Sonnets
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "My Request"sonnets
87 total reviews
Comment from mslyla216
Now this is why you are Fanstory's number one poet, Brooke. My feeling is that one can always do better, that there is always room for improvement, so I VERY seldom award six stars. However, the amount of research that you put into this poem, and the perfect way you have converted it to this page for the reader to view, as well as the absolute perfection of the rhyme scheme and the blending of the mythical and romantic themes makes this six star quality. Bravo. Lyla
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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Now this is why you are Fanstory's number one poet, Brooke. My feeling is that one can always do better, that there is always room for improvement, so I VERY seldom award six stars. However, the amount of research that you put into this poem, and the perfect way you have converted it to this page for the reader to view, as well as the absolute perfection of the rhyme scheme and the blending of the mythical and romantic themes makes this six star quality. Bravo. Lyla
Comment Written 02-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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Lyla, thank you!! In light of what you've said about your reluctance to give away six star reviews, I am honored and humbled :-) I truly appreciate your kind and generous response!! Brooke
Comment from Janelle
Wow Brooke, this is fabulous! How clever you are to be able to write such a wonderful poem that is mystical, yet has all the romantic yearnings that still apply to todays lovelorn and lonely. And it's a pleasure to read. Well done and I am sure this is an extremely strong contender for the contest. Regards, Jan (I'd have given you a six if I had one!) :)
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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Wow Brooke, this is fabulous! How clever you are to be able to write such a wonderful poem that is mystical, yet has all the romantic yearnings that still apply to todays lovelorn and lonely. And it's a pleasure to read. Well done and I am sure this is an extremely strong contender for the contest. Regards, Jan (I'd have given you a six if I had one!) :)
Comment Written 02-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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Jan, thank you for such gracious and generous comments!! Brooke
Comment from Lady & Louis
Excellent work, Brooke! Mythological and romantic indeed - though with the irony (intended?) that none of those was exactly a happy ending. (I don't think being turned into trees counts as much of an eternity, lol.) Still, classical mythology did tend to have bad endings for all and sundry, didn't it?
No nits or spag came to my eye, and it read smoothly - whether technically correct or not, I wasn't counting!
Good luck in the contest,
Louise
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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Excellent work, Brooke! Mythological and romantic indeed - though with the irony (intended?) that none of those was exactly a happy ending. (I don't think being turned into trees counts as much of an eternity, lol.) Still, classical mythology did tend to have bad endings for all and sundry, didn't it?
No nits or spag came to my eye, and it read smoothly - whether technically correct or not, I wasn't counting!
Good luck in the contest,
Louise
Comment Written 02-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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ah, but they were an old couple by the time they turned into trees - I think they had had a good run! :-D Thanks, Louise, Brooke
Comment from LexieMannix
This is a very resonating and lovely poem, reflecting Greek mythogy and lack of love. The angst in the questions gave it a lot of power. Aphrodite's tears turning to crimson flow'r is especially pretty. Lovely, Brooke. The qualities of the old stories just never die, do they? Poets and authors keep on honouring them (thank goodness).
Lexie
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2009
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This is a very resonating and lovely poem, reflecting Greek mythogy and lack of love. The angst in the questions gave it a lot of power. Aphrodite's tears turning to crimson flow'r is especially pretty. Lovely, Brooke. The qualities of the old stories just never die, do they? Poets and authors keep on honouring them (thank goodness).
Lexie
Comment Written 02-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2009
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Lexie, thank you - you're right - the classic stories continue to hold up because they are so wonderfully written and so filled with universal and timeless meaning. Brooke
Comment from bard owl
Very entertaining. Sonnets can be really wordy and complicated but you zings right along. And it asks that important question all of us get around to once or twice in our lives. Excellent imagery with just a hint of fun. Best of luck in the contest. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2009
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Very entertaining. Sonnets can be really wordy and complicated but you zings right along. And it asks that important question all of us get around to once or twice in our lives. Excellent imagery with just a hint of fun. Best of luck in the contest. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 02-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2009
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Linda, thank you! Yes, I've read sonnets where I honestly could not begin to tell you what they're about - I'm so glad you think I didn't fall into that trap :-) Brooke
Comment from Psychonaut X
If I had any 6 stars left to give, I would most certainly give this 6 stars. Amazing, amazing piece! You incorporate not one, not two, but three separate myths about love into this sonnet and do so seamlessly with the heartfelt solicitations for a lover who appears to be equally mythical.
