Comment from Oatmeal

Excellent

kiwisteveh,

The theme well thought out. In fact, we hired a company to pack us up and move us when we moved here. The descriptions were done well. The characters made me smile. The story line flowed well.

I saw no SPAG and no typos. It was very clean.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013

Thank you.

Steve

reply by Oatmeal on 27-Nov-2013

Steve,

You are very welcome.

Love you,

Camille

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

You introduce your main characters effectively
As he grew to know us more, - I added the comma
the intrepid pair, who were busy - add comma
Standing between rock and trailer, he - add comma
What a shift in mood!!! This was so so funny and then a tragic ending that caught me totally by surprise. Well, that sure had to be horrible for all of you. Brooke

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013

Thanks, brooke.

Yes, I wanted the surprise ending to reflect the shock of what actually happened - right out of the blue.

Steve

Comment from NIKEMIKE

Excellent

I must elaborate on the fine job you did of description ,,,,that was ah good read that kept me intruiged, to keep reading ,,, by the details in the descriptions

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 Comment Written 24-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013

Thanks, Mike

Steve

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

That was a completely unexpected ending. I can't believe they were allowed to move a single object and not dismissed the moment they arrived. There is something doing yourself. Well told tale.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013

Thank you

Steve