rondels and rondeaus
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "As Crowds Pass By"rondels and rondeaus
97 total reviews
Comment from KennyRogers
Hi there, Brooke, and many thanks for posting this poem - I do hope they don't disqualify it. If they do try, tell them I said "Free" means you're free to write what format you like. I know that may not be strictly accurate!! but I can't stand people who introduce facts into a darned good argument.
Seriously, this is a really great poem which explores the range of emotions that some street people experience in a very sensitive way.
Best wishes, Kenny
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Hi there, Brooke, and many thanks for posting this poem - I do hope they don't disqualify it. If they do try, tell them I said "Free" means you're free to write what format you like. I know that may not be strictly accurate!! but I can't stand people who introduce facts into a darned good argument.
Seriously, this is a really great poem which explores the range of emotions that some street people experience in a very sensitive way.
Best wishes, Kenny
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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I did not enter the contest - I just posted the poem outside of the contest! Thank you, Kenny :-)
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Hi Brooke. I hadn't come across the rondeau before. From your model it seems that the features of this format are that the first half of the first line is repeated as a chorus or echo at the end of second and third stanzas; all other lines are 8 syllables with a rhyme scheme of AABBA AAB AABBA. Could you let me know whether this is too specific a definition and if so, what variations are allowed. Many thanks in anticipation. Kenny
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you have the form right!
Comment from fictionwriter
All those that sneer may get their comeupance. Some of the homelss used to have everything the sneerer has, but circumstances can change. We're all God's children after all. WEll done as uusual.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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All those that sneer may get their comeupance. Some of the homelss used to have everything the sneerer has, but circumstances can change. We're all God's children after all. WEll done as uusual.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Yes, I know the stories of some of those people who used to have the middle class life, the house, the family - and yes, the person who sneers can be next. Thanks so much, Joy, for your insightful review. Brooke
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes very well done my friend and well written and said these people end up in these situation through no cause of their own sometimes it just what is dealt to them in life regards Fuller
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Yes very well done my friend and well written and said these people end up in these situation through no cause of their own sometimes it just what is dealt to them in life regards Fuller
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thank you, Fuller - I appreciate your kindness :-) Brooke
Comment from mermaids
The biggest problem in this country is loneliness as you well see in your volunteer work. All of us should pay attention to those who are alone and have no one. "I once had those who held me dear" is an important line. This poem could be about any one of us.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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The biggest problem in this country is loneliness as you well see in your volunteer work. All of us should pay attention to those who are alone and have no one. "I once had those who held me dear" is an important line. This poem could be about any one of us.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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One of the homeless people in the community I know died a year or two ago - his obituary appeared in the local paper - turns out he had a few grown children and an ex-wife even though I knew only his common law street wife, who, of course, the family failed to mention in the obit - they mentioned nothing of his years of homelessness - they wrote about his old career, his old hobbies, their old time together as if the final decade or so of his life never existed - seemed to me an odd time for them to accept him back into the fold. Thanks so much, Brooke
Comment from nora arjuna
I once had those who held me dear,
who kept me in their loving sphere,
till from their minds I was erased
i always wonder how could a family abandon one of their own up to this stage?
another great poem, brooke. it shows your caring heart. we start fasting today.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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I once had those who held me dear,
who kept me in their loving sphere,
till from their minds I was erased
i always wonder how could a family abandon one of their own up to this stage?
another great poem, brooke. it shows your caring heart. we start fasting today.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Nora, many families do - there was a woman who came to a program held at my church who was college-educated, articulate, but sadly mentally ill and unable to keep a job for more than a week - she could nail interviews and get jobs but then she annoyed the hell out of employers with her obsessive behaviors. Turns out she had grown up in the church's upscale neighborhood, but her own mother had thrown her out of their nice house because she annoyed the hell out of her mother, and then she lived a while with her adult son, but he too threw her out. I get that she was difficult, but it is still hard to conceive her own mother and son putting her out on the street - this, however, happens all the time. Another woman I met at the shelter had her husband abandon her for his secretary and then she had a heart attack and went to live with her adult daughter, but the son in law threatened to leave her daughter if Momma stayed, so she ended up on the street. The tales go on and on. Thank you, my friend. Brooke
Comment from IndianaIrish
You always amaze me with your never-ending talent with all types of poetry, Brooke. But whatever the form, I feel your best is when you champion the cause of people who need others to care and give a part of themselves. This is a excellent example...so powerful and meaningful.
