For My Eyes Only
The heat of the moment and then ....49 total reviews
Comment from fictionwriter
What a great piece of writing. You had me rolling in the emotions of the two lovers. I fell hard right along with you. Great, great job.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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What a great piece of writing. You had me rolling in the emotions of the two lovers. I fell hard right along with you. Great, great job.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Joy
Thank you so much for the comments. I hoped that it would catch the reader off guard. Thanks again...Carol
Comment from writer_13
What a great story. You created something really interesting using the two sentences you were required to use. It held my interest and nice surprise ending. I enjoyed it very much.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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What a great story. You created something really interesting using the two sentences you were required to use. It held my interest and nice surprise ending. I enjoyed it very much.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Writer
Thanks for your kind review. Glad the story caught your attention. Appreciate the thoughts. Smiles, Carol
Comment from anabellapongasi
oh I just love it. (I'm a hopeless romantic!) Very enjoyable to read, so full of passion. Very imaginative. And I love the surprise ending. You're really brilliant Carol. I'm so impressed with your writing. ( by the way I can't find chapter 9 of Ice Princess)
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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oh I just love it. (I'm a hopeless romantic!) Very enjoyable to read, so full of passion. Very imaginative. And I love the surprise ending. You're really brilliant Carol. I'm so impressed with your writing. ( by the way I can't find chapter 9 of Ice Princess)
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Anabella
Wow...you sure know how to make a person feel good. I am so glad that you enjoyed the story and I'm blown away by the stars.
I haven't posted Chap 9 because I realized I need to make an adjust in the story to show how Shaker and Sherry were connected. Thought I better figure that out before I posted again. Thanks for the interest though. You are great!
Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from Heidixoxo
WOW, this is such an intense piece. I enjoyed it all the way through and feel you did such a nice job. Your emotions involved were outstanding. Job well done. Best of luck to you my friend. xoxo
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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WOW, this is such an intense piece. I enjoyed it all the way through and feel you did such a nice job. Your emotions involved were outstanding. Job well done. Best of luck to you my friend. xoxo
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Heidi
Thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning. Greatly appreciate the review and especially that you found it so enjoyable. Thanks again. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent! You got up caught up in a very passionate scene which you watched imagining everything it meant to the people involved, only to find it was play acting. You made the transition from hot and steamy cold and unmeaningful smoothly and used the sentences requited effectively.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Excellent! You got up caught up in a very passionate scene which you watched imagining everything it meant to the people involved, only to find it was play acting. You made the transition from hot and steamy cold and unmeaningful smoothly and used the sentences requited effectively.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Beth
Thanks for the kind review. I was sure where I was taking this at first, but I am glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again Carol
Comment from another jim
Whew! For your narrator's own good, I'm glad this guy was just an actor. Otherwise, I'm afraid she would have launched herself across that booth and done something they'd both regret later...LOL!
Nicely done, Carol! I could feel the narrator's passion in your well-chosen words, and her disappointment in finding out the truth. Thank God for our books, eh?!
Great use of the prompt requirements! Good luck in the contest...Jim.
May I suggest two minor changes:
'Taunt' should be 'taut' (tightly drawn, tense). One of those easy slips, like how I ALWAYS use 'discrete' when I mean 'discreet'!
"...I pictured myself wrapped in those arms like a vise,..."
As written, it might sound like you're the vise, rather than his arms. Maybe:
"...I pictured myself wrapped in those vise-like arms,..."
Small stuff, did not affect my enjoyment of your story one bit!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Whew! For your narrator's own good, I'm glad this guy was just an actor. Otherwise, I'm afraid she would have launched herself across that booth and done something they'd both regret later...LOL!
Nicely done, Carol! I could feel the narrator's passion in your well-chosen words, and her disappointment in finding out the truth. Thank God for our books, eh?!
Great use of the prompt requirements! Good luck in the contest...Jim.
May I suggest two minor changes:
'Taunt' should be 'taut' (tightly drawn, tense). One of those easy slips, like how I ALWAYS use 'discrete' when I mean 'discreet'!
"...I pictured myself wrapped in those arms like a vise,..."
As written, it might sound like you're the vise, rather than his arms. Maybe:
"...I pictured myself wrapped in those vise-like arms,..."
Small stuff, did not affect my enjoyment of your story one bit!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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JIm
This morning, with a clear brain, (Well- maybe) I can see your suggestions as perfect and will make them asap. I am pleased that you enjoyed the story and appreciate your comments. Thanks again...Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from dmjones
Hi Carol, This is excellent and uses the two lines well. There is an element of written suspense that keeps you wondering until the end just how it will turn out. Excellent and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Hi Carol, This is excellent and uses the two lines well. There is an element of written suspense that keeps you wondering until the end just how it will turn out. Excellent and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Donna
Thanks so much for the kind comments. I wasn't sure where I was headed and then it was there. Glad you enjoyed the read. Smiles to you, CArol
Comment from c_lucas
I was confused in the third and fourth paragraph. It seemed like you changed genders. Other than that, this is very well written Good luck in your contest. Congratulations, over regaining you place in line. You earned it.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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I was confused in the third and fourth paragraph. It seemed like you changed genders. Other than that, this is very well written Good luck in your contest. Congratulations, over regaining you place in line. You earned it.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Charlie
Thank you...but it really doesn't matter as long as I'm sharing with you. I just needed the $$$ so I could place my romance story which means a lot to me. You sure have to read a lot to get one decent posting. Thanks for reading and comments on this story. Smiles to yo, Carol
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You're welcome, Carol. Charlie
Comment from misscookie
Wow! You did it again Did you just writ this. If so it's wonderful.
I know It will be along tie befor I write that well and only God knows how much time I have. So instead of wanting to do like you and so many others I'll writejust way God created me to do except all my no,no's. hH Il ike that I think I'll put in my book .
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Wow! You did it again Did you just writ this. If so it's wonderful.
I know It will be along tie befor I write that well and only God knows how much time I have. So instead of wanting to do like you and so many others I'll writejust way God created me to do except all my no,no's. hH Il ike that I think I'll put in my book .
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Cookie
Yes, I wrote this last night before pposting. As for you my friend, you continue to write, don't let anything stop you. When you want my help or suggestions though, please feel free to ask. Your thoughts are excellent. You just need a little polish...and that's exactly what all of us need. Smiling at you, Carol
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You are suh a Blessing I'm sure God cause our path to meet. Your so wonderful I need not ask for you always help me to improve also others in fact with help I start gett 5 stars no and then this makes me feel better.
Cookie
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God for you...I told you that the thoughts are there you just need to find how to express them. Have a great day...Cookie
Comment from Belinda
Wow... what an experience! Watching two lovers (the one looks like the one you loved) caressing each other with words and others... Only to know that they were rehearsing a scene. Entertaining, with a surprise ending!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Wow... what an experience! Watching two lovers (the one looks like the one you loved) caressing each other with words and others... Only to know that they were rehearsing a scene. Entertaining, with a surprise ending!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Belinda
Had to use those two lines and this is what popped into that crazy brain of mine. Glad you liked the story. CArol
