Kiwi Facts
Our national symbol55 total reviews
Comment from RGstar
Great author's notes. I learned something new today in which I am surely grateful.
This write was catchy and humorous. I smiled all the way through.
Good write,
Best wishes, and have a good day.
RG
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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Great author's notes. I learned something new today in which I am surely grateful.
This write was catchy and humorous. I smiled all the way through.
Good write,
Best wishes, and have a good day.
RG
Comment Written 29-May-2014
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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Thanks, RG - glad you got a smile out of this.
Steve
Comment from Mark Valentine
As entertaining as it is informative. I was unfamiliar with the Whitney as a form- I read the rules after having read the poem. I'm guessing writing this was harder than it looks. The poem flowed so well I'd never have guessed that you had to make it fit a airly rigid form. Not sure if the rhyme scheme you chose (A-A-B-C-D-D-C)is endemic to the Whitney, but it fits the form perfectly.
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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As entertaining as it is informative. I was unfamiliar with the Whitney as a form- I read the rules after having read the poem. I'm guessing writing this was harder than it looks. The poem flowed so well I'd never have guessed that you had to make it fit a airly rigid form. Not sure if the rhyme scheme you chose (A-A-B-C-D-D-C)is endemic to the Whitney, but it fits the form perfectly.
Comment Written 29-May-2014
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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Mark, thanks for the great review and the six stars.
Yes, getting this to flow smoothly within the syllable restrictions was a bit of a mission - glad to hear you think I succeeded.
I believe the Whitney doesn't have to rhyme at all, but for this contest it was demanded, so I felt free to invent my own scheme.
Steve
Comment from nancyjam
I love it. Your humorous double Whitney about
the kiwi is sure to win.(I was right last time)
Perfect form as to syllable count and clever rhymes
add to the fun. I wish you the best in the contest. Nancy
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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I love it. Your humorous double Whitney about
the kiwi is sure to win.(I was right last time)
Perfect form as to syllable count and clever rhymes
add to the fun. I wish you the best in the contest. Nancy
Comment Written 29-May-2014
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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And it seems you are right again, and I even had to knock off Brook with her legion of fans...
Yes, I did have fun with this - thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from royowen
This is a very humorous poem in this double Whitney rhyming poem. There was a program in Australia saying the kiwi is related the emu! I don't know, maybe! This was a nice lighthearted poem that is like a breath of fresh air when compared to the ultra serious poem I see abroad, it's also well written and qualifies too! Well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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This is a very humorous poem in this double Whitney rhyming poem. There was a program in Australia saying the kiwi is related the emu! I don't know, maybe! This was a nice lighthearted poem that is like a breath of fresh air when compared to the ultra serious poem I see abroad, it's also well written and qualifies too! Well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 29-May-2014
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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Thanks, Roy.
I decided to write a humorous piece after reading Adewpearl's funny entry and the two of us ended up battling it out. Cuteness factor of the kiwi pulled it off.
Yes, the kiwi is related to the emu - the new research based on DNA shows it is even more closely related to the elephant bird.
Steve
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You did well, I read hers as well, congratulations, and well done! Roy.
Comment from Adri7enne
Beautifully rhymed and perfect meter. A real pleasure. It just bounces along, creating vivid images in my mind. "it's like a bleedin' pumpkin!" Big eggs! LOL! Good luck in the contest.
Interesting notes, too.
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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Beautifully rhymed and perfect meter. A real pleasure. It just bounces along, creating vivid images in my mind. "it's like a bleedin' pumpkin!" Big eggs! LOL! Good luck in the contest.
Interesting notes, too.
Comment Written 29-May-2014
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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Thank you! It was a fun poem to write.
Steve
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
You did this awkward form justice, nice rhythm and rhyme, a delight to read. By any chance does this cute little ball of fluff drink Guinness stout? Good luck if you need it. Kenny
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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You did this awkward form justice, nice rhythm and rhyme, a delight to read. By any chance does this cute little ball of fluff drink Guinness stout? Good luck if you need it. Kenny
Comment Written 29-May-2014
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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Thanks, Kenny.
