cinquains
Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "Drifting Snow"cinquain poetry
71 total reviews
Comment from Jewell McChesney
Such a serene veiw of winter you paint with your perfect eloquence. Winter is my least favorite season, but somehow you paint a lovely image in my mind.
wonderfully done, creative and smooth.
Jj
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Such a serene veiw of winter you paint with your perfect eloquence. Winter is my least favorite season, but somehow you paint a lovely image in my mind.
wonderfully done, creative and smooth.
Jj
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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it is also my least favorite season, why I chose it for a cinquain that ends with a fall, as the mood in the end turns to one where the view is obscured. To me, that sums up winter - the snow is pretty for a while until you have to walk in it or drive in it or in any way deal with it.
Seems I gave a better impression of it than I intended. LOL
thanks for your most positive review!!! Brooke
Comment from wierdgrace
this is beautiful, and I loved it, a different type of poem, and I can not wait to try it. I took my own pictures this weekend, with your experience, I think later I will try writing one. thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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this is beautiful, and I loved it, a different type of poem, and I can not wait to try it. I took my own pictures this weekend, with your experience, I think later I will try writing one. thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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this is my first cinquain - good luck in trying one, too!! thank you, Brooke
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thank you so much
Comment from kassey
A beautiful cinquain, the presentation of the drifting show, soon to obscure the post from view is a pefrct choice to show both the beauty of the snow and the way it can hide your view. Excellent Kay
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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A beautiful cinquain, the presentation of the drifting show, soon to obscure the post from view is a pefrct choice to show both the beauty of the snow and the way it can hide your view. Excellent Kay
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Kay, thanks so much for this warm review of a very cold subject :-) Brooke
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I like this, Brooke, a clever use of words
with a smooth flow.
An ideal entry for the contest.
I lived in Kent for 10 years where I had two
of my sons - the snow used to fall for days
on end, drifts so high we couldn't even get
out the door for a time.. or let the dog out..
she'd have disappeared. The men had to dig their
way out to the end of the close (another little
country village) to meet "Milk and bread deliveries".
Somehow, they still went to work. Nothing stopped us
in those days. And what fun the children had - I've
such lovely pictures of them - we always came in wet
and freezing, but so exhilerated.
Good luck with the contest,
Margaret.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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I like this, Brooke, a clever use of words
with a smooth flow.
An ideal entry for the contest.
I lived in Kent for 10 years where I had two
of my sons - the snow used to fall for days
on end, drifts so high we couldn't even get
out the door for a time.. or let the dog out..
she'd have disappeared. The men had to dig their
way out to the end of the close (another little
country village) to meet "Milk and bread deliveries".
Somehow, they still went to work. Nothing stopped us
in those days. And what fun the children had - I've
such lovely pictures of them - we always came in wet
and freezing, but so exhilerated.
Good luck with the contest,
Margaret.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Margaret, thank you for sharing your experiences with me - I've never been a real snow person, other than admiring its beauty. I don't like cold and don't like slippery! :-) Brooke
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Neither do I, now I'm older...
to slip on the bottom of
my spine would be agony.
I had the coccyx removed
after over 4 yrs of agony,
and altho I can now walk
and sit, it hurts like hell
if I lean back to put pressure
on it, let alone bang it.
I love winter's beauty when
I can look out from within.
M
Comment from jamar2
Not really impressed with this one I am afraid my dear, its just plain, maybe to plain.
Think I am missing something here, I understand the rules of the comp, but it just does not hit out at you, sorry, just being honest.
jamar.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Not really impressed with this one I am afraid my dear, its just plain, maybe to plain.
Think I am missing something here, I understand the rules of the comp, but it just does not hit out at you, sorry, just being honest.
jamar.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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hey, Mike -it's my first cinquain - I probably need more practice. Thanks, Brooke :-)
Comment from Gramma Kathy
This is so lovely! The rhythm of your cinquain poem is soothing, something I really needed today.
Once again, I am impressed. I wish you well in the contest and thank you for another fine lesson in poetry.
Hugs, Gramma Kathy
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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This is so lovely! The rhythm of your cinquain poem is soothing, something I really needed today.
Once again, I am impressed. I wish you well in the contest and thank you for another fine lesson in poetry.
Hugs, Gramma Kathy
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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it's a lesson I'm learning along with you - my first ever cinquain that I did not submit until a half hour before deadline as I spent days fretting over what to write that would have a build up and fall! Thanks so very much for this encouraging review, Brooke :-)
Comment from c_lucas
Excuse me while I turn up the heat.(LOL) Having numerous surgeries, I would not be out of line to say that I feel this poem. A very well written tribute to Winter. Very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Excuse me while I turn up the heat.(LOL) Having numerous surgeries, I would not be out of line to say that I feel this poem. A very well written tribute to Winter. Very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Charlie, sorry about numerous surgeries! One surgery is quite enough - don't go overboard :-) thanks so much for your great review of my first ever cinquain! Brooke
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You're welcome, Brooke. Charlie
Comment from raw form
Brooke I read your work all the time I dont review all of them but I must say this, it is better than a writing class because I learn so much from you and others here. Maybe one day I'll be able to rock like the rest of yall here and make my raw form be known.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Brooke I read your work all the time I dont review all of them but I must say this, it is better than a writing class because I learn so much from you and others here. Maybe one day I'll be able to rock like the rest of yall here and make my raw form be known.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Well, that is a most wonderful thing to say, especially since this is my first ever cinquain, and I almost chickened out of even trying one after reserving a spot in the contest - my biggest lesson from this one is to take the plunge! I convinced myself I had no idea how to write in this form and then forced myself to do it anyway!! Thanks ever so much for your most kind review, Brooke :-)
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Brooke just keep pushing along and I'll be the caboose following LOL
Comment from perunest
Between you and bard owl, I am thoroughly frozen! Though your cinquain does provide a cozy view of the white stuff from inside. We're about to endure a mojor ice storm here, so I'm bracing myself. Just hope the power doesn't go out. I like the feel of your poem as the snow obscures the view. Now for a cup of hot chocolate . . . Carolyn
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Between you and bard owl, I am thoroughly frozen! Though your cinquain does provide a cozy view of the white stuff from inside. We're about to endure a mojor ice storm here, so I'm bracing myself. Just hope the power doesn't go out. I like the feel of your poem as the snow obscures the view. Now for a cup of hot chocolate . . . Carolyn
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Carolyn, luckily we are to get four inches of rain today which would be so much more snow if it were a tad colder - thanks for your kind comments on my first ever cinquain! Brooke And stay warm and dry!!!!!
Comment from skye
That will soon be the view out of our windows as snow is forecast for the mountains.
Love this form. Your poem has deep layers... and is chilling me to the bone.... so it is very good.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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That will soon be the view out of our windows as snow is forecast for the mountains.
Love this form. Your poem has deep layers... and is chilling me to the bone.... so it is very good.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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thanks so very much- it's my very first stab at this form and had me so nervous for a week that I did not submit until a half hour before submission deadline!! That whole rise and fall thing is way harder than the syllable count part - these short form poems are killers if you do more than syllables. You're most most kind, Brooke
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You are very talented, and it shows in the varied forms you choose to use for your poems. Imagination and creativity... you have them both.
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It is very encouraging and motivating to know there are talented people out there who like my work - you truly are a lovely member of this community. :-)
