If Fall Should Ever Disappear
rhyming quatrains174 total reviews
Comment from ChuckLPC
This poem captures the feeling that I have of Autumn, such a wonderful season, within and of itself, and in the context of its literary meaning between life and life's end.
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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2012
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This poem captures the feeling that I have of Autumn, such a wonderful season, within and of itself, and in the context of its literary meaning between life and life's end.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2012
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Chuck, thank you for your positive comments. Since the comments are so positive, could I please ask for a clarification of the 4 rating, which on this site translates to "needs improvement." What parts of the poem would you like to see improved/revised? Brooke
Comment from jb wade
What a thought? But you have a brilliant answer. How very fitting the colors you chose for your display. I enjoyed this very much for an early morning read. I especially like stanza two "I'll have to dream a flock of geese to travel 'cross October's sky" What an image.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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What a thought? But you have a brilliant answer. How very fitting the colors you chose for your display. I enjoyed this very much for an early morning read. I especially like stanza two "I'll have to dream a flock of geese to travel 'cross October's sky" What an image.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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jb wade, thank you so much for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from N.K. Wagner
An ABAB rhyme scheme makes this series of quatrains a delight to the ear. The subject - the end of autumn - would be a tragedy, indeed. Lovely, Brooke. :) nancy
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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An ABAB rhyme scheme makes this series of quatrains a delight to the ear. The subject - the end of autumn - would be a tragedy, indeed. Lovely, Brooke. :) nancy
Comment Written 15-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Nancy, thank you so much for your gracious review :-) Brooke
Comment from redrider6612
I enjoyed this poem. Thank God for all of the seasons, the constant cycle of death and renewal. This poem is a beautifully crafted ode to autumn, done in the negative for a change. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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I enjoyed this poem. Thank God for all of the seasons, the constant cycle of death and renewal. This poem is a beautifully crafted ode to autumn, done in the negative for a change. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Diane, thank you so much, my friend :-) I was thrilled to win this contest since there were some very worthy contenders :-) Brooke
Comment from Glasstruth
Sounds like autumn's your favorite season. The first line got me involved right away with "If fall should ever disappear" You accompany your poem with the beautiful feel of "a pumpkin, a harvest moon, and a flock of geese" If I had my sixes left, surely I would use it. Wonderfully written! Les
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Sounds like autumn's your favorite season. The first line got me involved right away with "If fall should ever disappear" You accompany your poem with the beautiful feel of "a pumpkin, a harvest moon, and a flock of geese" If I had my sixes left, surely I would use it. Wonderfully written! Les
Comment Written 15-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Spring is my favorite, autumn second :-) Thanks so very much, Les! Brooke :-)
Comment from cinamonsunrise
Well written quatrains with abab rhyming scheme throughout. Good rhythm and meter with 8 syllables per line. Color chosen for background and artwork chosen to introduce poem both represent fall nicely. Descriptive words such as "burnished gold" provide imagery. Lovely poem. I love the fall and its beautiful colors...my favorite season of all. I really enjoyed this poem. cinamon
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2012
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Well written quatrains with abab rhyming scheme throughout. Good rhythm and meter with 8 syllables per line. Color chosen for background and artwork chosen to introduce poem both represent fall nicely. Descriptive words such as "burnished gold" provide imagery. Lovely poem. I love the fall and its beautiful colors...my favorite season of all. I really enjoyed this poem. cinamon
Comment Written 15-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2012
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Cinamon, thank you so very much for your encouraging review :-) Brooke
Comment from artemis53
Lovely piece, Brooke. Flawless in it's presentation but adamant about never losing sight of beauty once given. Once we've experienced an action or situation it never will go away since it is imprinted in our memories. Beautiful.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2012
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Lovely piece, Brooke. Flawless in it's presentation but adamant about never losing sight of beauty once given. Once we've experienced an action or situation it never will go away since it is imprinted in our memories. Beautiful.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2012
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artemis, thank you so very much for your encouraging review :-) Brooke
Comment from Mike K2
Definitely one of the better poems on fall that I have read in a long time, as you penned a wonderful tribute to the fleeting season that signals change. I felt it was well written and loved the word usage!
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Definitely one of the better poems on fall that I have read in a long time, as you penned a wonderful tribute to the fleeting season that signals change. I felt it was well written and loved the word usage!
Comment Written 15-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Mike, thanks for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is very well written my friend you bring the work to life so well in the descriptions throughout I enjoyed this colourful poem regards Jill
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2012
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This is very well written my friend you bring the work to life so well in the descriptions throughout I enjoyed this colourful poem regards Jill
Comment Written 15-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2012
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Jill, thank you so much for your encouraging review :-) Brooke
Comment from Father Flaps
Welcome back, Brooke!
I can't imagine a year without Fall. Imagine going straight through...say, May until November, in sunshine and warm breezes, and then suddenly being hit with a winter storm. How rude! Fall is a beautiful buffer zone.
I enjoyed your poem about my favourite season.
I like these phrases, "rainbow landscape" and "cornucopia
of dreams"
"dream of leaves"... nice assonance
"cross October's sky"... good alliteration! Also "crisp and clear"
I like this simile,
"A pumpkin, like a harvest moon"
I like the repetition in your first and last verse,
"If fall should ever disappear" and "I'll dream of" and "ever green".
Imagine, I can finally give you that fleeting sixth star!
I hope you had a wonderful time with Sawyer. I imagine there will be some fantastic children's poetry coming along.
All the Best!
your fan,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2012
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Welcome back, Brooke!
I can't imagine a year without Fall. Imagine going straight through...say, May until November, in sunshine and warm breezes, and then suddenly being hit with a winter storm. How rude! Fall is a beautiful buffer zone.
I enjoyed your poem about my favourite season.
I like these phrases, "rainbow landscape" and "cornucopia
of dreams"
"dream of leaves"... nice assonance
"cross October's sky"... good alliteration! Also "crisp and clear"
I like this simile,
"A pumpkin, like a harvest moon"
I like the repetition in your first and last verse,
"If fall should ever disappear" and "I'll dream of" and "ever green".
Imagine, I can finally give you that fleeting sixth star!
I hope you had a wonderful time with Sawyer. I imagine there will be some fantastic children's poetry coming along.
All the Best!
your fan,
Kimbob
Comment Written 15-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2012
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Kimbob, thank you so much :-) I fly home Sunday but had to post this from CA due to the contest deadline. I am enjoying Sawyer so much. I truly appreciate your generous exceptional rating, my friend :-) Brooke
