. Your feelings are expressed well. Your arrangement looks very nice. The theme was good. The artwork complemented your poem.

There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2016

Thanks, Camille. I appreciate your review and kind comments.
God bless!
Karen

Comment from Liberty Justice

Excellent

Whoa this powerful story in a poem. It's so dramatic and earthshaling. Poet describes war and demons on.dramatic details with damn those demons as refrain.liberty justice

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Liberty.
Your review and kind comments mean so much!
God bless.

reply by Liberty Justice on 29-Apr-2016

Check out my recent
poems also. Good
luck in contest today!

reply by Liberty Justice on 30-Apr-2016

Check me out today.
Good luck contest
today tomorrow.
liberty justice

Comment from foxangie123

Excellent

You just took this contest by storm and are in first place in my opinion. It is so perfectly perfected perfect penning poetry my friend.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, my friend. I appreciate your glowing review!
God bless.

Comment from Wabigoon

Excellent

Boxer--
I like your poem except for the fact that you're not in it. I do not see you wrestling with the terrible demons that these...kids, these kids come home with. The things that they have seen, had to deal with. The demons that have nothing to do with their personal faults, rather with those who send them to these horrific places. Young, without preparation, psychological at least, that they will, yes, contact the Dark Side of humanity. We send them off bright and beautiful to get nuked by darkness so awful it is incomprehensible. As an ex-coach I expect more from you. I expect you to be there with the whiskey feeling this demon. Instead, I feel, you take a more comfortable stance. I'd like to see more. The intensity of a coach, not an observer.

Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2016

Thanks for reviewing Jeff...sorry you were disappointed. I see what you're saying but this poem was not about me but about my brother, so I did my best to show his suffering from outside looking in. God bless.

reply by Wabigoon on 30-Apr-2016

Boxer--
I would not have guessed it was your brother which is what I mean. Would not have guessed you were anywhere near so close. Sorry for the demons. Have him read Taylor Stevens's The Informationist. Main character deals with very real demons. Stevens's personal story is one of extraordinary triumph over extreme demons.

Thanks
Jeff

reply by the author on 30-Apr-2016

Thanks, Jeff...I will check his book out!

reply by the author on 30-Apr-2016

Thanks, Jeff...I will check his book out!

reply by Wabigoon on 30-Apr-2016

Boxer--
Taylor Stevens is a she, a woman. Check out her site. She's sold the rights to this whole series of thrillers involving this female protagonist who has the sort of demons I think are chewing at your brother to James Cameron, director of Titanic. One of the things she says is she was in a situation where she did not get beyond the sixth grade, still doesn't know grammar -- had huge editing help -- encouraging!

Jeff

reply by the author on 30-Apr-2016

Wow...definitely going to check it out! Thanks so much!