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A Compilation of Short stories

Viewing comments for Chapter 141 "A Life Well Lived"
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48 total reviews 
Comment from Terry Broxson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ulla, you have written a good entry for this contest. I think it will do very well. I have lived a good part of your story, so I do know about being alone. Excellent work. Terry.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2023

Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow! This contest entry is extremely emotional and powerful. You did a wonderful job describing loneliness. I have reviewed a few for this contest, but I feel you've nailed it. Thank you for sharing it with us and good luck.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
    Thank you so much, Barbara, and for the the shining stars. Your praise and support means a lot to me.
    The Fisherman will be out tomorrow.
    Thanks again. Ulla:)))
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
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This is a sweet, but sad piece about a lonely old man lamenting the loss of his wife some 40 years ago. It was well-written, and the loneliness of his existence was palpable.

There were a few wording errors that should probably be corrected or explained further:

"from being nigh on forty years" should be "and has been for nigh on forty years now"

"So, this is what is left since you've gone, yet to me it all feels the same." It's not clear to me what feels the same, or it feels the same as what?

"I turn my eyes further down the driveway" I think I would leave out "further" because you haven't previously mentioned that he was looking down the driveway.

"makes his round" should be "makes his rounds"

"Our little baby perishes." All of a sudden you changed to present tense. I think I would say "perished"

"the fatal decease" should be "disease"

"you lied listlessly in your bed" should be "lay"

These are just minor. Overall, a good story.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
    Thank you so much, Jim, for a great review. Now I've made some edits, but it's the chair which is forty years old. His wife only died recently. Thanks again. Ulla:)))
reply by Jim Wile on 28-Jan-2023
    Oops! I missed that.
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Excellent
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This piece you have written for the alone prompt unveils a world wrapped in loneliness and grief. The language is genuine and heartfelt. It is a great entry in the contest. Good luck.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
    Thank you so very much, Ginda. I so appreciate it. I'm glad you liked it. Ulla:)))
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent
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I wish I had another six to give you. This was a sad story to read, but you did a wonderful job. I didn't pick up on any errors. I wish you luck in the contest. Have a great day. Shirley

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
    Aw, Shirley, thank you so much, and your virtual six is so much appreciated. Ulla:)))
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
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This story, A Life Well-lived, recalls a couples' life and love through the survivor's reflection. We know, through living, that this scene is real and lived by all who remain.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
    Thank you Bill. It's so true. Thanks again. Ulla:)))
Comment from John Ciarmello
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a beautiful story for this contest, Ulla! I didn't leave it for a moment while reading, and I felt every emotion and every scene, especially the sadness of being alone. I loved it! Best, JohnC

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
    Aw, John, thank you so much for this heartfelt review and the lovely stars. Thanks so much for this. I know it's sad, but it's also the reality of so many. Ulla:)))
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Aw, Ulla, that was heart-breaking! That poor man. I can quite understand him feeling that way, it's like that for many elderly people who have lost their life-time partner. It's like half of them has died. My mum was like that after my dad died. So sad to watch them slowly give up. But my mum wasn't alone, she had her children. This poor man seemed to be totally alone. I loved the story, it's an excellent contest entry and I wish you the very best of luck! :) I'll check out when the voting starts. :)) Sandra xxxx

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
    Thank you so much, Sandra. It's a site sponsored contest and I couldn't resist writing for it.
    I've been thinking of you. How are you doing now? You sound so much better.
    The Fisherman will be out tomorrow. I just needed a complete break for a little while.
    Please do let me know how you're getting on. A big hug to you, my friend. Ulla xxx
Comment from BermyBye50
Excellent
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Ulla,

This is a compelling entry in the Alone Writing Contest contest. It draws the reader into the life experience of the person all left all alone after the passing of their loved one. The reader is left with the sense of foreboding
we all must face as we age and find ourselves alone. Your storey canbe summed up in the following phrase "The Sky Darkens, Slowly." Well done.

All the best in the contest,

Eugene


 Comment Written 27-Jan-2023

Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
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This is a heart-touching story. It is true for so many of us; we spend our last year alone and waiting. Your story is skillfully executed, and your choice of words is perfect. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2023