I Found a Missing Sunbeam
quatrains in abcb rhyme146 total reviews
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'I Found a Missing Sunbeam' is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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'I Found a Missing Sunbeam' is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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Thanks so much, Duchess :-) Brooke
Brooke, as always you're more than welcome
:-)the Duchess
Comment from kiwisteveh
So, little mister photogenic sunbeam is off to school - what a big day!
This is a very pretty little poem with a lovely surprise ending - it is a love poem after all!
Steve
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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So, little mister photogenic sunbeam is off to school - what a big day!
This is a very pretty little poem with a lovely surprise ending - it is a love poem after all!
Steve
Comment Written 06-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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Steve, thanks so much :-) Yep, he has his very first lunch box all ready. And in case he has any anxieties, his mommy is going to send one of his loveys with him, too :-) Brooke
Comment from lynglyng
I loved this poem. Another great poem that is full of happiness. Enjoy every minute and don't blink. It seems like my little girl was just that age yesterday and now she is in her second year of College. I miss her terribly. Cherish every minute.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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I loved this poem. Another great poem that is full of happiness. Enjoy every minute and don't blink. It seems like my little girl was just that age yesterday and now she is in her second year of College. I miss her terribly. Cherish every minute.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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lynglyng, thank you so much :-) I'm glad you can relate :-) Brooke
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed the close-up of Sawyer and was glad to learn that he enjoyed his vacation, especially since he is starting school so soon. You'll have lots of material from those 12 hours of weekly classes to create many new poems! I enjoyed your personification of the sun and the tale of the sunbeam in these rhymed quatrains. Your final stanza is quite a warmhearted conclusion. Hugs and happy weekend- Joan
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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I enjoyed the close-up of Sawyer and was glad to learn that he enjoyed his vacation, especially since he is starting school so soon. You'll have lots of material from those 12 hours of weekly classes to create many new poems! I enjoyed your personification of the sun and the tale of the sunbeam in these rhymed quatrains. Your final stanza is quite a warmhearted conclusion. Hugs and happy weekend- Joan
Comment Written 06-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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Joan, thanks so much, my friend :-) Miranda went to the orientation at the Sage Academy a few days ago and was even happier with the place than when she first toured it before signing up. :-) Brooke
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I am pleased she found a school that can support Sawyer's inquisitive nature. Cheers- Joan
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She has nannied kids for a couple of very very rich couples where she was appalled by the nursery schools they attended, with old toys, old equipment, not even nice places for "regular" people. For years she has marveled that these schools somehow managed to attract a rich clientele. This school in Encino is pricey enough, believe me, but it isn't where the mega rich are sending their kids. Someone should tell them how much nicer it is than the places they're paying twice as much for. LOL
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Yes, that kind of testimonial would do wonders for their marketing campaign. We found one like it in Sacramento, where Ryan was born. When we had to move to Southern California for Bob's work, we asked everyone we knew where there might be good public schools, and the unanimous response was Santa Monica. It still has an excellent music program, because the parents are involved. Smiles- Joan
Comment from Donya Quijote
Since I'm not around much, I always have my allotted number of sixes to give out and can't help give them to whenever I drop by and read one of your poems and find a smile on my face at the conclusion of my reading.
As a teacher, I like how you sneak in a both a scientific fact and a wee bit of simple math into your poem. It's subtle inconspicuous and overtly conspicuous at the same time. Creative. (Sorry for the unnecessary adverbs, but my head hurts, my house is like a sweat lodge, and it sounded good.)
Nice example of personification of the Sun with juggling sunbeams. I envisioned the Sun as being a bit of a clown. One with a happy face who likes to tease, all in good, wholesome fun. I've wanted to juggle. Never been successful. Guess I lack the hand-eye coordination. Have you ever tried it?
Voicing is wonderful, again. Once again you have captured the innocence of a child sharing with you their conclusions as he see the world around him. Children are really quite scencient, and the they see things is really quite amazing at times...
