I Once Believed
two quatrains100 total reviews
Comment from Lady & Louis
I do hope nobody here really needs "green" to be explained! :{
I was half hoping - indeed expecting - to see a surprise turn in the second verse; an affirmation instead of the sceptical or cynical tone one would expect from the first verse. It wasn't quite either, I thought - more philosophical, if anything, which was curious in a way but quite satisfying in its refusal to be obvious, lol.
It's raining, it's pouring and I love the respite from summer! (Just thought I'd throw that wholly irrelevant weather report in. I'm kinda humming even though I'm at work!)
Louise :D
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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I do hope nobody here really needs "green" to be explained! :{
I was half hoping - indeed expecting - to see a surprise turn in the second verse; an affirmation instead of the sceptical or cynical tone one would expect from the first verse. It wasn't quite either, I thought - more philosophical, if anything, which was curious in a way but quite satisfying in its refusal to be obvious, lol.
It's raining, it's pouring and I love the respite from summer! (Just thought I'd throw that wholly irrelevant weather report in. I'm kinda humming even though I'm at work!)
Louise :D
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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It's pouring here too, but with cold weather thrown in - I'll trade you! :-) Thanks for the interesting observations, Louise - it was meant to be rather sad as I was feeling punk when I wrote it :-) Brooke
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I hope you're feeling happier now, then!
It's cool-cold here too, thank goodness - I wouldn't be at all impressed if it was hot and wet. Tropical weather ain't my kinda thing! This weather's much better, almost wintry, and it means I get to see Himself in his lovely green cable knit and black leather jacket!
Louise
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send me a guy in a sweater and leather jacket and I'll brighten right up! LOL
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LOL! If I could clone him ...
Comment from ArtGal
Awwww Brooke, I think we should still believe in fairytales because they make us happy and sometimes we need that. Love does prevail but it won't fall into your lap, you have to be around it. Suggestion, what my hairdresser just did, sign up for match.com, lol. I'm serious, she's meeting some great people! I dare you. . .Sharon
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Awwww Brooke, I think we should still believe in fairytales because they make us happy and sometimes we need that. Love does prevail but it won't fall into your lap, you have to be around it. Suggestion, what my hairdresser just did, sign up for match.com, lol. I'm serious, she's meeting some great people! I dare you. . .Sharon
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Thanks, Sharon - I tried internet dating about 10 years ago - let's just say that after a couple of months of non-stellar experiences, I decided against continuing. LOL Brooke :-)
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Too bad, she said match.com is the best. She checked around a lot beforehand. Hey, what do you have to lose?????
Comment from missy98writer
Brooke,
Your quatrain poems are always a joy to read. This quatrain "I once Believed" is hauntingly lovely.
Rhyme and meter - well executed.
Descrpitive scheme - spot on.
I love the first quatrain the best:
'I once believed in fairytales
and hope that flew on wings unseen.
So sure was I that love prevails,
but that was then when I was green'
The art work and color scheme matched the poem.
Melissa.
Here's a quote for you:
"The Possible's slow fuse is lit
By the Imagination."
by Emily Dickinson
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Brooke,
Your quatrain poems are always a joy to read. This quatrain "I once Believed" is hauntingly lovely.
Rhyme and meter - well executed.
Descrpitive scheme - spot on.
I love the first quatrain the best:
'I once believed in fairytales
and hope that flew on wings unseen.
So sure was I that love prevails,
but that was then when I was green'
The art work and color scheme matched the poem.
Melissa.
Here's a quote for you:
"The Possible's slow fuse is lit
By the Imagination."
by Emily Dickinson
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Emily's writing is the source of my screen name - thank you so much :-) Brooke
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I thought so.
Melissa.
Comment from sgalletti
Hi Brooke! I really enjoyed your two quatrains on what it means to be green and naive. I was always extraordinarily naive--pollyanish in fact. I still am to a degree--even though you would have thought I'd learned by now. So, I definitely related to the message of this piece. Sue
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Hi Brooke! I really enjoyed your two quatrains on what it means to be green and naive. I was always extraordinarily naive--pollyanish in fact. I still am to a degree--even though you would have thought I'd learned by now. So, I definitely related to the message of this piece. Sue
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Thanks, Sue - it's always good to know people can relate - I'm just happy you finally found your love :-) Brooke
Comment from patwannabe
Brooke, marvelous. I first thought these were contest words that were supposed to be used. Then I saw that those particular words weren't used, puzzled a sec, and duh! saw the colon. I love it. Amazing how differently a word can be used. Very well done, pat
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Brooke, marvelous. I first thought these were contest words that were supposed to be used. Then I saw that those particular words weren't used, puzzled a sec, and duh! saw the colon. I love it. Amazing how differently a word can be used. Very well done, pat
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Thank you, Pat - so glad you enjoyed - you made me laugh about the author's notes :-) Brooke
Comment from Janelle
This is such a sad and wistful poem Brooke, beautifully written with excellent rhythm and a gentle flow to it..
