Thy Grace
A Crown of Sonnets78 total reviews
Comment from boberto
Ah, Alvin, a deep look into a soul. I enjoyed this--read it two times and intend to read again once I have digested it better. There is only one nit, and it is a personal thing with me---that's rhyming a word that ends with "s" with a word that does not. I just posted a verse entitled, "Not In His Image," which you probably would not agree with. As is usual with me, I did not pay any attention to meter. I don't speak nor think in meter. Guess I could leave "meter" off when referring to me not thinking.
Good job.
Rob
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
Ah, Alvin, a deep look into a soul. I enjoyed this--read it two times and intend to read again once I have digested it better. There is only one nit, and it is a personal thing with me---that's rhyming a word that ends with "s" with a word that does not. I just posted a verse entitled, "Not In His Image," which you probably would not agree with. As is usual with me, I did not pay any attention to meter. I don't speak nor think in meter. Guess I could leave "meter" off when referring to me not thinking.
Good job.
Rob
Comment Written 22-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Thanks for the exceptional review. For clarification, do all proximate rhymes disturb you, or just rhyming a word that ends with a "s" with a word that does not? I didn't quite understand. Thanks again for an exceptional review.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
Alvin, I have no six-star ratings left or I certainly would award it here. Not only is this a masterful work of poetry ("heroic" in more than one sense!) it also is a most informed, honest and credible testimony of faith in Jesus Christ. I don't know if you've had formal theological training, but I recognize this as well-based in Scripture and theologically sound. I am touched by many passages, but these particularly stand out: "My horrid childhood Thou and I survived"; "Like me, He was rejected and despised."; "No one knew He was God unveiled." The concluding lines are beautifully understated: "As symbolized by Friend, the Lamb, and Dove / Thy grace has been a constant source of Love." The crown of sonnets is technically well done, which is no surprise, and your notes are informative. (I would never question the scansion of your work, knowing you to be an expert.) Another understatement here, but this was certainly a heroic undertaking. I sincerely wish you the best in this contest. Jeanie Mercer
P.S. I have now changed this rating to six stars!
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
Alvin, I have no six-star ratings left or I certainly would award it here. Not only is this a masterful work of poetry ("heroic" in more than one sense!) it also is a most informed, honest and credible testimony of faith in Jesus Christ. I don't know if you've had formal theological training, but I recognize this as well-based in Scripture and theologically sound. I am touched by many passages, but these particularly stand out: "My horrid childhood Thou and I survived"; "Like me, He was rejected and despised."; "No one knew He was God unveiled." The concluding lines are beautifully understated: "As symbolized by Friend, the Lamb, and Dove / Thy grace has been a constant source of Love." The crown of sonnets is technically well done, which is no surprise, and your notes are informative. (I would never question the scansion of your work, knowing you to be an expert.) Another understatement here, but this was certainly a heroic undertaking. I sincerely wish you the best in this contest. Jeanie Mercer
P.S. I have now changed this rating to six stars!
Comment Written 22-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Yes, I have a fairly good theological education.
It's actually very easy to change the review or rating of a work at any time. I do it often on Sunday when I receive my allotment of two six stars reviews. Of course, each time I do that, I lose a six star rating for the week beginning on said Sunday.
Go to My Menu in the upper left hand corner of the screen. Scroll down to My Feedback and from the drop-down menu, select Reviews I Wrote. All the reviews you have written will come up, and you scroll down to the one you want to change. Click on Edit Review in the lower RIGHT hand screen of the review; you then can change the wording of the review or the rating.
Of course, I am not asking you to revise the review or the rating; I am just explaining how it can be done after the factâ??it's helped me correct many a mistake.
Thanks again for a wonderful review.
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Alvin, I truly was frustrated not to have six stars available for this magnificent crown of sonnets. I plan to edit my rating tomorrow. Thanks for telling me how to do that! Best regards, JM
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You're welcome. Glad to be of help.
