Triolets: Traditional and Modified
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "When First I Wished"Poems employing this musical, repeating form
86 total reviews
Comment from words
Again, a simple and elegant use of a form that you do so well.
Loved the visual and color scheme that you chose for the piece.
I do hope, however, that this is not autobiographical.
Found these lines especially poignant:
but shattered dreams have left a scar,
and I've not had the same faith since
when first I wished upon a star
with wide-eyed hope and innocence
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2009
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Again, a simple and elegant use of a form that you do so well.
Loved the visual and color scheme that you chose for the piece.
I do hope, however, that this is not autobiographical.
Found these lines especially poignant:
but shattered dreams have left a scar,
and I've not had the same faith since
when first I wished upon a star
with wide-eyed hope and innocence
Comment Written 24-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2009
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Thank you, my friend - I think we've all had a few shattered dreams and moments of disillusionment - I know I have. I remain the eternal optimist but have my dark thoughts from time to time. Brooke
Comment from sunny39
Brooke - I do not know a lot about the different forms of poetry. I only know what speaks to me and your poem, "When I First Wished" definitely spoke loud and clear to me. I, too, remember as a child believing my wishes would come true, and that nothing was impossible. Sadly, as I grew older, I understood that just because I wished for it, did not make it come true. But, I still wish upon a star from time to time. Perhaps, in time, one will come true.
An excellent poem with absolutely nothing to change!
Sunny
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Brooke - I do not know a lot about the different forms of poetry. I only know what speaks to me and your poem, "When I First Wished" definitely spoke loud and clear to me. I, too, remember as a child believing my wishes would come true, and that nothing was impossible. Sadly, as I grew older, I understood that just because I wished for it, did not make it come true. But, I still wish upon a star from time to time. Perhaps, in time, one will come true.
An excellent poem with absolutely nothing to change!
Sunny
Comment Written 24-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Oh, I still do that wishing too :-) Thanks so much, Sunny. Brooke :-)
Comment from bard owl
Lovely pondering on the aging of a mortal spirit. At first, life is a wonderful gift enhanced by innocence, then as time passes that innocence is altered and sometimes lost. Such a sad inevitablity! A childlike wonder is hard to hold on to. Excellently thoughtful poem, Brooke. And a bittersweet joy to read. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Lovely pondering on the aging of a mortal spirit. At first, life is a wonderful gift enhanced by innocence, then as time passes that innocence is altered and sometimes lost. Such a sad inevitablity! A childlike wonder is hard to hold on to. Excellently thoughtful poem, Brooke. And a bittersweet joy to read. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 24-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Linda, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from Belinda
Ah, the wonder of being a child, to be bestowed with an unmarred happiness. But those times will pass, either naturally or by facing something unexpected. I like this poem of reminiscence, it brings me some nostalgic feelings as well...
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Ah, the wonder of being a child, to be bestowed with an unmarred happiness. But those times will pass, either naturally or by facing something unexpected. I like this poem of reminiscence, it brings me some nostalgic feelings as well...
Comment Written 24-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Belinda, as always :-) Brooke
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Ouch!!!!!!!! I sometimes wish we would never lose the innocences of our childhood. I know that we must, as part of growing older, besides the world would eat us alive. But wouldn't it be wonderful???? I still upon stars at night.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Ouch!!!!!!!! I sometimes wish we would never lose the innocences of our childhood. I know that we must, as part of growing older, besides the world would eat us alive. But wouldn't it be wonderful???? I still upon stars at night.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Barbara - I'm also an eternal optimist who still does that wishing! :-) Brooke
Comment from ArtGal
Awwww, sad that it didn't work and like you said, "but shattered dreams have left a scar." Who wouldn't lose faith? It's like a wishing well when your wishes don't come true. I think our only real hope is our Creator, I'll put my faith there. Well done, Brooke!
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Awwww, sad that it didn't work and like you said, "but shattered dreams have left a scar." Who wouldn't lose faith? It's like a wishing well when your wishes don't come true. I think our only real hope is our Creator, I'll put my faith there. Well done, Brooke!
Comment Written 24-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Sharon. Yes, God is more reliable than wishing stars :-) Brooke
Comment from fayesh
I enjoyed this triolet and thought you did a terrific job on it, Brooke. The loss of innocence and magic that comes with age is thoughtfully presented in your short poem. Faye :)
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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I enjoyed this triolet and thought you did a terrific job on it, Brooke. The loss of innocence and magic that comes with age is thoughtfully presented in your short poem. Faye :)
Comment Written 24-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Faye. I appreciate your thoughtful comments. Brooke :-)
Comment from Dave M
Brooke,
This is an excellent poem, and the picture with it is perfect. I couldn't find anything to criticize.
Those times were quite a few dragons ago, to say nothing of years.
Dave
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Brooke,
This is an excellent poem, and the picture with it is perfect. I couldn't find anything to criticize.
Those times were quite a few dragons ago, to say nothing of years.
Dave
Comment Written 24-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Dave. I appreciate your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from Begin Again
Brooke
Wish I may and wish I might
Have this wish come true to night
The sweet innocence of being a child and thinking everything would be sugar plums and candy drops if we wished upon a star. Just like losing Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and the tool fair...life moves on and takes them away. I loved your poem. It gives the reader something to remember and maybe something to hope for.
Carol
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2009
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Brooke
Wish I may and wish I might
Have this wish come true to night
The sweet innocence of being a child and thinking everything would be sugar plums and candy drops if we wished upon a star. Just like losing Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and the tool fair...life moves on and takes them away. I loved your poem. It gives the reader something to remember and maybe something to hope for.
Carol
Comment Written 24-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Carol - yes, the illusions slowly get stripped away. Brooke :-)
Comment from HalfHoff
Even though this verse is exceptional in every way, it leaves me alittle sad - lost hope and all. Look up dollface -- there are still stars waiting to grant your wishes. XO
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2009
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Even though this verse is exceptional in every way, it leaves me alittle sad - lost hope and all. Look up dollface -- there are still stars waiting to grant your wishes. XO
Comment Written 24-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2009
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Thanks, Lea Ann - you just brought a smile by saying that :-) Brooke