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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You always amaze me with your never-ending talent with all types of poetry, Brooke. But whatever the form, I feel your best is when you champion the cause of people who need others to care and give a part of themselves. This is a excellent example...so powerful and meaningful.
Indy :>)
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thank you, Karyn - so many people have no real voice - it seems the natural thing to do :-) Brooke
Comment from perfectimperfection
Wow - this is a stunning piece. The poem elicits a very tangible sense of empathy, and I particularly like the flow of the first stanza - it lends itself well to the idea of an ever-moving crowd which strengthens the impact. A very melancholy and sincere look at a very lonely lifestyle - wonderful work.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Wow - this is a stunning piece. The poem elicits a very tangible sense of empathy, and I particularly like the flow of the first stanza - it lends itself well to the idea of an ever-moving crowd which strengthens the impact. A very melancholy and sincere look at a very lonely lifestyle - wonderful work.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Perfectimperfection - what a wonderful pen name! Thank you so much for your generous review and your most thoughtful comments. I truly appreciate your reading and reflecting on this poem. Brooke :-)
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Thankee - I rather like it! ^_^ As to the review, my pleasure - I take great pleasure indeed in reading such honest work.
Comment from Brindle.T
Oh, very good...Very good indeed. I liked every word...Very moving, eotive and real.
Commendable
Of course, five stars from me and if I had six, you'd have that too.
Tony
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Oh, very good...Very good indeed. I liked every word...Very moving, eotive and real.
Commendable
Of course, five stars from me and if I had six, you'd have that too.
Tony
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thank you, Tony - your generosity of spirit is most appreciated :-) Brooke
Comment from samuelbrody
Brooke... I offer no superlatives on this piece, except to say I wonder how your chest can contain such a hugely compassionate heart. On some of your poems, words are not meant to be written in review, but only to praise. Such is this one. Your artwork renders a soft heart even softer; a stone heart into a heart of flesh; and a selfish heart into one of philanthropy. You have captured the spirit of a people forgotten by a world full of people. God bless you. Michael.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Brooke... I offer no superlatives on this piece, except to say I wonder how your chest can contain such a hugely compassionate heart. On some of your poems, words are not meant to be written in review, but only to praise. Such is this one. Your artwork renders a soft heart even softer; a stone heart into a heart of flesh; and a selfish heart into one of philanthropy. You have captured the spirit of a people forgotten by a world full of people. God bless you. Michael.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Thank you, Michael - it is always so good to know that a reader has reflected on what my poem says and has felt it at the level I was aiming for. You're right - this is not the sort of piece where if I were reviewing I would start counting syllables to comment on. What is heard and felt is what is meaningful to both reader and poet. I so appreciate your review. Brooke :-)
Comment from Nicnac
This is heartbreaking, Brooke.
You have delved into the mind and heart of a lonely and distressed person and displayed those feelings in this moving poem.
How very sad, that there are those whose hearts are not pricked by the plight of the alone, downtrodden and destitute.
You've chosen a fitting photo for this piece.
Nic
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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This is heartbreaking, Brooke.
You have delved into the mind and heart of a lonely and distressed person and displayed those feelings in this moving poem.
How very sad, that there are those whose hearts are not pricked by the plight of the alone, downtrodden and destitute.
You've chosen a fitting photo for this piece.
Nic
Comment Written 21-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2009
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Nic, you would be surprised - even on this site when I have written about the homeless in the past, I have had reviews reminding me that some homeless people are con men out to make hundreds of dollars a day by begging so they can return at night to a fancy apartment. Thank you, Brooke
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You know, even if that is the case... it is still a very sad life. Compassion and empathy seems to be a rarity.