Comment from Diny
I have rread in awe many of these entries into the 7 sonnet form contest and I absolutluy love your theme on this- What an excellant wittness! Good luck- and as always write on-Di
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
I have rread in awe many of these entries into the 7 sonnet form contest and I absolutluy love your theme on this- What an excellant wittness! Good luck- and as always write on-Di
Comment Written 22-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Thanks for a great review.
Comment from honeytree
Very powerful words have been written here.The truth is seen here within every word written. I liked the way how the writer wrote this with faith, and indeed his writing these words and the love he felt for God.
Exceptional writing and Art work.
Honeytree.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
Very powerful words have been written here.The truth is seen here within every word written. I liked the way how the writer wrote this with faith, and indeed his writing these words and the love he felt for God.
Exceptional writing and Art work.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Thanks for a great review; I truly appreciate it.
Comment from adewpearl
Alvin, I can not only see the months of work you put into this crown of sonnets but also the skill and the soul. This story about your life and the place God and your faith have played in it is magnificent. The iambic pentameter is spot on, the rhymes solid and unforced, the repeating transition lines work effectively, and the imagery and Biblical allusions are thoughtful and compelling. I'm sorry I have no six to offer, but I send you my appreciation and admiration. Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
Alvin, I can not only see the months of work you put into this crown of sonnets but also the skill and the soul. This story about your life and the place God and your faith have played in it is magnificent. The iambic pentameter is spot on, the rhymes solid and unforced, the repeating transition lines work effectively, and the imagery and Biblical allusions are thoughtful and compelling. I'm sorry I have no six to offer, but I send you my appreciation and admiration. Brooke :-)
Comment Written 22-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Thanks for a very good and analytic review.
It's actually very easy to change the review or rating of a work at any time. I do it often on Sunday when I receive my allotment of two six stars reviews. Of course, each time I do that, I lose a six star rating for the week beginning on said Sunday.
Go to My Menu in the upper left hand corner of the screen. Scroll down to My Feedback and from the drop-down menu, select Reviews I Wrote. All the reviews you have written will come up, and you scroll down to the one you want to change. Click on Edit Review in the lower RIGHT hand screen of the review; you then can change the wording of the review or the rating.
Of course, I am not asking you to revise the review or the rating; I am just explaining how it can be done after the factâ??it's helped me correct many a mistake.
Thanks again for reading this work so carefully.
Comment from babylonia
is inclusio a normal thing for a crown of sonnets? it works out well in this one. i can see why it took three months to produce. LOL i can see me now with a dictionary in one hand and rhymer in the other, typing with a pencil in my mouth. this is definitely a good one. good luck~
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
is inclusio a normal thing for a crown of sonnets? it works out well in this one. i can see why it took three months to produce. LOL i can see me now with a dictionary in one hand and rhymer in the other, typing with a pencil in my mouth. this is definitely a good one. good luck~
love,
barbara
Comment Written 22-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Yes, the inclusio for the whole sequence is required. Thanks for a great review.
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okay,
i may have to write one of these some day.
love,
barbara
do you have to have a certain subject?
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No, but it is usually faith or love and always addressed to one person.
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okay, that helps a lot. thank you
Comment from c_lucas
You did an excellent job of briefly outling the spiritual beliefs of the world. This is very well written. I wish you the best of luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
You did an excellent job of briefly outling the spiritual beliefs of the world. This is very well written. I wish you the best of luck in your contest.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Thanks for noticing the ecumenism of the work; that was very important to me. Thanks also for a good review.
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Thank you for your review and comments, Alvin. Charlie
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You're welcome.
Comment from Realist101
Hi ALvin, sure wish I had a six, just not enough allotted to use. But I am so impressed with your way of showing strong feelings through your writing. It is a complicated piece, one that I will read several times, before completely understanding it? I admire your open and honest work. Take care my friend!! Susan...updated...I cannot get my stars to "take", along with other problems, I don't know what is happening. I really admire this, and see that it has had well over 800 viewings. Very impressive. I could not do this if my life depended upon it!! ") I say send it off, it will do very well Alvin!! My best to you!! Your friend, Susan
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
Hi ALvin, sure wish I had a six, just not enough allotted to use. But I am so impressed with your way of showing strong feelings through your writing. It is a complicated piece, one that I will read several times, before completely understanding it? I admire your open and honest work. Take care my friend!! Susan...updated...I cannot get my stars to "take", along with other problems, I don't know what is happening. I really admire this, and see that it has had well over 800 viewings. Very impressive. I could not do this if my life depended upon it!! ") I say send it off, it will do very well Alvin!! My best to you!! Your friend, Susan
Comment Written 22-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Thanks for a great review.
