rondels and rondeaus
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "As Crowds Pass By"rondels and rondeaus
97 total reviews
Comment from tteach
Excellently written. Poignant. The image supports the words. I can imagine this woman thinking the words...about how lonely she is, even when those crowds buzz around her.
terry
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Excellently written. Poignant. The image supports the words. I can imagine this woman thinking the words...about how lonely she is, even when those crowds buzz around her.
terry
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much, Terry - it is difficult to receive exceptional ratings this late in the week, so I truly do appreciate your most generous and reflective review :-) Brooke
Comment from TKField
This rondeau has me spinning round and round. It reminds me of that famous poem, Antigonish, by William Hughes in I899:
Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish I wish he'd go away
When I came home tonight at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn't see him there at all
Again, you've skillfully packed a rhyming poem into a strict form. Boy, Phil Donahue does not look good. Two words; Sun Screen!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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This rondeau has me spinning round and round. It reminds me of that famous poem, Antigonish, by William Hughes in I899:
Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish I wish he'd go away
When I came home tonight at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn't see him there at all
Again, you've skillfully packed a rhyming poem into a strict form. Boy, Phil Donahue does not look good. Two words; Sun Screen!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thank you for your review, T.K. Brooke
Comment from skye
Your poetic images are very strong, coupled with the heart wrenching picture.
I think we all tend to overlook those who are down and out.
I am grateful for the wake-up call.
It could be us at any moment.
Very well done.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Your poetic images are very strong, coupled with the heart wrenching picture.
I think we all tend to overlook those who are down and out.
I am grateful for the wake-up call.
It could be us at any moment.
Very well done.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Skye, thank you. I always appreciate your taking the time to read and reflect. Brooke
Comment from Dave M
Brooke,
This is an excellent poem, one of your better ones. I enjoyed reading it, and I couldn't find anything to criticize.
From what I've heard, some homeless people choose to live like that. But there are those who have been totally beaten down.
Dave
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Brooke,
This is an excellent poem, one of your better ones. I enjoyed reading it, and I couldn't find anything to criticize.
From what I've heard, some homeless people choose to live like that. But there are those who have been totally beaten down.
Dave
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Yes, there are those who choose this, and mental illness is driving most of that. One of the people I was particularly thinking of when writing this is a woman in her 40's who has been sleeping at the transportation center the past few weeks - she is clearly miserable with her situation and complains about how tired and hungry she is because she can't get much sleep or food that way, but when I asked her if she had spoken to the professional staff people at the center where I serve breakfast about finding her some program, she hemmed and hawed and mumbled something about burning bridges. So, yes, I would say she is choosing her situation, but I seriously doubt she has any competent ability to be making those choices. It is all quite sad. Thank you, Dave. Brooke
Comment from L.lora
Such a poignant deep poem, many layers are spoken here, one only needs to read and listen to what falls between your well crafted lines. You've given us detailed snap-shots of life of one homeless person..great job. Lora
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Such a poignant deep poem, many layers are spoken here, one only needs to read and listen to what falls between your well crafted lines. You've given us detailed snap-shots of life of one homeless person..great job. Lora
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Lora, thank you. I truly appreciate your thoughtful response. Brooke :-)
Comment from Steve Pantazis
It's a shame we ignore the homeless, the aged, the infirm. It's a natural tendency in society, but when we think about it, it's deplorable. Nice work in exposing the ugly side of human nature and trying to remind us that we might some day end up in the same place as those we scoff.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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It's a shame we ignore the homeless, the aged, the infirm. It's a natural tendency in society, but when we think about it, it's deplorable. Nice work in exposing the ugly side of human nature and trying to remind us that we might some day end up in the same place as those we scoff.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Especially the aged and infirm - I literally shake with anger when some of the people who come into the shelter are elderly or visibly physically and intellectually impaired. It is bad enough we allow anyone to be without shelter, food, the basic necessities, but when we do this with senior citizens and disabled people??? Oh, I could deliver diatribes that go on forever. There are a few elderly gentlemen who come in regularly, and I know I make their day by one TINY act - I call them "Sir." What effort would that take everyone else, but I sense I may be the only person to do it in a long, long time. Thank you for listening to me rant and for your great review. Brooke :-)
Comment from sibhus
I could see this working in free verse as well, but the rondeau form is really beautiful. You have really captured those devasting feelings of loneliness and being alone in gripping words with wonderful rhymes. Maybe you start your own contest. Wonderful poem.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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I could see this working in free verse as well, but the rondeau form is really beautiful. You have really captured those devasting feelings of loneliness and being alone in gripping words with wonderful rhymes. Maybe you start your own contest. Wonderful poem.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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I don't sponsor contests ever - too much headache with people breaking eligibility rules and other people complaining about the people who broke the rules and the sponsor stuck in the middle with hurt feelings on both sides! :-) Thanks so much, my friend. Brooke
Comment from PUPA
Brooke, this poem is very touching, that cruel world we live in can turn its back on us any moment, in so many different ways, so called 'friends' suddenly don't know you anymore. Ignoring a person is so hurtful.
I loved your 'rhymed'poem about loneliness. The words and artwork are most expressive.
Love
Pupa
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Brooke, this poem is very touching, that cruel world we live in can turn its back on us any moment, in so many different ways, so called 'friends' suddenly don't know you anymore. Ignoring a person is so hurtful.
I loved your 'rhymed'poem about loneliness. The words and artwork are most expressive.
Love
Pupa
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thank you, Pupa, for your insightful read of this poem - yes, the worst is when friends and relatives turn on a person at his lowest. Brooke :-)
Comment from GentleWind
You are exactly right. We have enough contempt in this world. I always seem to love your poetry, maybe because it speaks from your heart like a melody. This flows well and the imagery is good, but sad. Great job
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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You are exactly right. We have enough contempt in this world. I always seem to love your poetry, maybe because it speaks from your heart like a melody. This flows well and the imagery is good, but sad. Great job
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thank you, GentleWind - your gracious comments are most welcome. Brooke :-)
Comment from Jazh
This is a very powerful poem, Brooke - I'm glad you wrote it, instead of free verse. It gives an accurate picture of homeless people, and you're right - the internal loathing is greater than the external: "perhaps it's best I disappear". So true. :)
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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This is a very powerful poem, Brooke - I'm glad you wrote it, instead of free verse. It gives an accurate picture of homeless people, and you're right - the internal loathing is greater than the external: "perhaps it's best I disappear". So true. :)
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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OH, be REALLY happy I didn't write free verse as I pretty much stink at it! LOL Thanks, Adele :-) Brooke
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lol I can't imagine you 'stinking' at any poetic form, Brooke! But yes, the rhythm and rhymes are embedded in your soul, I think. :)
