Reviews from

To Last Forever

Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "America"
Poems by Michael

28 total reviews 
Comment from Bollie
Excellent
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You always write very intriguing and creative poems. Your writing is so unique and thought provoking and this is no exception. This is a very clever poem. Really nice job, keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
    Well thank you man...-smile-
    well I've lead several lives rather ah varied in experience ...I tend to draw from hand scrawled well...I thank you Sir. love Michael
reply by Bollie on 22-Aug-2016
    You're very welcome, Michael. Have a wonderful day.
reply by Anonymous Member on 22-Aug-2016
    You're very welcome, Michael. Have a wonderful day.
Comment from Ricky1024
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

America the Beautiful...
Purple, polluted Majesty...
Greed abounds around the cigarette butts of Humanity.
The Red ,White, and, Blues...
LADY LIBERTY GETS RAPED EACH DAY...
"What more cam " Uncle Sam's say?"
Ricky...


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2016
    you know Lance said something the other day I cant get out of my head...he said...are you aware there is only five hundred and some odd politions running are show cancelled.....five hundred...thats it...add their bosses and the rest of the coruption....adds up two percent of US.......what the F*^&k.....are we waiting for....ahh I dont understand anything anymore Rick. do you still have your Harley...? love Michael
Comment from livelylinda
Exceptional
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Reconciled: yes, you have said it exact . . . "harmony's gone". There is no rhythm any more. Use to be able to count on it, although sometimes boring. Idiots pointing guns at cops then entire cities inflamed because cops shot first. Are there that many stupid people on this planet? Apparently so.

God bless you, my friend. Linda

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 19-Aug-2016
    Hi Linda...-smile-
    I wrote a different one first...I didn't really feel it and it read so....so I found a song that spoke me inside....and changed it. yea harmony is missing.....but its over if its over...so we need to find a new song...together. Jesus...we fight and hate each other....because "they" insinuate and tell us we should. if only we would open our eyes and understanding ...maybe we could put one mind, one movement together....and figure US out. -smile-....haven't seen you around much. Linda tells me some....I pray you're comfortable....you know youre always welcome here. love you Michael
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi Michael,

A very emotive and moving piece you've crafted here. Great presentation. The starkness of the white on black helps to drive home the starkness of the message. A fracturing of goodness knows what magnitude.

Excellent and timely piece.

proclaiming just deserts got - desserts.

when its hot - it's.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2016
    ha...well alright. thanks G....I'll go fix it. I want people to read this crap right....-smile-...appreciate this. love michael
Comment from l.raven
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Michael, ....so many have fought and died for this land...and still she's hurting...way to much corruption going on...I think there is a lot of bad out there...but I think there are a lot who feel like you...just don't know how to fix it...I love America...maybe one day we will see peace...very well expressed...and very well written...picture PERFECT...love Linda

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2016
    really...and how's that...did somebody else tell you...?
    ah no biggie...-smile-...thank you for promoting this...but I would have myself if I wanted too....just a lil' experiment..
    I have a true love of what my Country could be, should be, was meant to be. but I'm afraid most of us have turned into trix pimped out to lies as truth. oh well cant fight city hall or Luby's ...they serve what they serve. Linda...its been pleasure speaking with you again. Hopr you have a wonderful evening. love Michael
reply by l.raven on 18-Aug-2016
    it's a writing site...it has never meant more to me than you...sorry I messed up your experiment...I was trying to help...
Comment from KyColonel Randal
Good
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Thank you for sharing. I am not sure the lack of punctuation does any favors to conveying meaning here. The phrase "every knight's interest" also needs the apostrophe. Obfuscation in general should be avoided. Thanks again for enduring my constructive criticism.

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 Comment Written 17-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 17-Aug-2016
    well your welcome constructive critic
    and I believe quite confused. Although Camelot is mentioned as well as the murder of Arthur...every knights interest is not...perhaps you have me confused with someone else...do try to be more careful in the future. good evening-
reply by KyColonel Randal on 17-Aug-2016
    My apologies. "Every knights [sic] interest sits at the round table" is at the top of a YouTube video which rests just below your poem. I thought it was an oddly formatted last lime of the poem, especially as it deals with "knights" which go along with Camelot and Arthur. There was no structure to tell me otherwise, and the backgrounds and texts matched. Please forgive this error, and ignore the comment about the apostrophe.
Comment from MizKat
Excellent
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Hi, thanks for sharing another poem.
I really enjoy reading what you write.
You're sure great at writing new ones.
I'm looking forward to your new posts.

Kat

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 17-Aug-2016
    -headtilt-...Mother...whats wrong.
    I have paid for my hunting license and my lodge....this is perfectly legal. you should be proud....-smile- whats a matter...? love you michael
reply by MizKat on 17-Aug-2016
    Hi Michael.

    I'm getting really forgetful in my old age. It's terrible when to be this way, but there's nothing I can do about it.
    I'm always proud of you. Love you too!

    Kat
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
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I think you were inspired by our performances at the Olympics to write this love letter to America. The animation certainly reinforces the first stanza and its repeat for emphasis. I was particularly impressed by your insightful line: "count on imperfection purified..." Cheers- Joan

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 Comment Written 17-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 17-Aug-2016
    Hey J...thanks Patriot...I was beginning to feel lost in these woods Mahican...make sure you leave some bread crumbs for next American. -headnod-...love to you...michael