It's actually very easy to change the review or rating of a work at any time. I do it often on Sunday when I receive my allotment of two six stars reviews. Of course, each time I do that, I lose a six star rating for the week beginning on said Sunday.
Go to My Menu in the upper left hand corner of the screen. Scroll down to My Feedback and from the drop-down menu, select Reviews I Wrote. All the reviews you have written will come up, and you scroll down to the one you want to change. Click on Edit Review in the lower RIGHT hand screen of the review; you then can change the wording of the review or the rating.
Of course, I am not asking you to revise the review or the rating; I am just explaining how it can be done after the factâ??it's helped me correct many a mistake.
Thanks for noticing the complexity of the piece.
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Ok, Alvin, it is good to know this! Thanks, and I will read this again. So many words that I would like to think about. Very interesting. ps...My husband was So impressed with your bio, he said "This is an educated man." my husband does not dole out compliments unmerited.? I know you do not know us, but just thought you would like to know you have another admirer. Your friend, Susan
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That's god to know. Thank you for telling me that.
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I mean good, of course.
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
Al, this is absolutely superb!!! I can easily see how it took 3 months to write this...you are a perfectionist and it is so obvious in each line/verse/sonnet! I love how you used the old english here...didn't think I woulld like it, but you were very consistent and excellent in using it. So many great lines and your vereses run seamlessly one to the next. Great job on this masterfully written entry. Oh, how I wish I could give a six-star for hins one...truly merits it!!! Great luck in the contest//Love. Susanne
Favorite couplet would be:
Thou carest for the sparrow in the dust;
Thou lovest base souls treated with disgust.
Powerful, powerful words.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
Al, this is absolutely superb!!! I can easily see how it took 3 months to write this...you are a perfectionist and it is so obvious in each line/verse/sonnet! I love how you used the old english here...didn't think I woulld like it, but you were very consistent and excellent in using it. So many great lines and your vereses run seamlessly one to the next. Great job on this masterfully written entry. Oh, how I wish I could give a six-star for hins one...truly merits it!!! Great luck in the contest//Love. Susanne
Favorite couplet would be:
Thou carest for the sparrow in the dust;
Thou lovest base souls treated with disgust.
Powerful, powerful words.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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I re-wrote that couplet at least three times. I am glad the final product came out all right.
It's actually very easy to change the review or rating of a work at any time. I do it often on Sunday when I receive my allotment of two six stars reviews. Of course, each time I do that, I lose a six star rating for the week beginning on said Sunday.
Go to My Menu in the upper left hand corner of the screen. Scroll down to My Feedback and from the drop-down menu, select Reviews I Wrote. All the reviews you have written will come up, and you scroll down to the one you want to change. Click on Edit Review in the lower RIGHT hand screen of the review; you then can change the wording of the review or the rating.
Of course, I am not asking you to revise the review or the rating; I am just explaining how it can be done after the factâ??it's helped me correct many a mistake.
I am so glad you thought the poem was powerful.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I'm not surprised it took 3 months to write this. A very galant effort and I'm presuming, a labour of love for you Alvin. Very well written. I especially like the way you entwine some of your own life into the religious story. An enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
I'm not surprised it took 3 months to write this. A very galant effort and I'm presuming, a labour of love for you Alvin. Very well written. I especially like the way you entwine some of your own life into the religious story. An enjoyable read.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Yes, I loved writing this, but I am sleeping a lot now; it sapped me of energy for a while. Thanks for the exceptional review; I truly appreciate it.