Fear in a Cave
A Galloping Denturn Poem37 total reviews
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Fear in a Cave", is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll KEEP READING. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
  |
"Fear in a Cave", is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll KEEP READING. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
-
Thank you, Duchess. It's a deal.
-
damonny, there's nothing better than a deal.
Take care, God bless you and best wishes,
the Duchess
Comment from mally mack
This is quite the intriguing piece. There is so much going on there are many ways that your words may be interpreted. The ending is quite curious as well. Leaving a poem open ended is very interesting.
Best Wishes
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
|
This is quite the intriguing piece. There is so much going on there are many ways that your words may be interpreted. The ending is quite curious as well. Leaving a poem open ended is very interesting.
Best Wishes
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
-
Thank you. I was afraid the ending was a bit limp.
Comment from LeftHandedScribe
You gave me some chills during the middle of the poem. What a specific and vital voice you have as an author. I look forward to reading other work from you.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
|
You gave me some chills during the middle of the poem. What a specific and vital voice you have as an author. I look forward to reading other work from you.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
-
Thank you, Shauna. I appreciate that.
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Damommy;
>A mystery prose written in a poetic form and done so with embellishing and demonstratively descriptive imagery. Not leaving out the metaphoric definitive expressiveness that orientates itself around the mystery.
>Poetic metered verses were both delicately composed to a dactylic and trochaic format Whereas the first Two versus comprised of a dactylic meter and the second to versus comprised of trochiac meter.
>This was produced to Differentiate between the two sets of verses With a second set of verses were actually like a volta is in an English sonnet.
>All in all, I thought it was brilliantly composed instructional format and also in colorful coordination of the picture, which was reflective and supportive to the conceptual theme, that was perfectly chosen for this writing.
>I enjoyed it immensely as I always love to enjoy those English mysteries that are on public TV, as my wife and I just sit back and eat ice cream and watch them in suspense.
>Thank you for sharing this wonderful writing and take care and have a good one especially with all those that love you dearly.
Alx
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
 |
Cheers, Damommy;
>A mystery prose written in a poetic form and done so with embellishing and demonstratively descriptive imagery. Not leaving out the metaphoric definitive expressiveness that orientates itself around the mystery.
>Poetic metered verses were both delicately composed to a dactylic and trochaic format Whereas the first Two versus comprised of a dactylic meter and the second to versus comprised of trochiac meter.
>This was produced to Differentiate between the two sets of verses With a second set of verses were actually like a volta is in an English sonnet.
>All in all, I thought it was brilliantly composed instructional format and also in colorful coordination of the picture, which was reflective and supportive to the conceptual theme, that was perfectly chosen for this writing.
>I enjoyed it immensely as I always love to enjoy those English mysteries that are on public TV, as my wife and I just sit back and eat ice cream and watch them in suspense.
>Thank you for sharing this wonderful writing and take care and have a good one especially with all those that love you dearly.
Alx
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
-
I watch all the English mysteries, too. They're great. As this review is great. Thank you so much.
-
You're very welcome, Damommy.
Alx
Comment from LIJ Red
I hope that wasn't a skunk in that cave. I could not wrap my mind around all those rules, so I read the poem, enjoyed the yarn and the abab rhymes, and left the meter up to you.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
|
I hope that wasn't a skunk in that cave. I could not wrap my mind around all those rules, so I read the poem, enjoyed the yarn and the abab rhymes, and left the meter up to you.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
-
Thank you, Red. I'm surprised you haven't tried one.
Comment from Dean Kuch
A Denturn--what a cool composition, Yvonne.
The beat of both the dactylic tetrameter and the anapestic tetrameter do create a gallop-like tempo, or rhythm.
The abab rhyme scheme keeps things trotting right along.
As to whether or not the spelunker survived, I give a big thumbs up for "YES"!
Great writing!
~Dean :)
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
|
A Denturn--what a cool composition, Yvonne.
The beat of both the dactylic tetrameter and the anapestic tetrameter do create a gallop-like tempo, or rhythm.
The abab rhyme scheme keeps things trotting right along.
As to whether or not the spelunker survived, I give a big thumbs up for "YES"!
Great writing!
~Dean :)
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
-
Thank you, Dean. It was very challenging, but I'm glad I tried it.
-
My pleasure--great poem! :)
Comment from Thomas Bowling
For the life of me, I can't figure out how you managed to rhyme every line. As I read, I said to myself surely this one will trip her up, but no way. You can't stop the master.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
|
For the life of me, I can't figure out how you managed to rhyme every line. As I read, I said to myself surely this one will trip her up, but no way. You can't stop the master.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
-
You do so much for my ego, dear friend. Thank you for the beautiful comments.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
This is a different poetry style I am not familiar with but it is very catchy. Love the style and the rhyme with the single word that brings it together yet turns it
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
|
This is a different poetry style I am not familiar with but it is very catchy. Love the style and the rhyme with the single word that brings it together yet turns it
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
-
Thank you. It was new to me, too.
Comment from Air Spirit
This is really an excellent poem... I thoroughly enjoyed it... your set the mood perfectly (..."Hard slamming water in cold sheets were pelting me.
Misery cloaked me, despair was a hostile guide,
thunder applauded itself in its vanity,
lightning was fierce, as I sought a safe place to hide..." Your verbiage is electric, visually descriptive and the mood tense and terse... your word choice is poetic and pleasing "...I espied a deep cavity
whittled from stone by the rusty dull blades of time..." The ONLY thing I could suggest is to make a stronger finish... because of the suspense, electricity in the mood and air, and tense build up, the ending fell somewhat flat for me... I would have to give it some thought to come up with a suggestion, but I will let you know after I give it some thought... but excellent poem.. I truly loved it..
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
|
This is really an excellent poem... I thoroughly enjoyed it... your set the mood perfectly (..."Hard slamming water in cold sheets were pelting me.
Misery cloaked me, despair was a hostile guide,
thunder applauded itself in its vanity,
lightning was fierce, as I sought a safe place to hide..." Your verbiage is electric, visually descriptive and the mood tense and terse... your word choice is poetic and pleasing "...I espied a deep cavity
whittled from stone by the rusty dull blades of time..." The ONLY thing I could suggest is to make a stronger finish... because of the suspense, electricity in the mood and air, and tense build up, the ending fell somewhat flat for me... I would have to give it some thought to come up with a suggestion, but I will let you know after I give it some thought... but excellent poem.. I truly loved it..
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
-
Thank you so much. I agree the ending was limp, but there it is. Someone suggested writing a sequel. I may do it because it would give closure to the story.
Comment from BeasPeas
Your Denturn is fabulous, but I got a headache just reading the instructions for the form. Well described throughout. One suggestion would be the very first line of the poem, replace 'were' with 'was'.
"Hard slamming water in cold sheets were (was ~ referring to the slamming water ~ not the sheets) pelting me."
Marilyn
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
|
Your Denturn is fabulous, but I got a headache just reading the instructions for the form. Well described throughout. One suggestion would be the very first line of the poem, replace 'were' with 'was'.
"Hard slamming water in cold sheets were (was ~ referring to the slamming water ~ not the sheets) pelting me."
Marilyn
Comment Written 31-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018
-
You're right. Thank you for catching that.