I doubt if the kiwi would favour Guinness.... home-brew perhaps.
Steve
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Good for him, that's the best.
Comment from Jackarrie
This is a great write, I love it. The image of the kiwi goes so well with the poem. I do hope the the kiwi survives extinction
It is a fun one to read
good luck in the contest.
Mary
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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This is a great write, I love it. The image of the kiwi goes so well with the poem. I do hope the the kiwi survives extinction
It is a fun one to read
good luck in the contest.
Mary
Comment Written 29-May-2014
reply by the author on 30-May-2014
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Thanks, Mary.
Steve
Comment from mfowler
All that effort to lay such a big egg. It seems like a life long purpose. You are so right when you say that it's done well to survive European encroachment.Having know a few strapping Kiwis, I'm glad that the description 'Kiwi bird,
you look absurd,your hairy body's flightless' applies to your bird not the people of same coloquial name. I had to say that after your point about the emu. This is a fun entry for the double whitney contest. It is done with a touch of whimsy, but also, I suspect a modicum of national pride. It's a modest national icon, very much in the mould of Kiwis themselves. (I hope that sounds like a compliment). I love your stress on the egg laying:
Doff my hat
for laying that -
it's like a bleedin' pumpkin!
reply by the author on 29-May-2014
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All that effort to lay such a big egg. It seems like a life long purpose. You are so right when you say that it's done well to survive European encroachment.Having know a few strapping Kiwis, I'm glad that the description 'Kiwi bird,
you look absurd,your hairy body's flightless' applies to your bird not the people of same coloquial name. I had to say that after your point about the emu. This is a fun entry for the double whitney contest. It is done with a touch of whimsy, but also, I suspect a modicum of national pride. It's a modest national icon, very much in the mould of Kiwis themselves. (I hope that sounds like a compliment). I love your stress on the egg laying:
Doff my hat
for laying that -
it's like a bleedin' pumpkin!
Comment Written 29-May-2014
reply by the author on 29-May-2014
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Thank you so much!
Yes, it's probably true to say that most kiwis (the people) are quietly proud of their rather unusual icon, and that pride swells immensely when we occasionally manage to trip up our bigger brothers on the sporting field.
Steve
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Nice one!
I think the haka just sends the Wallabies into a panic.
Comment from adewpearl
Steve, this is adorably funny :-) The rhyming is spot on and the syllable count is perfect for the Whitney. Great use of consistent meter and enjambment make for excellent cadence and flow. The humor has me doubled over in laughter and the bumpkin/pumpkin pairing alone is worth the price of admission :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 29-May-2014
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Steve, this is adorably funny :-) The rhyming is spot on and the syllable count is perfect for the Whitney. Great use of consistent meter and enjambment make for excellent cadence and flow. The humor has me doubled over in laughter and the bumpkin/pumpkin pairing alone is worth the price of admission :-) Brooke
Comment Written 29-May-2014
reply by the author on 29-May-2014
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Thanks, Brooke.
pumpkin/bumpkin are words that are just made for humorous rhyming...
As for syllable count - I originally had 'I doff my hat' which sounded fine and was better grammatically. I was a bit disgusted when I double checked and found it had one extra syllable. Luckily no one's complained about the fix yet.
Looks like a duel between me and you.... pistols at dawn?
Steve
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Good glory, pistols? I get hives just being in the same room with a gun, and if you're thinking swords, well they are just a tad too sharp. :-) I suggest we just share a lemonade when it's all over ;-)
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
good rhyme in your double Whitney
good vivid images to portray the message of the large Kiwi bird and the large egg that mum laid and dad does the sitting
cheers ..Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 29-May-2014
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good luck in the contest
good rhyme in your double Whitney
good vivid images to portray the message of the large Kiwi bird and the large egg that mum laid and dad does the sitting
cheers ..Smoothiecool
Comment Written 29-May-2014
reply by the author on 29-May-2014
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Thank you, Smoothie
Steve
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most welcome..SC
