Reviews from

Steve's Story-Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Me and Spiggo-Thingo"
A collection of my poems

83 total reviews 
Comment from chasennov
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

'Me And Spiggo-Thingo.' This is an excellent attempt at Humor poetry. The structure is quite sound, and the formulation very good. Well done.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
    Thank you!

    Steve
reply by chasennov on 08-Jan-2014
    Welcome.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I just like this due to its 'strordinary' humor. Nice job on getting a Spygmomanometer to take on a name and extended metaphor as a dinosaur of sorts. So funny, thanks for brightening my day.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
    Thanks so much for the kind words and the six stars - glad you enjoyed.

    Steve
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very well done indeed. I love the rhymes - the whole thing reads so well, and the way you incorporated all those diseases was really clever.

A couple of little things:

But then they fill them up with folk whose orifices (are) streaming

The shook her head and tapped the glass- Then


Av

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
    Thanks for the review and the sharp eye, Av - Glad you enjoyed.

    Steve
Comment from DionysusDeVille
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Lol this was hilarious, but so true. Hospitals are very clean but so full of disease you're almost afraid to touch anything, so it's like "stay away" lol

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from Just Pete
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a great read. The language is real and the rhyme perfect. I think there's nothing better than good humour and this is exceptional. Congratulations on the two awards - both well deserved. A great start to my day.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
    Thanks, Pete

    reviewers who tell me they laughed are always welcome and the six stars aint bad either.

    Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your print is too small to read comfortably, steve.

"THE shook her head and tapped the glass and swirled it round and round." THEN

"'strordinary vigour." LOL! Well done!

That was terrific rhyming and dead on rhythm. I really enjoyed the story. Glad you discovered the problem before it took you, steve. Take your pill regularly. I look forward to many more of these. In larger print, though.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
    Sorry about the problem with print size - smaller than my usual because I was trying to keep the longer lines on one line.

    Thanks for reviewing and glad you enjoyed....

    Steve
Comment from elchupakabra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The shook her - Then shook her

I thought that this piece was excellent. I think we all cringe a little at having to go to the doctors, at least I know I do. Most of the time their answer is pills, so I don't exactly trust most doctors either. Anyways, this piece flowed perfectly, made fantastic use of assonances and was a fun read overall so thanks for sharing :)



 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
    Thanks for the review and the shary eye for a typo! Glad you enjoyed.

    Steve
reply by elchupakabra on 09-Jan-2014
    Np. Whenever you get a chance, please check out chapter 23 of my script the Change. It's titled Going Home and is currently being promoted on the first page :)
Comment from Glasstruth
Excellent
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Glad your hypertension is under control. Your story told in iambic meter is just amazing. It's very entertaining. The rhyming is perfect. Love the title, that alone got me interested. Give it a thumb-wagging thumbs up! Les

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
    Thanks, Les.

    Steve
Comment from AudreyRose
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was an adorable and funny poem :-) The beat was smooth and even, the rhymes were all spot on.
2 things I noticed-
"whose orifices [are] streaming"- should this have the word are in it?
diarrh[o]ea; - no "o" in this word
you did great job!

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
    Hi and thank you for the great review - glad you enjoyed my bit of humour!

    Steve
Comment from Keturah Martin
Excellent
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This is quite an exaggerated masterpiece with good rhyme and rhythm. It holds the attention of the reader and uses good description. Keep up the good work and don't get too engulfed in clinics and bacteria.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
    Thanks, Keturah

    Steve