Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Excellent story!!
-action flows smoothly
-descriptive language used
-excellent format and picture
-excellent character development
-held my interest all the way to the end




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 Comment Written 18-May-2015

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reply by the author on 18-May-2015

Thanks, Gypsy. That covers it all. :-)

Comment from Jay Squires

Exceptional

I enjoyed this, Shari. I had to go back and check: the plan for wedding seemed fictional.

I liked the way you formalized your flashback by saying, "Rewind to an hour ago. Which leads me to my only nitita (a small nit):

Rewind to an hour ago: [Paragraph Space]

And that's it. Your dialogue crackled, your narrative non-obtrusive.

 Comment Written 18-May-2015

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reply by the author on 18-May-2015

What a compliment-- to think it was fictional. It was surreal. I loved it. More fun than the traditional. Thanks for commenting on the transition. Had to work on that problem. A last minute fix. Hence the error in spacing, I suspect. Love the six coming from you and the comments about dialogue and narration. (Do you still have that curly hair in your profile picture?)

reply by Jay Squires on 18-May-2015

You're welcome. No, that was back in the sixties when everyone had Afros. It took a couple of hours in a beauty shop to get that look. I was so proud of that. I DO still have hair, except for the cutest bald spot in the back.

reply by the author on 18-May-2015

I remember when my son grew his hair long and I talked him into a permanent. He's only 43 now, but if he doesn't comb his hair right, I see a bald spot too.

Comment from Donya Quijote

Excellent

Wow! I guess emotions run high at a wedding, for some very high. From what you have revealed it doesn't seem your daughter had reason for the sudden outburst. To go from giggle to such a harsh blurted out comment, a mean comment to boot, just seems a bit of an overreaction.

I've heard a bit about Halloween weddings. They can be wild, fun, strange affairs. This one, thus far, seems strange, at least to me. What about you? What did you really think? Your description seems a bit detached. Of course, that detachment might indicate your deeper feelings. Did you feel unwelcomed? Did you dress up? What were you?

The bit at the end doesn't bode well for a happy day. I do hope you and your daughter have buried hatchet, so speak. Family is important. I know. I don't have one...

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 Comment Written 18-May-2015

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reply by the author on 18-May-2015

More about my feelings in the next post. Unwelcome, yes. It comes out at the reception. I loved the whole idea , but took it for granted that I had to stay dressed as the bride's mother (in black!)
Nichole and I buried the hatchet but it took a couple of years.
Not sure that family is that important to her though.