Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "haiku(busy bees flitter)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
39 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
This is a very well composed haiku, Ulla.
Lines one and two show a distinct grammatical connection and concrete imagery.
Your syllable count, in English as opposed to Japanese "Kanji" (sounds), is well within the seventeen syllables or less the form requires.
It is written in the here and now, or in present tense if you prefer, and captures an observable moment in nature.
Your satori is a clever brief observation of the two-lined phrase of your haiku which comes before it.
Well done, an excellent addition to the book...
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This is a very well composed haiku, Ulla.
Lines one and two show a distinct grammatical connection and concrete imagery.
Your syllable count, in English as opposed to Japanese "Kanji" (sounds), is well within the seventeen syllables or less the form requires.
It is written in the here and now, or in present tense if you prefer, and captures an observable moment in nature.
Your satori is a clever brief observation of the two-lined phrase of your haiku which comes before it.
Well done, an excellent addition to the book...
Comment Written 08-Feb-2017
Comment from Ella25
I love the image you chose to support and stand for your haiku. So bright, vivid, beautiful and inviting. Waiting for the bees to come and drink that nectar of life. Excellent work, my friend. With love, Ella
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I love the image you chose to support and stand for your haiku. So bright, vivid, beautiful and inviting. Waiting for the bees to come and drink that nectar of life. Excellent work, my friend. With love, Ella
Comment Written 08-Feb-2017
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This is lovely, Ulla. I really admire the way you have tackled your writing occupation once you've made up your mind. You get some lovely ideas for haiku, but remember one thing they need to capture, is a 'moment in time.' I hope I can find the time now to do a little more in the poetry field, Giddy :-)
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This is lovely, Ulla. I really admire the way you have tackled your writing occupation once you've made up your mind. You get some lovely ideas for haiku, but remember one thing they need to capture, is a 'moment in time.' I hope I can find the time now to do a little more in the poetry field, Giddy :-)
Comment Written 08-Feb-2017
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Ulla, I really like this haiku challenge poetry. Great picture as the first line tells me what your subject is with second line is connected through where they are and what they are doing. Finishing with a strong satori telling what these bees mean to the cycle of life. Well done my friend,,,,,,,,,,Jim
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Ulla, I really like this haiku challenge poetry. Great picture as the first line tells me what your subject is with second line is connected through where they are and what they are doing. Finishing with a strong satori telling what these bees mean to the cycle of life. Well done my friend,,,,,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
Comment from Irish Rain
I just love all the words you've used, flitter, busy bees-buzz, makes for a musical and delightful little haiku. Great job, blessings....
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I just love all the words you've used, flitter, busy bees-buzz, makes for a musical and delightful little haiku. Great job, blessings....
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
Comment from Sasha
Very, very nice work with this haiku. I have always loved MoonWillow's artwork, and she is a great poet too. I admire your ability to take on these challenges...I don't dare.
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Very, very nice work with this haiku. I have always loved MoonWillow's artwork, and she is a great poet too. I admire your ability to take on these challenges...I don't dare.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
Comment from Poetic Friend
Good job with word economy, Ulla. You made each syllables count. I love the images you painted with your words, particlulary in the first two lines. Also, the alliteration was effectively used. Lastly, the essence of the poem was summarized in your final line.
Thank you for sharing. Have a great week. :)
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Good job with word economy, Ulla. You made each syllables count. I love the images you painted with your words, particlulary in the first two lines. Also, the alliteration was effectively used. Lastly, the essence of the poem was summarized in your final line.
Thank you for sharing. Have a great week. :)
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
Comment from Sixty70
You could not have chosen a topic closer to my heart! As an extension master gardener, I am terrified that we will be unable to repopulate our bees. Without them, the birds can't survive. Without them, humans won't survive!
Your final line 'nectar of life' is a fundamental truth!
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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You could not have chosen a topic closer to my heart! As an extension master gardener, I am terrified that we will be unable to repopulate our bees. Without them, the birds can't survive. Without them, humans won't survive!
Your final line 'nectar of life' is a fundamental truth!
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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Hi There, thank you so much and for your wonderful stars. I feel like you. They are so important to all life on earth and it is frightening how they are starting to die. Thank you so much again. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from damommy
Very nice - flitter in flowers, busy bees buzz.
I could see and hear them among the flowers.
Very good. I can't really critique a haiku, but I know what I like. 8-)
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Very nice - flitter in flowers, busy bees buzz.
I could see and hear them among the flowers.
Very good. I can't really critique a haiku, but I know what I like. 8-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
