Comment from Debra White

Excellent

Hi Steve, I love this! Your rhyme scheme is perfect and you adhere to the rules of the contest nicely whilst throwing in your trademark humour, it makes for a fun and informative read. Brilliant! Great notes too, thanks :) good luck in the voting booth :) kind regards, debra

 Comment Written 28-May-2014

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reply by the author on 29-May-2014

Debra, thanks so much for the kind words and good luck wishes.

Steve

Comment from sgalletti

Excellent

Love this double whitney Stevie. Great humor, which you know I enjoy. Good syllable count and fun different approaches to the same subject in the two stanzas. Enjoyed the rhyme scheme. Good luck! Sue

 Comment Written 28-May-2014

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reply by the author on 29-May-2014

Thanks, Sue.

Just a piece of fun which the form seemed to call for.

Steve

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

And Benjamin Franklin pushed for the turkey as our national bird. Really in the wild, noble beasts but it sure would have made Thanksgiving a bit weird. Fun, whimsical facts about the Kiwi- such a timid bird. Always at the zoo, stopped at it's enclosure lit by an infrared light and I never saw it. The humor to the piece is brought to the fore with the knowledge that it is your national symbol.

 Comment Written 28-May-2014

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reply by the author on 29-May-2014

There are lots of wild turkeys round here so it would be kinda weird to think that they were your national symbol.

Yes, kiwis are notoriously difficult to spot - there are probably many New Zealanders who have never seen one.

Thanks for stopping by.

Steve

Comment from N.K. Wagner

Exceptional

Your exposition on the kiwi bird (Your national symbol? Hmmm. That says something, but I'm not quite sure what) still has me giggling in off moments. To Mrs. Kiwi, I say, "Ouch!" To you, I say, "Outstanding, sir!" :D Nancy

 Comment Written 28-May-2014

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reply by the author on 29-May-2014

Thanks, Nancy.

It would make a great thesis for somebody - the national symbols that countries choose. The kiwi does seem appropriate for us in a weird kind of way.

Steve

Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER

Excellent

Consider:
"for probing though it's flightless. Suggestion only.

Love the cartoon. Really added to the poem's panache. Well crafted and presented.

Regards:

 Comment Written 28-May-2014

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reply by the author on 29-May-2014

Thanks, Stephen.

Steve

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Steve, remarkably witty, inventive and creative which is used off your resources to think of something so humorous and greatly funny. The picture is marvelous and definitely complement your poem so much. Good luck in the Whitney poem contest for this is excellent contender to win. Thank you for sharing and posting this for others and may the Lord be with you always.
Alex

 Comment Written 28-May-2014

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reply by the author on 29-May-2014

Alex, thanks as always for your kind words.

Steve

reply by krys123 on 29-May-2014

You are so sincerely welcome Steve

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

A great use of the Whitney! It is a form that lends itself well to humour! I learnt some interesting facts about the kiwi here, both from your poem and from the author notes. You have chosen a better rhyme scheme than most, which suits your poem to a T.

 Comment Written 28-May-2014

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reply by the author on 29-May-2014

Thank you! I decided to go the humorous route after reading adewpearl's entry - yes, it seems ideally suited for this purpose.

Steve

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

This is simply a wonderfully fun read. The construction is perfect and you have met all the contest requirements beautifully. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.

 Comment Written 28-May-2014

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reply by the author on 30-May-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Thanks for the enjoyable poem and history lesson on the Kiwi bird. I guess it wouldn't be a good idea to plan breakfast with a three Kiwi-egg omelet? Great job :-)

 Comment Written 28-May-2014

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reply by the author on 30-May-2014

Gasp! Sacrilege to even think of eating kiwi eggs! But, yeah, it would overflow the pan!

Steve

Comment from acerisestory

Exceptional

I love your Double Rhyming Whitney. Since I am reasonably new to FS and to writing poetry, I'd never heard of this type of poetry. Looks like you followed all the guidelines, and it's educational and funny, to boot! Thus a six. Good luck with the contest. Alana

 Comment Written 28-May-2014

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reply by the author on 30-May-2014

Alana, thanks for the great review and the six stars.

Yep, they're always throwing new forms at you here, most of which I've never heard of even though I was an English teacher.

This was quite a fun one to work around and seems suited for the light-hearted treatment I gave it.

Steve