When Jack in the Pulpit Prays
quatrains in mixed iambs and anapests - see notes72 total reviews
Comment from Peter@Poole
This is a prettily and wittily written poem, Brooke. I enjoyed the way you have rhymed it, with your customary care and skill. While checking your iambic and anapestic feet, I noticed that there's a missing word [to] in the English, that, if inserted, will upset the metre/meter. Because it's you, I'd like to be proved wrong, so please respond. I can only come up with, 'in those given life to be kind and just.'
We also have a Jack in the pulpit [aka Lords and Ladies or Cuckoo Pint], but not the same species, so the English-speaking settlers in North America must have appreciated the similarity. It's worth consulting Wikipedia for some interesting facts. Peter
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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This is a prettily and wittily written poem, Brooke. I enjoyed the way you have rhymed it, with your customary care and skill. While checking your iambic and anapestic feet, I noticed that there's a missing word [to] in the English, that, if inserted, will upset the metre/meter. Because it's you, I'd like to be proved wrong, so please respond. I can only come up with, 'in those given life to be kind and just.'
We also have a Jack in the pulpit [aka Lords and Ladies or Cuckoo Pint], but not the same species, so the English-speaking settlers in North America must have appreciated the similarity. It's worth consulting Wikipedia for some interesting facts. Peter
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Peter, thank you :-) I'm not sure where you're talking about a missing "to" - the line reads - placed His trust in those He gave life to be kind and just. Where do you want another "to"? Lords and Ladies, another great name - I love wildflower names.
Brooke :-)
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For me, 'placed His trust in those He gave life [to]' requires the 'to' in parenthesis. This is followed by, 'to be kind and just'. One cannot add the first 'to', because it upsets the metre, which is why I suggested an alternative which preserves it.
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now I see what you're saying - having that "to" not there doesn't bother me at all - it never even occurred to me it should have been there.
I just read your skipping children triolet - what a joy :-) I had a long phone conversation with Eric last night and then just got off the phone with Miranda, so I immediately had visions of the two of them at that age skipping along :-)
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We are here concerned with direct and indirect objects. We say, 'He gave life to', or 'to whom He gave life'. However, I'm slowly coming round to your rendering. :) I love it that we share so much. 'Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediment'. Shakespeare
Comment from hotstuff
What beautiful sentiments you express in this poem of yours Brooke. Your second stanza says a lot about taking the responsibility for change. I suppose it is easy to think one small individual can't make much difference in the scheme of things but added up those small efforts make a big impact collectively I guess.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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What beautiful sentiments you express in this poem of yours Brooke. Your second stanza says a lot about taking the responsibility for change. I suppose it is easy to think one small individual can't make much difference in the scheme of things but added up those small efforts make a big impact collectively I guess.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Hotstuff. I'm so glad you found meaning in this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from words
So lovely!
Yes it is up to us:
I hear as he speaks of our need for peace.
I nod as he asks that all hate decrease.
I kneel when God answers that we must be
the ones who achieve what we long to see.
We are the change we want to see. You have put it so lyrically here.
I love the name of the flower. Now I have to look them up.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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So lovely!
Yes it is up to us:
I hear as he speaks of our need for peace.
I nod as he asks that all hate decrease.
I kneel when God answers that we must be
the ones who achieve what we long to see.
We are the change we want to see. You have put it so lyrically here.
I love the name of the flower. Now I have to look them up.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Diane - of course, you "get" precisely what I am saying :-) Brooke
Comment from Amfunny
Hahahahaha. Love the explanation. Were you afraid I might catch you once again? Loved your poem. It was perfect and cute. :)
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Hahahahaha. Love the explanation. Were you afraid I might catch you once again? Loved your poem. It was perfect and cute. :)
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Hey, I don't need you writing exposes about how I tried to deceive the membership with a bait and switch flower!!!! I know your eagle eye would catch the deception if I tried to get away with it, Norma Jean :-) You're a hoot. Thank you, dear friend :-) Brooke
Comment from IndianaIrish
Your words flow so beautifully in this poem, Brooke, but it's the message that moves me. Kindness does start with each person, and it's like a ripple that spreads out to touch others in hopes they will do the same. Lovely thoughts.
Karyn :>)
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Your words flow so beautifully in this poem, Brooke, but it's the message that moves me. Kindness does start with each person, and it's like a ripple that spreads out to touch others in hopes they will do the same. Lovely thoughts.
Karyn :>)
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Karyn, for commenting on both the composition and the message that we bear the responsibility for making our planet a better place :-) Brooke
Comment from Arkine
Nature figured it out a long time ago, we're the ones that still have a lot of learning to do. But, we're motional creatures, driven by instincts that we try to deny exist. Logic and nature clash within us creating violent responses. I long for peace, but will spring to action instincively if the situation demands it.
War, is a thought out and drawn out violent reaciton to ... what?
My mind is wandering, stressfull couple of days. Anyhow, nicely done! :)
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Nature figured it out a long time ago, we're the ones that still have a lot of learning to do. But, we're motional creatures, driven by instincts that we try to deny exist. Logic and nature clash within us creating violent responses. I long for peace, but will spring to action instincively if the situation demands it.
War, is a thought out and drawn out violent reaciton to ... what?
My mind is wandering, stressfull couple of days. Anyhow, nicely done! :)
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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I'm sorry to hear you've been having stressful days, my friend. Thank you for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from barbara.wilkey
When I was little in the latter part of spring almost summer, we would go mushroom hunting. I haven't had fried mushrooms since we left the midwest. Don't ask me how but your beautiful poem reminded me of how delicious they were.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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When I was little in the latter part of spring almost summer, we would go mushroom hunting. I haven't had fried mushrooms since we left the midwest. Don't ask me how but your beautiful poem reminded me of how delicious they were.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Barbara. Mushroom hunting is a lot like jack in the pulpit hunting - I see the connection :-) Brooke
Comment from AnnaLinda
Brooke,
These quatrains are very creative and carry
a strong spiritual message and one that we
each can implement in our lives. Your author
notes are also interesting.
Your rhymes are nice and your form seems perfect.
I especially liked the first stanza and these
lines specifically:
"I open my heart so that I might hear
words spoken direct to my soul, not ear"
Linda
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Brooke,
These quatrains are very creative and carry
a strong spiritual message and one that we
each can implement in our lives. Your author
notes are also interesting.
Your rhymes are nice and your form seems perfect.
I especially liked the first stanza and these
lines specifically:
"I open my heart so that I might hear
words spoken direct to my soul, not ear"
Linda
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you so much, Linda, for your most positive and gracious review :-) Brooke
Comment from chaswriter
Brooke - You make it sound so easy. Believe me, I've tried. The quatrain poem is what I would try to master first but, alas, I stink at it. Your quatrains are so smooth in flow and the rhyme seems so natural. Nice tribute to Jack.
Charlie
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Brooke - You make it sound so easy. Believe me, I've tried. The quatrain poem is what I would try to master first but, alas, I stink at it. Your quatrains are so smooth in flow and the rhyme seems so natural. Nice tribute to Jack.
Charlie
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Charlie :-) I'm so glad you found this meter read smoothly :-) Brooke
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Brooke, another lovely poem and all about prayer. The poem touched me deeply. It rhymed and flowed well. Nice flower in the presentation.
Thanks for sharing. luv jada
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Hi Brooke, another lovely poem and all about prayer. The poem touched me deeply. It rhymed and flowed well. Nice flower in the presentation.
Thanks for sharing. luv jada
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you so much, Jada - you are a delight :-) Brooke
