tangerine robe kneels
A riddle.66 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
stunning presentation of your poem
I agree with your author notes though I don't know the particular poem you refer to - I am a huge fan of the economy of words which is a hallmark of poetry
powerful visuals
strong emotional as well as sensory appeal
The second I read this my mind returns to those horrible photos and that tragic moment and I do feel the chills all over again
Brooke
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2015
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stunning presentation of your poem
I agree with your author notes though I don't know the particular poem you refer to - I am a huge fan of the economy of words which is a hallmark of poetry
powerful visuals
strong emotional as well as sensory appeal
The second I read this my mind returns to those horrible photos and that tragic moment and I do feel the chills all over again
Brooke
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2015
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Thank you very much, adewpearl, for your kind review.
The horror. The horror of those tragic moments. Researching this poem challenged me because I wanted the know the color and the garment that the beheaded wore. I carefully surfed the internet so as to not see the actual moment of the beheading or its aftermath. What I am left with is that split second moment when the tangerine robed hostage kneels on the ground and stares into the camera for the last time. It pains me to look into their eyes so I look away and focus on their robes.
One reviewer noted that my poem by focusing upon the robe kneeling evokes a headless robe, which is prophetic, because it soon will be. The reviewer said that beheading is the ultimate form of depersonalization.
Because reviews keep trickling in even after the certificate expired on this poem, I am going to post it within the top twelve this weekend for four days. I wish I did not have to write this poem, but the issue and those haunting images will not go away. Thank you very much for your kind review.
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Thank you very much, adewpearl, for your kind review.
The horror. The horror of those tragic moments. Researching this poem challenged me because I wanted the know the color and the garment that the beheaded wore. I carefully surfed the internet so as to not see the actual moment of the beheading or its aftermath. What I am left with is that split second moment when the tangerine robed hostage kneels on the ground and stares into the camera for the last time. It pains me to look into their eyes so I look away and focus on their robes.
One reviewer noted that my poem by focusing upon the robe kneeling evokes a headless robe, which is prophetic, because it soon will be. The reviewer said that beheading is the ultimate form of depersonalization.
Because reviews keep trickling in even after the certificate expired on this poem, I am going to post it within the top twelve this weekend for four days. I wish I did not have to write this poem, but the issue and those haunting images will not go away. Thank you very much for your kind review.
Comment from Curly Girly
Oh, this is so sad. I regret to say that your poem is exactly right. I was sitting in my living room when I saw one of these awful events. It took me by surprise, and I froze, wide-eyed to my chair. I was sickened and sad. As a mother who loves her sons, I can imagine the anguish of the poor parents who had to watch that... words fail me. 'Vengeance is mine,' sayeth the Lord. God will get them.
And, I don't think these events should be aired on TV. It is disrespectful to the victim's families.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2015
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Oh, this is so sad. I regret to say that your poem is exactly right. I was sitting in my living room when I saw one of these awful events. It took me by surprise, and I froze, wide-eyed to my chair. I was sickened and sad. As a mother who loves her sons, I can imagine the anguish of the poor parents who had to watch that... words fail me. 'Vengeance is mine,' sayeth the Lord. God will get them.
And, I don't think these events should be aired on TV. It is disrespectful to the victim's families.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Curly Girly, for your review.
This is just horrible. This is just horrible. Week after week people kneel before video cameras to be beheaded. That tangerine color is the new color of death. I had to be extremely careful when I conducted online research on these executions. I did not want to see the beheading itself or the aftermath. Instead, I stared in the eyes of hostages seconds before they are beheaded. The horror. The horror. I hope my poem conveys the horror. Thank you for your review.
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Thank you, Curly Girly, for your review.
This is just horrible. This is just horrible. Week after week people kneel before video cameras to be beheaded. That tangerine color is the new color of death. I had to be extremely careful when I conducted online research on these executions. I did not want to see the beheading itself or the aftermath. Instead, I stared in the eyes of hostages seconds before they are beheaded. The horror. The horror. I hope my poem conveys the horror. Thank you for your review.
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Agreed. It is pure horror.
Comment from Joan E.