The mythical examples you used were faithful to the original stories. You had three quatrains and a couplet, never strayed from the iambic pentameter, and kept the ABAB CDCD EFEF GG rhyme scheme. Your author's notes stated the rules and the rules only. You even work'd in some poetic contractions, adding to the romantic quality of the poem. This is flawless! I think this contest is over before it truly began. Fantastic job!
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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If I had any 6 stars left to give, I would most certainly give this 6 stars. Amazing, amazing piece! You incorporate not one, not two, but three separate myths about love into this sonnet and do so seamlessly with the heartfelt solicitations for a lover who appears to be equally mythical.
The mythical examples you used were faithful to the original stories. You had three quatrains and a couplet, never strayed from the iambic pentameter, and kept the ABAB CDCD EFEF GG rhyme scheme. Your author's notes stated the rules and the rules only. You even work'd in some poetic contractions, adding to the romantic quality of the poem. This is flawless! I think this contest is over before it truly began. Fantastic job!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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From your lips to the voters' ears! LOL Thanks so much for your attention to detail and for your most gracious and generous comments. I had fun writing this one, which I knew I had to do the second I saw the contest. I really do appreciate your thoughtfulness. Brooke
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi Brooke,
Very nice sonnet and I loved how you used the Gods as a theme. The rhyme and flow are nice and the art is beautiful. Looks like a good contest entry and thank you for sharing. God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2009
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Hi Brooke,
Very nice sonnet and I loved how you used the Gods as a theme. The rhyme and flow are nice and the art is beautiful. Looks like a good contest entry and thank you for sharing. God bless and best wishes!
mtngalofnc
Comment Written 02-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2009
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Thanks so much - this contest challenge really appealed to me. Brooke :-)
Comment from tteach
Very clever! I love how you incorporated all the references to mythical beings into a personalized poem. You pose a series of questions....if....then...
The format works quite well, and allows the reader to see, and ask, why not?
well done
terry
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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Very clever! I love how you incorporated all the references to mythical beings into a personalized poem. You pose a series of questions....if....then...
The format works quite well, and allows the reader to see, and ask, why not?
well done
terry
Comment Written 02-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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Terry, thank you for your perceptive read and warm comments, Brooke
Comment from mstad55
Okay so I called AI and it appears that Adam Lambert is dating. Sorry, I tried. Nice job on a poem I totally didn't understand a word of. mstad55
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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Okay so I called AI and it appears that Adam Lambert is dating. Sorry, I tried. Nice job on a poem I totally didn't understand a word of. mstad55
Comment Written 02-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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Mike, you just made me laugh a whole lot - I would have given a tiny capsule summary of the three myths, but then I would have broken the contest rules. Thanks for saying it's nice anyway! Oh, and thanks for trying to set me up :-) Brooke
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Hey no problem sis. I probably should have sent the invitation in a more private message. I got a reply from Sanjiya. He's available Saturday.
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I think if I were going to rob the cradle, it might be with someone that would make the shame of it all more worth while! LOL Adam I might have risked it all for. LOL
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Just in, William Hung wants to sing for you his redition of MY Girl. Should I tell him you're busy or that you are washing your hair and can't go out. Well, it's almost that time for all good little boys and girls to go to bed. Don't stay up to late.
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William Hung???? You sure are scraping the bottom of the barrel!!! LOL
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Adewpearl ....
This is a very gentle piece of writing with good rhyming and a comfortable rhythm. I enjoyed reading what you have written.
There is nothing to suggest changing and, as this is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
With love from ... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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Hullo Adewpearl ....
This is a very gentle piece of writing with good rhyming and a comfortable rhythm. I enjoyed reading what you have written.
There is nothing to suggest changing and, as this is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
With love from ... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2009
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Nanette Mary, thank you for your kind encouragement and gracious comments, Brooke :-)
