Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Chapter Zehn part eins"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
31 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Seems like a luxurious place she's found to stay. Talk about luck. I honestly believe that at least half of our success at any goal is pure luck.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
  |
Seems like a luxurious place she's found to stay. Talk about luck. I honestly believe that at least half of our success at any goal is pure luck.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
-
I tend to agree, but hard work needs to be added. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from c_lucas
It looks like Shana's father will have to comes to terms about her living quarters. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
|
It looks like Shana's father will have to comes to terms about her living quarters. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
-
I think any father who cares about his daughter would be concerned. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sis Cat
Barbara, several things impressed me about this chapter:
1.) The sense of Jewish tradition and decorum, as Benjamin said, "I'm sure you know how it looks, don't you? You're staying alone with a divorced man." Jewish customs form an overlay of conflict that drives the narrative.
2.) The sense of family. Anderson, Shana, and Emily almost form an ad hoc family, as Benjamin noted. There is also conflict between this emerging family and Shana's old, traditional family--"Modern ways are not our ways."
3.) Anderson's extreme wealth impresses--ten bedrooms, and how many baths did you say? Book is almost like a fairy tale in which a woman is literally picked up from the street by a knight in shining armor and whisked away to a palace.
This is all fine writing that engages my imagination.
I found one more mistake for your to edit: "Did I hear the child correctly, that she may come to live (with) her daddy?"
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
 |
Barbara, several things impressed me about this chapter:
1.) The sense of Jewish tradition and decorum, as Benjamin said, "I'm sure you know how it looks, don't you? You're staying alone with a divorced man." Jewish customs form an overlay of conflict that drives the narrative.
2.) The sense of family. Anderson, Shana, and Emily almost form an ad hoc family, as Benjamin noted. There is also conflict between this emerging family and Shana's old, traditional family--"Modern ways are not our ways."
3.) Anderson's extreme wealth impresses--ten bedrooms, and how many baths did you say? Book is almost like a fairy tale in which a woman is literally picked up from the street by a knight in shining armor and whisked away to a palace.
This is all fine writing that engages my imagination.
I found one more mistake for your to edit: "Did I hear the child correctly, that she may come to live (with) her daddy?"
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
-
I have corrected that sentence. Shana is going to have a few internal turmoil, Anderson's moneys and the fact that he's not Jewish. Hmmmm, will love win over. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
An interesting chapter, describing well Anderson's opulence and ending with a little mystery about the divorced wife.
"Where does your mother stay?" asked Benjamin. [That seems an odd thing to ask, given her Mother and Father are divorced.]
that she may come to live her daddy? That's unusual." [I'm sure you've already corrected the missing "with" after "live".]
Good job, Barbara.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
|
An interesting chapter, describing well Anderson's opulence and ending with a little mystery about the divorced wife.
"Where does your mother stay?" asked Benjamin. [That seems an odd thing to ask, given her Mother and Father are divorced.]
that she may come to live her daddy? That's unusual." [I'm sure you've already corrected the missing "with" after "live".]
Good job, Barbara.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
-
I have added the missing with. I will work on the other sentence. Thank you for the kind review.
-
You are most welcome, Barbara. Life is awhirl. I'll try to visit more frequently.
-
I hope so, but good luck,
Comment from Ric Myworld
You really can't judge a book by it's cover. But it does fuel our first impressions as the first thing we see, and if it's bad enough, it leaves us no reason to open it. Wise up and open your eyes, Benjamin. LOL! Thanks for another fine chapter. :-)
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
|
You really can't judge a book by it's cover. But it does fuel our first impressions as the first thing we see, and if it's bad enough, it leaves us no reason to open it. Wise up and open your eyes, Benjamin. LOL! Thanks for another fine chapter. :-)
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review. I think Benjamin is so worried about Shana that he is searching for something wrong with Anderson, maybe he cause the ex-wife to be bad.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, wonderful chapter an very well written. I like how you write as a child would talk. I don't find it unusual for a child to live with the father. My daughter stayed with her father for a few years after our divorce, and this was back in 1993. But then again it was Denmark. Somewhat ahead. Great chapter. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
|
Hi Barbara, wonderful chapter an very well written. I like how you write as a child would talk. I don't find it unusual for a child to live with the father. My daughter stayed with her father for a few years after our divorce, and this was back in 1993. But then again it was Denmark. Somewhat ahead. Great chapter. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
-
In the US, even today, there has to be a huge threat for a child not to with his/her mother. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
by daddy's room. Follow me. (Daddy's)
Mom is on a bacation (vacation? or was this because she is a child)
A very well written chapter. Sorry I have missed the past few. Things are getting back to some semblance of normal. Take care, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
|
by daddy's room. Follow me. (Daddy's)
Mom is on a bacation (vacation? or was this because she is a child)
A very well written chapter. Sorry I have missed the past few. Things are getting back to some semblance of normal. Take care, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
-
I will fix Daddy's but the bacation was on purpose. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi (*<*)
= I'm thinking Dad isn't so pleased with the arrangement in the house.
= A houseful of peeps always proves interesting.
= Good chapter.
Cheers ... Jax
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
|
Hi (*<*)
= I'm thinking Dad isn't so pleased with the arrangement in the house.
= A houseful of peeps always proves interesting.
= Good chapter.
Cheers ... Jax
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
-
Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. It looks to me as if you have done a pretty good job of editing this story as I didn't find any errors to comment on. It is an interesting and well-written chapter. I will watch for more.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
|
Excellent. It looks to me as if you have done a pretty good job of editing this story as I didn't find any errors to comment on. It is an interesting and well-written chapter. I will watch for more.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sasha
Very nice work with this chapter. I think you have done a good job reassuring Shana's father and brother about her staying with Anderson. I understand the strict rules of Jewish customs. Anderson had done a lot to accommodate her and respect her upbringing. While they may still have concerns, the tour of his home should alleviate most of them. As always, I did not find any mistakes or things that needed clarifying.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
|
Very nice work with this chapter. I think you have done a good job reassuring Shana's father and brother about her staying with Anderson. I understand the strict rules of Jewish customs. Anderson had done a lot to accommodate her and respect her upbringing. While they may still have concerns, the tour of his home should alleviate most of them. As always, I did not find any mistakes or things that needed clarifying.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review. Hearing from you is always reassuring.
