(unapologetic lives) senryu
satiric senryu84 total reviews
Comment from Jnetgame
Great senyru. I try very hard to live my life so that I don't have to apologize; does this include making mistakes? No one's perfect. Thanks for sharing this.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Great senyru. I try very hard to live my life so that I don't have to apologize; does this include making mistakes? No one's perfect. Thanks for sharing this.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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I also try hard, but slip ups just seem to happen, and then plan B comes into good use :-) Thank you. Brooke :-)
Comment from words
Delightful!
I absolutely agree:
God guides us to lead
unapologetic lives
And, yes, I also have to resort to:
sorry's my plan B
I have dedicated my life to "doing no harm"...it is surprising how often I have to resort to plan "B".
But, I am getting better...much better....Loved your verse.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Delightful!
I absolutely agree:
God guides us to lead
unapologetic lives
And, yes, I also have to resort to:
sorry's my plan B
I have dedicated my life to "doing no harm"...it is surprising how often I have to resort to plan "B".
But, I am getting better...much better....Loved your verse.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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I think I've gotten better over the years too, but I don't know as if I'll ever reach the day Plan B can just be discarded! :-) Thanks so much. Brooke :-)
Comment from Aussie
"Be still and know that I am God and you are not." I guess we apologise and say sorry when we offend someone or their beliefs. In three lines you have written your life plan and that is amazing in itself. Our Prime Minister finally said 'sorry' to the aboriginal people after two hundred years of killing, stealing their land and making them slaves. I for one do not agree with this - too little, too late. They are treated like the American Indians - stuck on reservations, given hand-outs and food that makes them sick and they have a white man's passion for drink and the children are petrol sniffing at age five. What has saying 'sorry' done? Right the wrongs with giving them back their tribal lands and leave them be in peace. Of course it will not happen; greed over need. I liked your little poem so much.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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"Be still and know that I am God and you are not." I guess we apologise and say sorry when we offend someone or their beliefs. In three lines you have written your life plan and that is amazing in itself. Our Prime Minister finally said 'sorry' to the aboriginal people after two hundred years of killing, stealing their land and making them slaves. I for one do not agree with this - too little, too late. They are treated like the American Indians - stuck on reservations, given hand-outs and food that makes them sick and they have a white man's passion for drink and the children are petrol sniffing at age five. What has saying 'sorry' done? Right the wrongs with giving them back their tribal lands and leave them be in peace. Of course it will not happen; greed over need. I liked your little poem so much.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Kay, thank you so much!! I agree that in some cases sorry is just not nearly enough. One can't be totally inhumane over generations and then think it can all be smoothed over with a tiny gesture - sorry needs to be accompanied by meaningful actions to improve the lives of those whose lives the government has destroyed. I appreciate your most thoughtful response to my poem more than you can know. Brooke :-)
Comment from NightWriter
There you go again, teaching me something new about the senryu poems, LOL. No wonder they are harder to review, being so closely related to the haiku. "(unapologetic lives) senryu" is a wonderfully written senryu poem. It captures the humorous tone nicely. Well done! I believe as humans, many refer to plan B. :)
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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There you go again, teaching me something new about the senryu poems, LOL. No wonder they are harder to review, being so closely related to the haiku. "(unapologetic lives) senryu" is a wonderfully written senryu poem. It captures the humorous tone nicely. Well done! I believe as humans, many refer to plan B. :)
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much for this positive and encouraging review :-) Brooke
Comment from c_lucas
As your visiting preacher why pencils have erasers on it. If God expected us to be perfect, the pencil would not have an eraser on it. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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As your visiting preacher why pencils have erasers on it. If God expected us to be perfect, the pencil would not have an eraser on it. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Charlie, I think he was just talking about what to aspire to, not what he expected everyone to magically attain :-) Thanks, Brooke :-)
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Upi're welcome, Brook. Charlie
Comment from perunest
I agree - I can't walk through life that carefully!
At lweast I know I won't be doing anything real
damaging. Besides, saying "sorry" is part of being human,
living passionately, and with gusto! (Which I think is part of The Plan.)
I love your poem, and "Plan B." Carolyn
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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I agree - I can't walk through life that carefully!
At lweast I know I won't be doing anything real
damaging. Besides, saying "sorry" is part of being human,
living passionately, and with gusto! (Which I think is part of The Plan.)
I love your poem, and "Plan B." Carolyn
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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Thanks so much, Carolyn, for totally "getting" this poem and the spirit in which it was written :-) Brooke
Comment from Janelle
This is great my friend I can soooo relate to the satirical last line, Plan B seems to be the plan most often used by so many of us.
I have never attempted this genre of poetry, way to hard on the brain matter, so I admire anyone who comes up with a strong message that fits within the fairly strict guidelines, especially when it is a good as this. You are one talented poet my friend! Good luck in the contest. Regards, Jan
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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This is great my friend I can soooo relate to the satirical last line, Plan B seems to be the plan most often used by so many of us.
I have never attempted this genre of poetry, way to hard on the brain matter, so I admire anyone who comes up with a strong message that fits within the fairly strict guidelines, especially when it is a good as this. You are one talented poet my friend! Good luck in the contest. Regards, Jan
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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Jan, thank you. and I'm flattered that you confused me with Roisin, one of my favorite writers! LOL I am not one who writes senryu either, so I was happy just to manage one at all. Brooke :-)
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Oh geeees Brooke, I realised what I'd done about two seconds after I pressed send and went straight back in and changed it but you were too quick for me! I was hoping that you wouldn't even know I'd done it!
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Roisin is also one of my favourite poets, as are you. Old age is a terrible thing! (As can be seen by the fact that this reply had come in two parrts.!!! Need another Nanna nap I think and it's only 10:10 am here!!!!
Comment from Freeflyer
Yes well, we can pray that plan A works all of the time but yor plan B is one we can all heed if things go wrong. For so few words the message is pretty powerful. No nits to pick and good luck in the competition.
Freeflyer
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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Yes well, we can pray that plan A works all of the time but yor plan B is one we can all heed if things go wrong. For so few words the message is pretty powerful. No nits to pick and good luck in the competition.
Freeflyer
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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Freeflyer, thank you - yes, somehow I've had plan A fail on me more times than I'd like to admit in the course of a lifetime. Brooke :-)
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Ditto!
Comment from Mike K2
Too many people are like that and I don't agree one bit. Sorry is my plan A and one thing for sure is, right of the bat, you find the SOB's.
I did enjoy this and it did achieve its goal of contemplation.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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Too many people are like that and I don't agree one bit. Sorry is my plan A and one thing for sure is, right of the bat, you find the SOB's.
I did enjoy this and it did achieve its goal of contemplation.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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Thanks, Mike, for your positive review. Brooke
Comment from dihardest
I close my FanStory day with my reading of your Senryu. Without apology, I award my first six star rating for the week. Simply superb. I could laugh; I could cry. You evoke both.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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I close my FanStory day with my reading of your Senryu. Without apology, I award my first six star rating for the week. Simply superb. I could laugh; I could cry. You evoke both.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much, and a good evening to you as you close your FS day, something I'm about to do soon, too. Your generous response to my senryu is a great way to start the evening!!! Brooke :-)
