cinquains
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Motherless Child"cinquain poetry
88 total reviews
Comment from Lindsay Martinelli
This was very short but effective. I liked your poem very much. Thank you for sharing it. Was there any special design you followed. Or was this all just from your soul?
Thanks,
Linzy
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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This was very short but effective. I liked your poem very much. Thank you for sharing it. Was there any special design you followed. Or was this all just from your soul?
Thanks,
Linzy
Comment Written 24-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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The design is the form called a cinquain 2/4/6/8/2 syllables with a significant sixth line formed by the title. Thank you, Brooke :-)
Comment from Carol D Parker
This means so much to me. My mom died a year and a half ago. I close my eyes and see her face. I miss her so much. We talked on the phone every day. You know I can't review this poem. But as always I am touched by it. Thank you
Carol
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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This means so much to me. My mom died a year and a half ago. I close my eyes and see her face. I miss her so much. We talked on the phone every day. You know I can't review this poem. But as always I am touched by it. Thank you
Carol
Comment Written 24-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Carol, thank you for sharing that with me - my biggest goal with my poetry is to connect with people on a human level - that is so much more important than getting all the syllables right. Brooke
Comment from Jazh
This is a beautiful poem, Brooke. It really made me ache with you. It flows smoothly and says what you want it to say - your mother would love it as a tribute to how you feel. People aren't really gone while you still miss them. :)
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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This is a beautiful poem, Brooke. It really made me ache with you. It flows smoothly and says what you want it to say - your mother would love it as a tribute to how you feel. People aren't really gone while you still miss them. :)
Comment Written 24-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Believe me, at times like my wedding, the birth of my babies, my graduations, she felt really gone. :-) I know there is the whole spiritual connection thing, and I truly believe in it, but when everyone else on the maternity ward is getting visits from their moms, she was gone. Brooke :-)
Comment from wierdgrace
this is so emotional and so feeling in my heart. The shortness was perfect, and I cried a bit, thank you as always for showing how wonderful you write again.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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this is so emotional and so feeling in my heart. The shortness was perfect, and I cried a bit, thank you as always for showing how wonderful you write again.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Grace, thank you so so much for your kind and empathetic response. Brooke
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you are always welcome
Comment from Pacinogal
Brooke,
Oh how aweful it must have been to grow up without a
mother. My father died when I was two months old so it
has been 51 years for me. Luckily I don't remember him.
Great cinquain. Powerful. My condolences to you. Kathy
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Brooke,
Oh how aweful it must have been to grow up without a
mother. My father died when I was two months old so it
has been 51 years for me. Luckily I don't remember him.
Great cinquain. Powerful. My condolences to you. Kathy
Comment Written 24-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Kathy, since I had just turned 8, my memories are scattered and impressionistic. I cherish the ones I have. Thank you, Brooke :-)
Comment from PUPA
Hi Brooke,
What a touching cinquain, and yes, the title is most significant here. Coincidenlty I was writing an essay today about taking care of an old mother, that has in the past never given love or affection!! Well, that is life I guess.
Love
Pupa
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Hi Brooke,
What a touching cinquain, and yes, the title is most significant here. Coincidenlty I was writing an essay today about taking care of an old mother, that has in the past never given love or affection!! Well, that is life I guess.
Love
Pupa
Comment Written 24-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Thank you - that is why I don't believe in Karma. Sometimes things work out right and sometimes they don't. All the great moms don't live to be 90 and all the bad moms aren't the ones who die young. It's a crap shoot. Brooke :-)
Comment from sara-beth
Well written; poignant and sad. It must have been hard to grow up without her.....and I'm sure it must be hard to believe so many years have gone by. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Well written; poignant and sad. It must have been hard to grow up without her.....and I'm sure it must be hard to believe so many years have gone by. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Sara-beth, thank you. I appreciate your thoughtful review, Brooke
Comment from LauraKatherine
The title is indeed the most significant line in this poem, as it encapsulates the context, theme, tone and characters of this poem.
The rhythm is incredibly smooth and even. You've done a wonderful job of conveying tone through your phrases. The third and fourth lines are especially poignant to me.
Excellent work. Laura
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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The title is indeed the most significant line in this poem, as it encapsulates the context, theme, tone and characters of this poem.
The rhythm is incredibly smooth and even. You've done a wonderful job of conveying tone through your phrases. The third and fourth lines are especially poignant to me.
Excellent work. Laura
Comment Written 24-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Laura, thank you for your perceptive review. Brooke :-)
Comment from RADIO
Very touching poem dear Adewpearl.
My father is gone fifty four years
now. I have so few memories.
Just two days ago I visited his grave.
We talked, it won't be too long that
we'll meet again.
Radio
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Very touching poem dear Adewpearl.
My father is gone fifty four years
now. I have so few memories.
Just two days ago I visited his grave.
We talked, it won't be too long that
we'll meet again.
Radio
Comment Written 24-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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Radio, thank you for sharing and for your kind review. My memories of my mother are mainly impressionistic with no more than a dozen or so specific events. Brooke
Comment from perunest
You must have lost your mother at a very young age. Brooke, I cannot fathom the pain you must have felt as you grew up without her. I'm sure the tears in your heart are shed every day as you miss her. Please accept my sincere sorrow for your deep loss; I hope you can find joy and comfort in her memory. I lost my mom almost 16 years ago, but she lived to see me grow up and have children of my own. Still, the tears come quickly when I think of the things she loved and would have loved. Thank you for sharing this very personal poem and part of yourself. Carolyn
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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You must have lost your mother at a very young age. Brooke, I cannot fathom the pain you must have felt as you grew up without her. I'm sure the tears in your heart are shed every day as you miss her. Please accept my sincere sorrow for your deep loss; I hope you can find joy and comfort in her memory. I lost my mom almost 16 years ago, but she lived to see me grow up and have children of my own. Still, the tears come quickly when I think of the things she loved and would have loved. Thank you for sharing this very personal poem and part of yourself. Carolyn
Comment Written 24-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2009
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I had just turned 8- it was near the end of second grade. It's the big events in life where you miss people the most - like graduations, wedding, the birth of my children, her grandchildren - most days it's on the back burner, but lying in the hospital and seeing other women's mothers coming to visit - that was hard. Thank you, Brooke :-)
