Driving the Distance
Contest Entry: Free Verse - Some Rhyme -76 total reviews
Comment from G.B. Smith
Throw away the guideposts
Leave them far behind
I'll call you when I've finally arrived,
Should I ever change my mind
But for now
All you need to ever know
Is that I am on my way
And this time,
I really must let go...
Diane, I could not have read this at a better time. My youngest son is (I just found out) dying of stomach cancer..
This is absolutely superb.
Bear
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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Throw away the guideposts
Leave them far behind
I'll call you when I've finally arrived,
Should I ever change my mind
But for now
All you need to ever know
Is that I am on my way
And this time,
I really must let go...
Diane, I could not have read this at a better time. My youngest son is (I just found out) dying of stomach cancer..
This is absolutely superb.
Bear
Comment Written 23-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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Dear Bear......My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours....Take care of yourself....l never understand these curve balls - no matter how long I live. Please keep me posted...diane
Comment from davidray
Hi diana,
This is splendid. The rhyming scheme rocks, the story unfolds like watching a movie in the cinema. Pefectly told with your brand of excellence.
David
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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Hi diana,
This is splendid. The rhyming scheme rocks, the story unfolds like watching a movie in the cinema. Pefectly told with your brand of excellence.
David
Comment Written 23-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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Thanks so much, David! Man! This one is all over the board - so I surely appreciate your kind review and words of encouragement! Take Care diane
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All over the board? Go figure. I'll check some of them out for a laugh. Some things we can't take seriously, right?
Keep smiling.
Always,
David
Comment from c_lucas
Oh, how much do we miss by staying in our cacoon. This poem challenges the reader to experience new things. Live LIFE-don't cower. Learn from your mistakes; don't wallow in them. Very well written, but I had one problem. I could never get a cadance that I was comfortable with. Your poem has good imagery and descriptive scheme. It should be printed out and posted to the refrigerator door for all to see. Good luck in your contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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Oh, how much do we miss by staying in our cacoon. This poem challenges the reader to experience new things. Live LIFE-don't cower. Learn from your mistakes; don't wallow in them. Very well written, but I had one problem. I could never get a cadance that I was comfortable with. Your poem has good imagery and descriptive scheme. It should be printed out and posted to the refrigerator door for all to see. Good luck in your contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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Hello! Thank you for stopping by and your kind review. RE: cadence: Perhaps reading aloud? That is my suggestion. It it stops and starts, that was my intention - like someone driving away - not really wanting to - but needing to do so - accelerate and brake; accelerate and brake. Take Care..diane
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You are welcome. You have answered my question. The stop and go was your intentions. Thank you, Charlie
Comment from mushroom
sounds like you are running away from something alright, you rhymed it ok and the flow wasn't bad either, i thought it was ok, i liked it
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sounds like you are running away from something alright, you rhymed it ok and the flow wasn't bad either, i thought it was ok, i liked it
Comment Written 23-Jul-2008
Comment from RazberryBullet
I thought the poem and the picture went well together. The past is behind and there is no visible future in sight.
Liked these lines especially:
But hanging onto the past Is like trying to capture
A mirror's reflection
Or hold back fallen tears;
I've done that far too often
All these many, many years
Good job!
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I thought the poem and the picture went well together. The past is behind and there is no visible future in sight.
Liked these lines especially:
But hanging onto the past Is like trying to capture
A mirror's reflection
Or hold back fallen tears;
I've done that far too often
All these many, many years
Good job!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2008
Comment from butterflygiggles
My favorite quote from Lao Tzu is," Time is a created thing. To say I don't have time is like saying I don't want to."
Your words explains the picture very vividly. Good luck with the contest.
The lines that spoke to me the most were:
"But hanging onto the past
Is like trying to capture
A mirror's reflection
Or hold back fallen tears"
Thank you for sharing.
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My favorite quote from Lao Tzu is," Time is a created thing. To say I don't have time is like saying I don't want to."
Your words explains the picture very vividly. Good luck with the contest.
The lines that spoke to me the most were:
"But hanging onto the past
Is like trying to capture
A mirror's reflection
Or hold back fallen tears"
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2008
Comment from Andrew Pens
WOW! This was great! I loved how it sounded like a chant, or a song. Like a rock song.
Also, I loved how you were subtle in the hints about the pictures a winding road heading toward something, aways from something and all the stuff in between just passing by as you watch.
Great great job. I loved it.
Take care, Good luck in the contest!
Andrew
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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WOW! This was great! I loved how it sounded like a chant, or a song. Like a rock song.
Also, I loved how you were subtle in the hints about the pictures a winding road heading toward something, aways from something and all the stuff in between just passing by as you watch.
Great great job. I loved it.
Take care, Good luck in the contest!
Andrew
Comment Written 23-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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Hello! So pleased you stopped by and enjoyed your visit! Stop by again - diane
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will do =)
YOu have so much excitement in you!
Comment from Sandman
I really liked this KT
very nice flow and imagery and I really liked your unique voice on this. the repeat open and close stanza worked really well and again, I really liked this piece
great job
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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I really liked this KT
very nice flow and imagery and I really liked your unique voice on this. the repeat open and close stanza worked really well and again, I really liked this piece
great job
Comment Written 23-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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Much appreciation, Friend. Thank you for stopping by and your kind review. diane
Comment from desertpoem
now here is a contest contender...and love the rear view mirror
capture, is down right brilliant..you know, i always like the poems that start and end with the same stanza...good luck in the contest..fg
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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now here is a contest contender...and love the rear view mirror
capture, is down right brilliant..you know, i always like the poems that start and end with the same stanza...good luck in the contest..fg
Comment Written 23-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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So pleased you enjoyed! Thank you! diane
Comment from earthlybeing
Well written poem that has great meaning in it. It was easy to read and understand. The flow was great just like the drive. Enjoyed. Jeanette
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Well written poem that has great meaning in it. It was easy to read and understand. The flow was great just like the drive. Enjoyed. Jeanette
Comment Written 23-Jul-2008
