Surcease
a mirage poem168 total reviews
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have handled this style/format skillfully. The repeat lines are especially meaningful and well-written. Yes, silence can say so much!
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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You have handled this style/format skillfully. The repeat lines are especially meaningful and well-written. Yes, silence can say so much!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Janice, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from Norbanus
Delightful how you've shown this path in song,
and guided us from dawn to end of day.
A joyous time awaits, but not too long.
Surcease awaits its chance along the way.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Delightful how you've shown this path in song,
and guided us from dawn to end of day.
A joyous time awaits, but not too long.
Surcease awaits its chance along the way.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Thank you, Norbanus, for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Alexander E Poet
Beautiful imagery flowing verse, great description of the hush, love that. good feelings Your verse came good picture Excellent imagery excellent conclusion this is really another great piece by you a wonderful job with this piece. brilliant, No typo's and nothing to change as far as i can see.Alexander Q*Q
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Beautiful imagery flowing verse, great description of the hush, love that. good feelings Your verse came good picture Excellent imagery excellent conclusion this is really another great piece by you a wonderful job with this piece. brilliant, No typo's and nothing to change as far as i can see.Alexander Q*Q
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Alexander, thank you so much for your gracious comments and your generous exceptional rating :-) Brooke
Comment from Earl of Oxford
Excellent use of the rarely used 1st syllable in each line emphasis 'trochaic' meter, Brooke.
Being dim, I admit to looking up 'surcease' to find it means the same as 'cease'.
As you subtly infer, sometimes it's best to say nothing (I should know, LOL) - at least that's my interpretation from your thoughtful and more serious than usual poem from you.
Best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Excellent use of the rarely used 1st syllable in each line emphasis 'trochaic' meter, Brooke.
Being dim, I admit to looking up 'surcease' to find it means the same as 'cease'.
As you subtly infer, sometimes it's best to say nothing (I should know, LOL) - at least that's my interpretation from your thoughtful and more serious than usual poem from you.
Best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Yep, that's the interpretation I intended, Ray :-) Thank you for your thoughtful reading of this poem :-) Brooke
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Our exchange has gone mising here, Brooke, but at least we both know how we feel. xx
Comment from fayesh
Brook, I think this is a lovely poem about silence and the depth of meaning that comes from it. There is a loveliness in just being quiet and taking in life.
Your rhyme pattern was beautifully done.
Take care, Faye :)
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Brook, I think this is a lovely poem about silence and the depth of meaning that comes from it. There is a loveliness in just being quiet and taking in life.
Your rhyme pattern was beautifully done.
Take care, Faye :)
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Faye, thank you so much for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from 9999pool
Good write on surcease in a mirage poem of repeating lines. The syllable count can be a bit tricky but the poem came out unscarthed and not tarnished by the rules. Reads well and with a good message.
Great work.
Cheers, Ritchie.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Good write on surcease in a mirage poem of repeating lines. The syllable count can be a bit tricky but the poem came out unscarthed and not tarnished by the rules. Reads well and with a good message.
Great work.
Cheers, Ritchie.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Ritchie, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
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Welcome, cheers, Ritchie.
Comment from rjuselius
this is a fine piece of poetry! i get again would call it exquisite but i think this isn't your best poem. i do adore you though!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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this is a fine piece of poetry! i get again would call it exquisite but i think this isn't your best poem. i do adore you though!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Thank you, Rebekka, for your thoughtful feedback :-) Brooke
Comment from DBastian
I do love your thoughts about silence and just enjoying the moment. So often we feel like we have to explain a sensation that explains itself. You just have to experience it and then realize words cannot describe this ethereal moment. You did a great job of saying that.
And, it is something that must be physically experienced with another .. what a kinship when this poem comes alive for both of yous.
Db
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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I do love your thoughts about silence and just enjoying the moment. So often we feel like we have to explain a sensation that explains itself. You just have to experience it and then realize words cannot describe this ethereal moment. You did a great job of saying that.
And, it is something that must be physically experienced with another .. what a kinship when this poem comes alive for both of yous.
Db
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Thank you, DB, for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Tonulak
Dear Brooke,
You've played with this form like a kind of discovered check, removing sounds to make quiet. Nice internal rhyme and consonance with the "sh" sound, also inviting the "Shhhhhh" of silence. Nicely done--Tedf
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Dear Brooke,
You've played with this form like a kind of discovered check, removing sounds to make quiet. Nice internal rhyme and consonance with the "sh" sound, also inviting the "Shhhhhh" of silence. Nicely done--Tedf
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Thank you, Ted, for your thoughtful review :-)Brooke
Comment from Deborah Marie
Another lovely Mirage poem. I'm still trying to write one to incorporate into my weight loss journey poem book and my new one; Celebration of Love - Love surely is grand... Beautiful photo and well presented. Loved it all around, Deb
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Another lovely Mirage poem. I'm still trying to write one to incorporate into my weight loss journey poem book and my new one; Celebration of Love - Love surely is grand... Beautiful photo and well presented. Loved it all around, Deb
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2013
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Deb, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
