Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Chapter 9; part two"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
53 total reviews
Comment from Alaskastory
The relationship between Leya and Steven thickens and the romance progresses. Well written!
Little suggestions:
No comma needed: '..swimming nude, was one...'
Need period; should spell out okay: 'He didn't like admitting it but did(.), "OK(Okay)..'
Complete sentence with no commas: 'They sat silently for a few minutes,() before Leya spoke,(.)
Did Leya say this? --'"Seriously?"' Should be new paragraph?
Good story, Barbara
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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The relationship between Leya and Steven thickens and the romance progresses. Well written!
Little suggestions:
No comma needed: '..swimming nude, was one...'
Need period; should spell out okay: 'He didn't like admitting it but did(.), "OK(Okay)..'
Complete sentence with no commas: 'They sat silently for a few minutes,() before Leya spoke,(.)
Did Leya say this? --'"Seriously?"' Should be new paragraph?
Good story, Barbara
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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I will take care of them. Thank you for catching them. I changed a few things and forgot to totally edit.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
In a way I wish that Stephen and Leya would just stop playing games and admit that they love each other.
They are definitely heading in that direction, but both seem reticint to admit their real feelings.
Juliette
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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In a way I wish that Stephen and Leya would just stop playing games and admit that they love each other.
They are definitely heading in that direction, but both seem reticint to admit their real feelings.
Juliette
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from Arkine
Good that she's doing better. I wonder if they will be together by the end of this? Though, I doubt most of her family would take her back and hopefully, her would-be husband will be in prison. Great chapter! No nits. :)
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Good that she's doing better. I wonder if they will be together by the end of this? Though, I doubt most of her family would take her back and hopefully, her would-be husband will be in prison. Great chapter! No nits. :)
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
It was worth the wait for your next chapter of "tantalizing Eyes." These two are so in love a blind person could sense it. I love the verbal banter when she tease him about a crocheted bathing suit. I kept thinking kiss her Steven. But she's still recovering from yellow fever. I have a feeling mean old Peggy will be popping up to try and sabotage Leya and Steven. But I wouldn't begrudge the reader a villain. Try and post your next one before the weekends over. As always excellent dialogue and descriptive scheme.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Barbara,
It was worth the wait for your next chapter of "tantalizing Eyes." These two are so in love a blind person could sense it. I love the verbal banter when she tease him about a crocheted bathing suit. I kept thinking kiss her Steven. But she's still recovering from yellow fever. I have a feeling mean old Peggy will be popping up to try and sabotage Leya and Steven. But I wouldn't begrudge the reader a villain. Try and post your next one before the weekends over. As always excellent dialogue and descriptive scheme.
Melissa.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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I wrote you a long reply, I guess I forgot to send it. Anyway, Thank you for your review.
Comment from RebelRose
I'd never come in your room (though) a window ... through
Also the same in the next line.
I love the banter between Steven and Leya, like real lovers. They are definitely on the road to admission of true love. Loved this chapter.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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I'd never come in your room (though) a window ... through
Also the same in the next line.
I love the banter between Steven and Leya, like real lovers. They are definitely on the road to admission of true love. Loved this chapter.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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I have it taken care of. Thank you for catching them. You are the only one who did.
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Sometimes when you're reading along and you know what something is 'supposed' to say, that's what your mind's eye thinks it's seeing. That's why it's hard to correct your own work. I'm sure that was the case with everyone else who read this chapter. I'm surprised I caught it.
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Happens to me all the time and I hate it. I want a super clean post.
Comment from Begin Again
Barbara
Another great chapter of showing Steven and Leya being drawn to each other. Very enjoyable and an easy read. Nice job!
Carol
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Barbara
Another great chapter of showing Steven and Leya being drawn to each other. Very enjoyable and an easy read. Nice job!
Carol
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
Good chapter, it looks like Stephen and Leya are finally getting things worked out, but no sign of Peggy this time round, or am I missing something...
Well put together and enjoyable. Dialogues are, as usual, good, and descriptions coming on.
Patrick
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Hi Barbara,
Good chapter, it looks like Stephen and Leya are finally getting things worked out, but no sign of Peggy this time round, or am I missing something...
Well put together and enjoyable. Dialogues are, as usual, good, and descriptions coming on.
Patrick
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Peggy will show up again in my next post. We are not finished with her yet. Thank you for reading and writing a review.
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I'll look forward to it Barbara. Pat
Comment from lola29
Barbara, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this chapter. It is so inspiring to know that a man can love a woman that much. I'm totally in love with Steven. You have written his character brilliantly.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Barbara, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this chapter. It is so inspiring to know that a man can love a woman that much. I'm totally in love with Steven. You have written his character brilliantly.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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I have a few other fans that you may have to fight off. I'm partcial to Matt, myself. I know, why can't men behave the our heros do. Maybe that's why women like romance novels so much???
Comment from adewpearl
Oh, why the hell doesn't he just kiss the woman and tell her he loves her? LOL I sure know how much he wants to hug her while she's in that crocheted bikini!! :-) They're so cute together. Excellent dialogue that shows the push and pull of their impulses. Brooke
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Oh, why the hell doesn't he just kiss the woman and tell her he loves her? LOL I sure know how much he wants to hug her while she's in that crocheted bikini!! :-) They're so cute together. Excellent dialogue that shows the push and pull of their impulses. Brooke
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Thank you so much for your review. I appreciate a writer of your caliber taking time to read my post.
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Hey, I'm hooked on this romance :-)
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
The beautiful description and crispy dialogues make this story very enjoyable to read.
"A penny for your thoughts."
"Nothing. I'm getting drowsy." [ A nice writing style as well]
Overall, like it
K
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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The beautiful description and crispy dialogues make this story very enjoyable to read.
"A penny for your thoughts."
"Nothing. I'm getting drowsy." [ A nice writing style as well]
Overall, like it
K
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
