Texas Dream Catcher
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "CHAPTER OCHO; PART CUATRO"Drug & human trafficking, can romance win?
33 total reviews
Comment from mumsyone
Good chapter, Barbara. Getting very interesting.
"I think I saw Kuruk standing by the head table(,) talking with some men."
About a (omit 'a') half an hour later,
They walked until the (they) came to the area where the trailer had set (better: had been).
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Good chapter, Barbara. Getting very interesting.
"I think I saw Kuruk standing by the head table(,) talking with some men."
About a (omit 'a') half an hour later,
They walked until the (they) came to the area where the trailer had set (better: had been).
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, Barbara, you did an excellent job finishing the story about the creation in the indian folklore. I spotted one error==should be I doubt I can finish it instead of I doubt I can it finish. I thought it was duallie inatead of duellie.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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this is an excellent write, Barbara, you did an excellent job finishing the story about the creation in the indian folklore. I spotted one error==should be I doubt I can finish it instead of I doubt I can it finish. I thought it was duallie inatead of duellie.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and I will make that correction.
Comment from Curly Girly
Another well written chapter. I felt the word TRACKS was redundant the second time:
"These tracks weren't made by the old pickup that was here. They're fresh tracks."
Suggest:
"These tracks weren't made by the old pickup that was here, they're fresh."
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Another well written chapter. I felt the word TRACKS was redundant the second time:
"These tracks weren't made by the old pickup that was here. They're fresh tracks."
Suggest:
"These tracks weren't made by the old pickup that was here, they're fresh."
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. I will take care of that.
Comment from donaldww
The party is over; Soni and Jim investigate the area where a trailer had previously been seen. The reader will have to wait until next post to find out if they discovered anything beyond the "duelie" tire tracks, and what those tracks may mean.
They walked until the came to the area where the trailer had set[sat].
or
They walked until the came to the area where the trailer had [been] set.
Everything from "Kuruk and Soni headed toward the house...." to the end is italicized. I think that may be a formatting problem.
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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The party is over; Soni and Jim investigate the area where a trailer had previously been seen. The reader will have to wait until next post to find out if they discovered anything beyond the "duelie" tire tracks, and what those tracks may mean.
They walked until the came to the area where the trailer had set[sat].
or
They walked until the came to the area where the trailer had [been] set.
Everything from "Kuruk and Soni headed toward the house...." to the end is italicized. I think that may be a formatting problem.
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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I will check that area. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from boxergirl
Wow. Goliath and Mack live up to their names. Both appear to be HUGE. I have a feeling they will come in handy down the road. Nice addition with the creation story. 8-)
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Wow. Goliath and Mack live up to their names. Both appear to be HUGE. I have a feeling they will come in handy down the road. Nice addition with the creation story. 8-)
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the kind review.. I had a great Pyrenees and I loved him. He was so gentle.
Comment from emrpoems
Good use of dialogue
Good story plan and well developed to afford the reader an enjoyable read
Good descriptive language
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Good use of dialogue
Good story plan and well developed to afford the reader an enjoyable read
Good descriptive language
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Kuruk and Soni headed toward his house. [Why did you continue from here to the end in italics? It's my understanding that one of the things a Literary agent or editor look for, as a reason to reject a manuscript is the over-use of italics.]
Good content, Barbara. Could find no SPAG.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Kuruk and Soni headed toward his house. [Why did you continue from here to the end in italics? It's my understanding that one of the things a Literary agent or editor look for, as a reason to reject a manuscript is the over-use of italics.]
Good content, Barbara. Could find no SPAG.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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I left off an > so it messed up. It should be corrected. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
I truly wait all week for these, and they're always worth the wait--six stars worth! I think Soni should take her cue from the dogs and trust Jim. They certainly do. It was enjoyable the way Soni worries about the dogs despite their size and shows that she treats them as babies when she says Mack is smaller than Goliath. There is obviously trouble brewing, especially as Soni and Jim notice fresh tracks and her grandfather warns her to hurry home. People would have good reason to go after her ranch. judi
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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I truly wait all week for these, and they're always worth the wait--six stars worth! I think Soni should take her cue from the dogs and trust Jim. They certainly do. It was enjoyable the way Soni worries about the dogs despite their size and shows that she treats them as babies when she says Mack is smaller than Goliath. There is obviously trouble brewing, especially as Soni and Jim notice fresh tracks and her grandfather warns her to hurry home. People would have good reason to go after her ranch. judi
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and your wonderful support.
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You're welcome. Every week, it's great to read your chapters. judi
Comment from Sankey
Great reading again. Glad we are back onto this. Hope your son is doing ok. Only mone little spag this time.
"I doubt I can (-it) finish (+it).
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Great reading again. Glad we are back onto this. Hope your son is doing ok. Only mone little spag this time.
"I doubt I can (-it) finish (+it).
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the catch. I appreciate it.
Comment from Ben Colder
Another goodie Barbara. Looks as if you did a good job on self editing. The story still has an interest and I am wondering who is doing all the spying. Shalom my friend.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Another goodie Barbara. Looks as if you did a good job on self editing. The story still has an interest and I am wondering who is doing all the spying. Shalom my friend.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoy hearing from you.
