Haibun (the sun continues)
word count 17525 total reviews
Comment from pattipac
Mike, you have penned a horrific scene of the demise of humanity, save a pregnant woman with her unborn child, taking their last breath of toxic air. Says much about what man is capable of doing to mankind.
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Mike, you have penned a horrific scene of the demise of humanity, save a pregnant woman with her unborn child, taking their last breath of toxic air. Says much about what man is capable of doing to mankind.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2015
Comment from emrpoems
An excellent execution of the prompt.
Very profound statement in the words of the haibun. Man is never missed. He is replaceable
A very creative contribution
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An excellent execution of the prompt.
Very profound statement in the words of the haibun. Man is never missed. He is replaceable
A very creative contribution
Comment Written 03-Mar-2015
Comment from Lylise
I have no idea what the hell I'm reviewing but I did enjoy what you wrote. Where do you find these convoluted prompts?
So I'd love to tell you that you have satisfied all contest requirements and you may have. Clueless. Perhaps they may have well instructed me to post jello with this review. Again, clueless
However,
I liked the story. You should turn it into a novella.
Lynda
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I have no idea what the hell I'm reviewing but I did enjoy what you wrote. Where do you find these convoluted prompts?
So I'd love to tell you that you have satisfied all contest requirements and you may have. Clueless. Perhaps they may have well instructed me to post jello with this review. Again, clueless
However,
I liked the story. You should turn it into a novella.
Lynda
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2015
Comment from Zinnia48
This is a noble effort and stunning success at haibun (not my gift!) The science fiction theme snuck up on me. I was particularly fond of: Earth spins
in peaceful orbit
man's not missed (such profound truth). My only other piece of feedback was that I would have preferred that the prose end with: An emergency room in a hospital houses evidence there was once life there. That feels complete to me. good luck! caroline
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2015
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This is a noble effort and stunning success at haibun (not my gift!) The science fiction theme snuck up on me. I was particularly fond of: Earth spins
in peaceful orbit
man's not missed (such profound truth). My only other piece of feedback was that I would have preferred that the prose end with: An emergency room in a hospital houses evidence there was once life there. That feels complete to me. good luck! caroline
Comment Written 03-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2015
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What a wonderful review. Thank you so much. I am delighted you enjoyed it and got the message exactly as intended. I agree with your advice about the ending. It ends as you have suggested. Great tip. mikey
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I'm always thrilled to see your name in my message box. How do you find time to write so much?!! Looking forward to the next poem/story. Caroline
Comment from Pyrrho
Well done. Your second satori is close to a thought I often express and to which I seldom receive a reaction ... Man will destroy mankind and the earth will be a better place for it.
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Well done. Your second satori is close to a thought I often express and to which I seldom receive a reaction ... Man will destroy mankind and the earth will be a better place for it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2015
