Twelve Little Grains of Sparkly Sand
counting rhyme in 8/6/8/6 meter119 total reviews
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hello again Brooke
I never cease to be impressed with the superb ability you have to express your inner heart and paint pictures with words. I loved this poem and its feel. Have a superb week
Bear
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Hello again Brooke
I never cease to be impressed with the superb ability you have to express your inner heart and paint pictures with words. I loved this poem and its feel. Have a superb week
Bear
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Bear, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from boxergirl
Another great counting poem, Brooke.
Great imagery with the twelve grains of sand disappearing one by one and then I like the end where the gently lapping wave sweeps new grains to join the lonely one left. 8-)
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Another great counting poem, Brooke.
Great imagery with the twelve grains of sand disappearing one by one and then I like the end where the gently lapping wave sweeps new grains to join the lonely one left. 8-)
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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boxergirl, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from livelylinda
Brooke: imaginative with good rhyme and rhythm. I was curious as I read how you would come up with 12 ways for a grain of sand to disappear, and you did it! Fun read for little minds discovering numbers. Linda
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Brooke: imaginative with good rhyme and rhythm. I was curious as I read how you would come up with 12 ways for a grain of sand to disappear, and you did it! Fun read for little minds discovering numbers. Linda
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Linda, thank you so much for your generous six stars and thoughtful comments :-) Brooke
Comment from HeavenlyDreads
I don't think I can ever look at sand the same now. This poem was fun to read and I thoroughly enjoyed the personification of the grains of sand. I guess everything has a story to tell. Well done!
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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I don't think I can ever look at sand the same now. This poem was fun to read and I thoroughly enjoyed the personification of the grains of sand. I guess everything has a story to tell. Well done!
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Heavenly Dreads, thank you so much for your generous and thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from angelface2
Another great read, Brooke. The rhythm and rhymes being great, made it a smooth read! And the picture of Sawyer just tops it all off so nicely. thanks for sharing. Miss Sally
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Another great read, Brooke. The rhythm and rhymes being great, made it a smooth read! And the picture of Sawyer just tops it all off so nicely. thanks for sharing. Miss Sally
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much, Miss Sally :-) Brooke
Comment from Warren Rodgers
Brooke, What a terrific children's poem you have written here!
Excellent abcb rhyming in strong and steady 8/6 verse so appropriate for this type of poem. I loved reading about all the predicaments the grains got into and how they were resolved. Kids of all ages (like me) will enjoy reading your outstanding poem.
all the best,
Rodger
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Brooke, What a terrific children's poem you have written here!
Excellent abcb rhyming in strong and steady 8/6 verse so appropriate for this type of poem. I loved reading about all the predicaments the grains got into and how they were resolved. Kids of all ages (like me) will enjoy reading your outstanding poem.
all the best,
Rodger
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Rodger, thank you so much :-) I so appreciate your generous response and thoughtful comments, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from mermaids
Love the lines about the starfish and the castle. This is a great poem for this time of year,you take me away from the cold and winter. Your counting poem is unique and fun to read. Excellent use of words and vivid images are created.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Love the lines about the starfish and the castle. This is a great poem for this time of year,you take me away from the cold and winter. Your counting poem is unique and fun to read. Excellent use of words and vivid images are created.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much, Elaine :-) Brooke
Comment from DR DIP
Another "10 green bottles poem"..you like these hey? you've done a few of them over the years I've been here. I do like them but we will always have disagreement over proximate rhyme when there is an alternative for perfect rhyme and obviously ego and stubboness and pride will never change you lol
What about, just for dippy, change the last verse to:
One little grain of sand
alone and nowhere else to roam
then a gently lapping wave
swept new grains toward his home.
Four little grains remained below
where toes trod on each head
one tried to duck to miss each blow
but squished 'tween toes instead.
or is that sacrificing your favourite syllabic count and
Iambic techno meter?
its one for the book either way you anal little woman you!!! lol
xdip
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Another "10 green bottles poem"..you like these hey? you've done a few of them over the years I've been here. I do like them but we will always have disagreement over proximate rhyme when there is an alternative for perfect rhyme and obviously ego and stubboness and pride will never change you lol
What about, just for dippy, change the last verse to:
One little grain of sand
alone and nowhere else to roam
then a gently lapping wave
swept new grains toward his home.
Four little grains remained below
where toes trod on each head
one tried to duck to miss each blow
but squished 'tween toes instead.
or is that sacrificing your favourite syllabic count and
Iambic techno meter?
its one for the book either way you anal little woman you!!! lol
xdip
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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dip, thank you :-) sending you smiles for your persistence :-) Brooke
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and that's all it will be..persistence but no success lol
xxdip
Comment from Aussie
Wot a sweet poem for Sawyer. Wonderful how you keep count as each grain of sand returns to the sea. Unfortunately, they get caught up with plastic, oil, and rubbish from humans. I can remember (albeit many moons ago) wriggling toes in the silica sands of home. Well done Mrs Grainy.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Wot a sweet poem for Sawyer. Wonderful how you keep count as each grain of sand returns to the sea. Unfortunately, they get caught up with plastic, oil, and rubbish from humans. I can remember (albeit many moons ago) wriggling toes in the silica sands of home. Well done Mrs Grainy.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much, Kay - so glad you liked it :-) Yeah, no oil and rubbish in this poem. Kids can get a few years older before they have to deal with those realities :-) Brooke
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Long ago, shopping was brought home in paper bags (America does)we are trying to get rid of the millions of plastic bags that kill the sea and its inhabitants, like the majestic turtle who eats it and then cannot dive. :-{
Comment from lancellot
I really like your count down poems, if that is the correct term for them. Does it always have to begin with ten, or is that your choice? Very nice.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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I really like your count down poems, if that is the correct term for them. Does it always have to begin with ten, or is that your choice? Very nice.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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I don't know as if there is a correct term :-) And there certainly aren't any rules LOL - I could start with 4 or 27 if I wanted to :-) Thanks so much, Lancellot Brooke
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That sounds like a great contest. How high can you go?
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LOL - Twelve is a pretty high number already considering you have to come up with clever ways to get ride of one whatever in each verse - it's really really hard to come up with reasons that are somewhat reasonable and also fun and varied :-)
