Comment from Soulester

Excellent

Hi, Brooke, I think I might like this Halloween poem the best of all--but then I think that every time you post a new one. The fear, tension, and paralysis are almost palpable in the last two verses. Add to that your mastery of meter and rhythm.... Wow. Mary

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

---

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Thanks, Mary - so glad you're enjoying the spooky stuff :-) Brooke

Comment from Belinda

Excellent

Halloween or no halloween (there's none here), I am very reluctant to get my fortune read. What if the reading is like this one? Oh so scary. Sometimes readings prove true too. One day out of fun in an office gathering I let a fortune teller read my cards, and she said, "Next year your son will be married." And guess what, not long after that I persuaded him to get married, ha-ha... But with death ... it's another matter! After rambling, back to the rondeau. It's interesting and frightening!

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

---

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Thank you, Belinda - no Halloween - I did not know that. I'm glad this one scared you since Halloween poems are meant to be spooky. :-) Brooke

Comment from L.lora

Excellent

Oh Brooke, a spooky poem
for the spooky season in
a well executed form. The
words definitely share a
mude of gloom and doom (sorry
about the cliche' here) with
this well crafted verse. Most
enjoyable. :)Lora

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

---

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Thank you, Lora. I appreciate your thoughtful and encouraging comments :-) Brooke

Comment from fayesh

Excellent

A very nice rondeau with a dark message of dread and ominous outcome. You did a nice job finding the write rhymes to express your thoughts and create the right mood.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

---

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Thank you, Faye - glad you enjoyed this spooky story :-) Brooke

Comment from Rvaltaysesd

Excellent

But here I sit, my blood run cold
as I await.

This was as much as I like!
The poem charm me, is very good, the verse and rhyme, the depth and beauty, very good poem, greetings Rvaltaysesd

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

---

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Thank you, Rvaltaysesd - I appreciate your great comments :-) Brooke

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, Brooke. I think I like this poem.. just don't quite understand it?? I thought I did, now I don't. I would love for you to enlighten me..Is it a ghost sitting waiting for somebody? This line appears grammatically incorrect ...Is it, or is it just Bob...LOL..Bob

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

---

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Thanks, Bob - it's someone who went to a fortune teller, got freaked out about the predictions and now is anticipating and imagining her own death to the point she sees it unfolding in front of herself. You don't tell me which line you have a problem with. Brooke

reply by Mastery on 30-Oct-2009

Hey, Brooke...Please chill out. I meant no offense whatsoever....I just simply didn't understand the poem..If I had, I am not that crass...I would think you know me well enough to know that now..Please excuse my ignorance..

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

I don't understand your response at all - you said you didn't understand so I gave a brief, straightforward explanation - and then you said there was a line that might be ungrammatical but you did not say which line it was, so I said I didn't know which line you were referring to. I see nothing in my response which requires me to "chill out."

reply by Mastery on 30-Oct-2009

LOL...LOL...I am so very sorry, Brooke...I thought you said "don't tell a person who is dying about a sentence you don't like" LOL..I am so very sorry! Bob...LOL, Here are the ones I was talking about: "I hear the knell of death's bell tolled
as I my rotting corpse behold."

Again, complete misunderstanding I thought you were mad at me....(Won't blame you if you still are) Bob (with hat in hand)

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

That's OK, Bob :-) Nope, no problems at all, and thank goodness, nobody is dying - the story is all in Halloween fun :-) As for the two lines with the knelling bell, they seem fine to me. Don't know much what to say about them other than I don't see the ungrammatical part :-) Believe me, I'm not mad - I was a bit mystified before but now we have it all cleared up! :-) Brooke

reply by Mastery on 30-Oct-2009

Whew! I am so glad...Blame it on my senior moments....LOL...Bob

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Yesterday my wallet with all my ID, cash, credit cards, was missing for over an hour out of my purse before I could reconstruct the day before and figure out where I had left it - believe me, I understand senior moments!! :-)

reply by Mastery on 30-Oct-2009

I went to work out at the gym Monday where ai go four days a week...I went inside..worked out for an hour...couldn't find my car keys...I asked the guy at the desk if he saw them...He said no....I went outside to see if left them iin my car...Yes I did...and the engine was running...(all that time I worked out) Bob

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Perhaps we can book a double room at the old folks home and get the poet's discount! LOL

Comment from elainec4

Excellent

adewpearl,
Enjoyed this. Great example of horror or thriller poetry. I've been enticed by the Halloween poetry contest--but had no idea how to approach it. Thanks for sharing this. It's given me some ideas--maybe next year!! elaine

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

---

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Thank you, Elaine. :-) Glad you enjoyed this Halloween spooky stuff :-) Brooke

Comment from fictionwriter

Excellent

Does that mean you're a ghost watching over your body? If so I'd like to come where you are and see if you'll speak to me. Great job.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

---

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Joy, no, it's just a person with an overactive imagination who is foreseeing her own death because some fortuneteller scared her. LOL Thanks, my friend :-) Brooke

Comment from ArtGal

Excellent

I enjoy this poetry form! Still being in your Halloween mood scared me silly, actually gave me some goose bumps! Wow, your words at the end - "as I my rotting corpse behold. A mourner's tears from my eyes shed as I await." I actually got shivers, I enjoyed!

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

---

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

thank you, ArtGal - I'm so glad you like my use of this form - it is a gorgeous form that I'm being a bit silly with. I doubt anyone ever intended it for Halloween stories! LOL Brooke :-)

Comment from jaded831

Excellent

Being consumed by fear is sometimes worse than the event. Death is something that is out of our hands, if you worry about it, you can feel like a rotting corpse before you are one. Well done.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

---

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

You're so right - there's little that can happen to us that turns out worse than what we're capable of imagining. Thanks, Jaded. Brooke :-)