If I Had Eyes
quatrains in abab rhyme190 total reviews
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good use of the abab rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good alliteration secrets/soul...times/tears...wonder/would/within...sacred/space...spacious/skies. Good flow due to unforced rhymes. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
Good use of the abab rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good alliteration secrets/soul...times/tears...wonder/would/within...sacred/space...spacious/skies. Good flow due to unforced rhymes. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
-
Thanks so much, RR :-) Brooke
Comment from Caressa_08
A very telling & touching poem that rhymes beautifully. And a appropriate picture, with a handsome pet whose eyes are staring, as in deep thought. Potato, a cat with that name, just has to have a poem.
Caressa
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
A very telling & touching poem that rhymes beautifully. And a appropriate picture, with a handsome pet whose eyes are staring, as in deep thought. Potato, a cat with that name, just has to have a poem.
Caressa
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
-
Caressa, thank you so very much for your generous and gracious response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Brooke,
An interesting poem to ponder.
A magazine once printed two drawings of the same man. The first showed the way he thought the world saw him. The seconded displayed how the world really saw him. The difference was scary!
Good luck in the contest.
Ron x
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
Hi Brooke,
An interesting poem to ponder.
A magazine once printed two drawings of the same man. The first showed the way he thought the world saw him. The seconded displayed how the world really saw him. The difference was scary!
Good luck in the contest.
Ron x
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
-
Thanks so much, Ron :-) Brooke
Comment from Leineco
I read this one yesterday, and it kept coming back to me -
especially the lines
just where in there would I reside?
How prized would be my part?
In addition to being such a well written poem, I wanted
to let you know, it also struck a deep chord. Its funny,
how even when we are clearly and obviously loved, we
still can't help but wonder, just exactly which throne
room we inhabit in the minds of the ones who love us.
Great write!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
I read this one yesterday, and it kept coming back to me -
especially the lines
just where in there would I reside?
How prized would be my part?
In addition to being such a well written poem, I wanted
to let you know, it also struck a deep chord. Its funny,
how even when we are clearly and obviously loved, we
still can't help but wonder, just exactly which throne
room we inhabit in the minds of the ones who love us.
Great write!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
-
I am honored that you thought this over and then returned to it - so many people just skim read posts. I also appreciate your generous sixth star :-) Thank you, Leineco. Brooke
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Such a lovely poem. You are such a talented writer.
What's not to love about a cat named Potato! It is indeed a stunning photo, but then, I am a cat person. Because Potato's picture looms large, I read this poem with him in mind. The last four lines seem as if they're coming from his point of view. (Maybe I'm crazy!)
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
Such a lovely poem. You are such a talented writer.
What's not to love about a cat named Potato! It is indeed a stunning photo, but then, I am a cat person. Because Potato's picture looms large, I read this poem with him in mind. The last four lines seem as if they're coming from his point of view. (Maybe I'm crazy!)
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
-
Thanks so much, Green Lake Girl. I only used Potato's eyes as my inspiration, but hey, if that's what it made you think, it's okay by me :-) Brooke
-
Thanks for understanding my "take" on your poem. After I wrote the review, I thought, you might think I was "touched"!
Comment from Zue65
You made me squirm with delight in this poem as you express your deep love and devotion to your beloved as you seek his assurance too of a love just like yours. I am really a sucker for romance and your poem satisfied my hunger. Truly an excellent write. God bless.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
You made me squirm with delight in this poem as you express your deep love and devotion to your beloved as you seek his assurance too of a love just like yours. I am really a sucker for romance and your poem satisfied my hunger. Truly an excellent write. God bless.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
-
nassus, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from Aussie
Sure is a stunning photo of Potato (spud.) Such a cool dude. You deserve to win this contest; atmospheric and holds a great story within your quatrains. Pity you can't have a cat. Neither can I. Potato must be very patient with Sawyer? Good luck with this contest entry. :-)
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
Sure is a stunning photo of Potato (spud.) Such a cool dude. You deserve to win this contest; atmospheric and holds a great story within your quatrains. Pity you can't have a cat. Neither can I. Potato must be very patient with Sawyer? Good luck with this contest entry. :-)
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
-
Kay, thank you so very much, my friend, for your generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from McMurry903
This is magnificent, Brooke! I love this thought provoking piece and the questions within really draw in the reader. Perfect ABAB rhyme scheme. A wonderful entry in this contest and I wish you the best of luck!
Brian
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
This is magnificent, Brooke! I love this thought provoking piece and the questions within really draw in the reader. Perfect ABAB rhyme scheme. A wonderful entry in this contest and I wish you the best of luck!
Brian
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
-
Brian, thank you so much for your kind contest wishes and generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from poetbear
I like the personification and the feeling.
Has depth and a special soul.
Great photo.
Well written.
Reads well and makes sense.
Creative take.
Great work.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
I like the personification and the feeling.
Has depth and a special soul.
Great photo.
Well written.
Reads well and makes sense.
Creative take.
Great work.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
-
Maddy, thank you so very much, my friend :-) I so appreciate your graciousness and generosity :-) Brooke
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hands off my ABAB contest, you! I think I've won the last two, so one more and I'll own it for good! That's my theory anyway...
This is a lovely piece with your usual great flow of meter and sweet full rhymes. And also as usual, there is a significant message there for the reader who cares to think about it - this time you not only have a kind of love/friendship poem, but you also rise the question of how much we ever know of what another is thinking.
Good luck, but not too much!
Steve
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
Hands off my ABAB contest, you! I think I've won the last two, so one more and I'll own it for good! That's my theory anyway...
This is a lovely piece with your usual great flow of meter and sweet full rhymes. And also as usual, there is a significant message there for the reader who cares to think about it - this time you not only have a kind of love/friendship poem, but you also rise the question of how much we ever know of what another is thinking.
Good luck, but not too much!
Steve
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
-
The last time I won a contest twice in a row, the blank verse contest, they stopped running it. LOL Thanks so much, Steve. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and your humor :-) Brooke