I think fairytales were invented to encourage us to believe that there are happy endings out there for all of us. But even fairytales have a dark or sad section to them, before the knight in his shining armour (or the fairy godmother in floating pastel shades!) appears to save the day.
Great poets such as yourself have usually suffered such a loss I find. You have such a loving, compassionate and giving heart Brooke, that shows in every piece you write. It has engendered much love for you from so many people here on Fanstory who enjoy and admire your wonderful poetry.
Maybe your prince has just been delayed because his horse has lost a shoe or three!
A lovely poem that I wish you didn't have to write my friend. Regards, Jan
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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This is such a sad and wistful poem Brooke, beautifully written with excellent rhythm and a gentle flow to it..
I think fairytales were invented to encourage us to believe that there are happy endings out there for all of us. But even fairytales have a dark or sad section to them, before the knight in his shining armour (or the fairy godmother in floating pastel shades!) appears to save the day.
Great poets such as yourself have usually suffered such a loss I find. You have such a loving, compassionate and giving heart Brooke, that shows in every piece you write. It has engendered much love for you from so many people here on Fanstory who enjoy and admire your wonderful poetry.
Maybe your prince has just been delayed because his horse has lost a shoe or three!
A lovely poem that I wish you didn't have to write my friend. Regards, Jan
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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What a lovely, encouraging thing to say, Jan - if you see a knight riding about on a limping, shoeless horse, please tell him I say it's all right if he dumps the nag and shows up on a bus! LOL Thank you, dear friend :-) Brooke
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LOL! Brooke my friend, the modern day prince's steed is a red Ford Mustang, you will hear him coming for miles I can tell ya! :)
Comment from Trybuck
Maybe you should have added a third quatrain because this one ended on a bit of a sad note but not all sad for the person seems to have a better handle on life now.
Well done, Buck
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Maybe you should have added a third quatrain because this one ended on a bit of a sad note but not all sad for the person seems to have a better handle on life now.
Well done, Buck
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Buck, I meant it to add on a sad note. Thanks so much, Brooke :-)
Comment from fictionwriter
We all have to learn the hard lessons, don't we. I know now that happily ever after isn't alway that happy. LOL. Live and learn. Great little poem. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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We all have to learn the hard lessons, don't we. I know now that happily ever after isn't alway that happy. LOL. Live and learn. Great little poem. Nicely done.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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thank you, Joy - sound like you can relate :-) Brooke
Comment from Sally Carter
Another superb poem, with really wonderful meter.
A touching feeling of melancholy, but without bitterness, acceptance that comes with maturity?
I might have considered putting a comma between "then" and "when" at the end of the first stanza. I found it slightly hard to disentangle the words on first reading - a bit of a visual eye? twister.
Nonetheless, I enjoyed it enormously. Kind regards Sally
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Another superb poem, with really wonderful meter.
A touching feeling of melancholy, but without bitterness, acceptance that comes with maturity?
I might have considered putting a comma between "then" and "when" at the end of the first stanza. I found it slightly hard to disentangle the words on first reading - a bit of a visual eye? twister.
Nonetheless, I enjoyed it enormously. Kind regards Sally
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Sally, I'll take another look at that line - thanks so much for your thoughtful comments :-) Brooke
Comment from hotstuff
HOW SAD YOUR POEM IS. I FELT THE DISAPPOINTMENT AND SORROW OF LOST HOPE SO ACUTELY. BUT BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THAN NOT TO HAVE LOVED AT ALL (SO THEY SAY).
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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HOW SAD YOUR POEM IS. I FELT THE DISAPPOINTMENT AND SORROW OF LOST HOPE SO ACUTELY. BUT BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THAN NOT TO HAVE LOVED AT ALL (SO THEY SAY).
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Thank you, hotstuff - yep, this was a love that left me with the two most wonderful children in the world so it sure was better to have loved and lost :-) Brooke