Welcome to FanStory, fellow Californian--I hope the site fulfills your goals for membership. I admired your concise rendering of your social commentary in this 5-7-5 form. The "tangerine robes" are a vivid image echoed by the ensemble. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2015
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Welcome to FanStory, fellow Californian--I hope the site fulfills your goals for membership. I admired your concise rendering of your social commentary in this 5-7-5 form. The "tangerine robes" are a vivid image echoed by the ensemble. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 17-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Joan, for your kind review. Yes, FanStory fulfilled and exceeded my goals. I received my first All Time Best recognition this morning for my poem "Fukushima," I am preparing to repost "tangerine robe kneels," and submit a story to another contest. I am also rehearsing for live performances of my stories and poetry throughout the San Francisco Bay Area. FanStory is the single thing that impact me the greatest this year. Thank you for the encouragement.
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I am delighted that FanStory has stimulated your creative juices and you also are performing your stories and poetry in the Bay Area. Break a leg! Many cheers- Joan
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Thank you, Joan, for making possible the success of my haiku "tangerine robe kneels." Your words expressed what people were unable to express. Reviews are flooding in and people discuss your remarks on the depersonalization of the beheadings. Thank you once again.
Andre
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Many thanks for the feedback--I'm glad I was on the same wavelength. I am pleased your 5-7-5 is generating the response it deserves. Kudos- Joan
Comment from Cat of Letters
Excellent.
It is difficult to know how to review these short poems.
I do feel you have accomplished your stated aim to give a snapshot of this horror.
The picture is perfect.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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Excellent.
It is difficult to know how to review these short poems.
I do feel you have accomplished your stated aim to give a snapshot of this horror.
The picture is perfect.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2015
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Thank you, Cat of Letters. I am rehearsing poems now in my garage as I write. Yes, I gave a snapshot of horror. I love the picture, too. Thanks.
Comment from Debbie Noland
You do some neat things with this. To say that the "robe" kneels has the effect of depersonalizing the victim. Beheading is literally the ultimate act of depersonalizing.
The assonance--especially in the second line--is well done. And the fact that palpable fear can stretch from a specific desert site into living rooms worldwide makes a powerful statement on the power of that emotion.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2015
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You do some neat things with this. To say that the "robe" kneels has the effect of depersonalizing the victim. Beheading is literally the ultimate act of depersonalizing.
The assonance--especially in the second line--is well done. And the fact that palpable fear can stretch from a specific desert site into living rooms worldwide makes a powerful statement on the power of that emotion.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2015
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Debbie, thank you for your kind review. I conveyed in as few words as possible the horror of the beheadings and the fear that stretches from the desert to our living rooms. This is one of the most difficult poems I wrote because I studied the pictures of the hostages moments before they are beheaded. Thank you for acknowledging my craft to express such horrific events.
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Debbie, thank you for your kind review. I conveyed in as few words as possible the horror of the beheadings and the fear that stretches from the desert to our living rooms. This is one of the most difficult poems I wrote because I studied the pictures of the hostages moments before they are beheaded. Thank you for acknowledging my craft to express such horrific events.
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Debbie, I am preparing to promote this poem on Sunday to give it more exposure. Do I have your permission to quote in my author's notes the line from your review, "To say that the "robe" kneels has the effect of depersonalizing the victim. Beheading is literally the ultimate act of depersonalizing."
I wrote this poem intuitively and was unaware what I had achieved until you pointed it out. If I cannot use your quote, I will try to use my own words in the author's notes. Thank you very much for reviewing and analyzing my poem.
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It is fine for you to quote that. I am glad I said something you think worth repeating. It is a profound poem, and I think some of our best lines are, as you say, intuitive."
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Sis Cat, great work mate. I am not generally a fan of these short forms of poetry but when I read one that says as much as this one does in such a short space, I may just become a fan. Well done my friend. Cheers Fez
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reply by the author on 15-Feb-2015
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G'day Sis Cat, great work mate. I am not generally a fan of these short forms of poetry but when I read one that says as much as this one does in such a short space, I may just become a fan. Well done my friend. Cheers Fez
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2015
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Thank you very much for your kind review. I wrote this haiku in response to a poet who wrote too much on the subject. I challenged myself to say as much as I can with the feast amount of worlds. I am glad you enjoyed this.
