Quaterns: Observations on Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Great Bursts of Golden Flowers Grow"Assorted Reflections
115 total reviews
Comment from nora arjuna
Hi brooke, you painted such a lovely picture here. I enjoyed the read, the peaceful imagery and fresh scents which float off the page. A golden burst indeed.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Hi brooke, you painted such a lovely picture here. I enjoyed the read, the peaceful imagery and fresh scents which float off the page. A golden burst indeed.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Nora - so glad you enjoyed :-) Brooke
Comment from Katiesherrill
This was so nice. I love how the first line drops down. It was challenging I'm sure but nicely done. I didn't mind the modification in the last line, it totally worked.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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This was so nice. I love how the first line drops down. It was challenging I'm sure but nicely done. I didn't mind the modification in the last line, it totally worked.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Katie. I love the quatern form because of the dropping line :-) The challenge of form poetry is half its charm for me! Brooke :-)
Comment from writinflower01
Hello,
First, thanks for explaining the poem form. I'm glad to know this in general and for your poem specifically.
The last stanza was beautiful- I really enjoyed it. I think that the slight alteration in the rhyme scheme doesn't matter (I actually didn't catch it until I read the explanatory note)
Was wondering if abode and bestowed was a forced rhyme? For me it lost a little of the flow in that stanza.
Also (and this only matters if you care about such things) the first two stanza have commas ending the second line, but the third stanza uses three commas, and the fourth stanza none. Only if it matters to you to be symmetrical.
Good job. Very tight and polished.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Hello,
First, thanks for explaining the poem form. I'm glad to know this in general and for your poem specifically.
The last stanza was beautiful- I really enjoyed it. I think that the slight alteration in the rhyme scheme doesn't matter (I actually didn't catch it until I read the explanatory note)
Was wondering if abode and bestowed was a forced rhyme? For me it lost a little of the flow in that stanza.
Also (and this only matters if you care about such things) the first two stanza have commas ending the second line, but the third stanza uses three commas, and the fourth stanza none. Only if it matters to you to be symmetrical.
Good job. Very tight and polished.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Thank you for your thoughtful comments and input, my friend. I'm sorry abode/bestowed did not work for you - personally, I like it :-) And no, I've never tried to have symmetry in my commas from verse to verse -frankly, that concept never even occurred to me. Brooke :-)
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haha, well if you like it, then that's all that matters girl.
And I'm OCD about my commas, but that's just me and my OCD-ness. =)
Shelly
Comment from Teri7
Brooke, This is a very good poem about your favorite flower. I happen to like those also. As I was reading your words I could see them in my minds eye. Good luck. Hugs, Teri
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Brooke, This is a very good poem about your favorite flower. I happen to like those also. As I was reading your words I could see them in my minds eye. Good luck. Hugs, Teri
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Teri - I appreciate your thoughtful comments :-) Brooke
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Brooke, loved the form and rhythmn of this and the imagery it conjured up for me. I almost had an image of the poem "I wandered lonely as a cloud ..." and the fields of golden daffodils.
Patrick
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Hi Brooke, loved the form and rhythmn of this and the imagery it conjured up for me. I almost had an image of the poem "I wandered lonely as a cloud ..." and the fields of golden daffodils.
Patrick
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Patrick - glad you enjoyed - and any association with Wordsworth's wondrous poem is obviously meant to make me smile the rest of the week! Brooke :-)
Comment from jason456
Brooke,
I never thought a dandelion could be such a beautiful flower. The words you use are mesmerizing and amazing. I think you could make anything sound wonderful; that's why I love reading your work, which is always brilliant. Have a good night and happy writing!
Patti :)
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Brooke,
I never thought a dandelion could be such a beautiful flower. The words you use are mesmerizing and amazing. I think you could make anything sound wonderful; that's why I love reading your work, which is always brilliant. Have a good night and happy writing!
Patti :)
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Patti - you are most kind and encouraging :-) Brooke
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Brooke,
My pleasure.
Patti :)
Comment from sugardog
This poem makes me believe that dandelions are as pretty as your words here. I have sooo many dandelions in my yard in the spring-I always thought them to be a nuisence, but Maybe I will see them in a new light. I know children love them...I think people even eat them sometimes, although that doesn,t sound good to me. Dogs and all...Well, you wrote a beauty here as always and I thought this form of poetry was very interesting. My favorite stanza is the second one-very nice. I wish you lots of luck!!:)
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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This poem makes me believe that dandelions are as pretty as your words here. I have sooo many dandelions in my yard in the spring-I always thought them to be a nuisence, but Maybe I will see them in a new light. I know children love them...I think people even eat them sometimes, although that doesn,t sound good to me. Dogs and all...Well, you wrote a beauty here as always and I thought this form of poetry was very interesting. My favorite stanza is the second one-very nice. I wish you lots of luck!!:)
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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sugardog, thank you. My grandpa used to make dandelion wine, and I understand that they are quite healthy in salads :-) Hey, dogs can just as easily pee on lettuce! LOL Brooke
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Well you're right about the lettuce-I have a fence around my garden, but not my dandelions lol...
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I buy my lettuce and other veggies from the store - I hate to think what rabbits and such might have been doing whatever around them - and the underground veggies like carrots - all those worms and bugs! Great, now I'm going to have to give up eating after this discussion. LOL
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LOL I understand!! I grow my own vegis, but I do have chickens and such-the fence only does so much. Really kinda gross when you think about it...What is safe to eat really?? :)
Comment from Winslow
Dear Brooke,
Dandelions go from being a burst of yellow with graceful necks to ugly duckings from which the seeds have fled.(LOL) Come see my lawn in late May for it is wild with dandelion blooms. Good rhyming as always.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Dear Brooke,
Dandelions go from being a burst of yellow with graceful necks to ugly duckings from which the seeds have fled.(LOL) Come see my lawn in late May for it is wild with dandelion blooms. Good rhyming as always.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Than you, Winslow - ah, now, one is not supposed to think about them out of season! LOL Brooke :-)
Comment from mountainwriter49
I would have never imagined writing about the dandelion; however, your poem makes the flower ever so beautiful. The flow of your poem is smooth and the rhyme perfect. I can imagine fields covered with this, or any other wild flower. it is indeed a pleasant thought. Thanks for sharing your poem. -ray
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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I would have never imagined writing about the dandelion; however, your poem makes the flower ever so beautiful. The flow of your poem is smooth and the rhyme perfect. I can imagine fields covered with this, or any other wild flower. it is indeed a pleasant thought. Thanks for sharing your poem. -ray
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Ray, thank you. I'm so glad the dandelion won you over ;-) Brooke
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Brooke,
A beautiful poem.
I like dandelions too, especially when my kids pick them for me.
They are little burst of sunshine.
My favorite stanza is your last one.
Nice job.
Good luck in the contest.
kathryn
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2009
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Brooke,
A beautiful poem.
I like dandelions too, especially when my kids pick them for me.
They are little burst of sunshine.
My favorite stanza is your last one.
Nice job.
Good luck in the contest.
kathryn
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Kathryn. I appreciate your thoughtful response and apologize for the long delayed reply. Brooke :-)
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You're welcome Brooke.
Kathryn
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You're welcome Brooke.
kathryn