Finally, I like how shift the source of the sunbeams from the Sun to soul. After all, aren't the eyes to window to soul? And there, the child knows that he is bathed in the love of those that love him, especially a doting grandmother we all love here at FS.
Wonderful sensory appeal both in terms of the physical senses and the inner ones too. It's a poem that reaches in.
Too dag gone good for a 6. A+...
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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Since I'm not around much, I always have my allotted number of sixes to give out and can't help give them to whenever I drop by and read one of your poems and find a smile on my face at the conclusion of my reading.
As a teacher, I like how you sneak in a both a scientific fact and a wee bit of simple math into your poem. It's subtle inconspicuous and overtly conspicuous at the same time. Creative. (Sorry for the unnecessary adverbs, but my head hurts, my house is like a sweat lodge, and it sounded good.)
Nice example of personification of the Sun with juggling sunbeams. I envisioned the Sun as being a bit of a clown. One with a happy face who likes to tease, all in good, wholesome fun. I've wanted to juggle. Never been successful. Guess I lack the hand-eye coordination. Have you ever tried it?
Voicing is wonderful, again. Once again you have captured the innocence of a child sharing with you their conclusions as he see the world around him. Children are really quite scencient, and the they see things is really quite amazing at times...
Finally, I like how shift the source of the sunbeams from the Sun to soul. After all, aren't the eyes to window to soul? And there, the child knows that he is bathed in the love of those that love him, especially a doting grandmother we all love here at FS.
Wonderful sensory appeal both in terms of the physical senses and the inner ones too. It's a poem that reaches in.
Too dag gone good for a 6. A+...
Comment Written 06-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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Donya, I love hearing from you - always leaves me with a smile.
Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and generosity. Sawyer's mom learned to juggle pretty well from her summer arts consortium art teacher :-) Brooke
Comment from emrpoems
It's really not a secret,
for it's too clear to see --
the sun that's beaming from your eyes
each time you smile at me. Loved these last lines and how that sunbeam come right from your eyes
as usual well written with solid abab rhymes
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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It's really not a secret,
for it's too clear to see --
the sun that's beaming from your eyes
each time you smile at me. Loved these last lines and how that sunbeam come right from your eyes
as usual well written with solid abab rhymes
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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emrpoems, thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from His Grayness
Oh Brooke: I'm so very disappointed to not have the very deserved six stars to celebrate this brilliant work! The meter and message just dance along so beautifully and make this a marvelous and lovely, outstanding work! Vance
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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Oh Brooke: I'm so very disappointed to not have the very deserved six stars to celebrate this brilliant work! The meter and message just dance along so beautifully and make this a marvelous and lovely, outstanding work! Vance
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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Vance, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Titan Black
I like when you were able to make
that sunbeam go astray, taking it
through zones of a child's life time.
Nevertheless, I see that you went
back on track with the children's poems.
And I always like that. Your poetic alliteration
was and is always on point. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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I like when you were able to make
that sunbeam go astray, taking it
through zones of a child's life time.
Nevertheless, I see that you went
back on track with the children's poems.
And I always like that. Your poetic alliteration
was and is always on point. Keep writing.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much, Titan :-) Brooke
Comment from Selina Stambi
Again ... I am in awe at how you create such wisdom and sweetness with the photos of Sawyer inspiring you.
Really lovely, Brooke.
Sonali
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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Again ... I am in awe at how you create such wisdom and sweetness with the photos of Sawyer inspiring you.
Really lovely, Brooke.
Sonali
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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Sonali, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from stroncoso1
I enjoyed this children's poem. I like the connection you make to the sunbeams and the beaming from the child's eyes "each time you smile at me." Your writing seems so effortless and lovely. I think students will enjoy reading and reciting your poem. Lovely!
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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I enjoyed this children's poem. I like the connection you make to the sunbeams and the beaming from the child's eyes "each time you smile at me." Your writing seems so effortless and lovely. I think students will enjoy reading and reciting your poem. Lovely!
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
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stroncoso, thank you so much :-) Brooke
