Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

Ah, fickle time, the pickle! It teases us then robs us.
Oi, knock it off!

I like your light-hearted entry for the Love Poem contest.
The love is truly implied by the length of your affair, and the gentle way you can mock it.

Good luck, Steve.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013

Mocking, what mocking...

Thanks, lee.

Steve

Comment from Stephen Wolff

Excellent

A very wry little poem! Well written and expressed and with some inventive structures and rhymes. A well-worn theme though.

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013

Thanks, Stephen.

Steve

Comment from Paul Sienicki

Excellent

When we first loved, my love, the flames
Raged hot with passion's torch.

These lines say it all. Love is like a fire burning and consuming, sustaining our days of life. And until the end the true love will persevere and those who did not believe in our love are put to shame. Thank you for sharing this profound piece of romantic literature.

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013

Thanks for reviewing.

'profound romantic literature' it's not!

Steve

Comment from visionary1234

Excellent

oh you gave me a chuckle with this one Steve - love your distinctively Oceanic (meaning almost-good-enough-to-be-an-Aussie) sense of humor. Here was I, expecting to see the softer, gentler side of kiwi in those first two lines ... and then Oi!
A novel entry!
;)S

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013

Yeah, started off to write something serious but couldn't keep it up (tee hee) and you'll have to tell me more about the novel entry!

Steve

reply by visionary1234 on 16-Nov-2013

'novel' meaning 'unusual/ unique' dear! though knowing you, you could probably sustain it for the length of a novel, probably in perfect anapestic! :)))))

reply by visionary1234 on 16-Nov-2013

'novel' meaning 'unusual/ unique' dear! though knowing you, you could probably sustain it for the length of a novel, probably in perfect anapestic! :)))))

Comment from Firead

Excellent

That is very funny and clever. I love the colours and artwork you've chosen to present your poem. Good rhyme and repitition is well used. I enjoyed the ride through life with you.
Very clever and witty work.
Thanks.

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013

thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from SaluteDobby

Excellent

Aww.. this was simply fantastic, Steve. You paint a heart-warming picture in the 1st 3 stanzas...the passion shared between the couple made me smile. The ending is a bit sad.. But that's how it is, I guess!!

All the best with the contest!!

Regards,
Namratha

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013

Thanks, Namratha.

all good things must come to an end....

Steve

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Ah,>/I> but that's where you're wrong, kiwisteveh. Your narrator obviously remembers, or he wouldn't have said it, LOL...

This was a great, lighthearted look at love, how it begins in the beginning to be a burning, white hot passionate thing, to a ripe, old age, where love is, well... you just gotta take it as it comes.

Excellent rhyming, great presentation with the flaming lettering.

Really great job!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013

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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013

Thanks, Dean

You're not even going to allow the poor old guy a tiny bit of poetic licence???

yes, this is just a funny poem - there are all sorts of ways for older people to express love.

Steve

reply by Dean Kuch on 16-Nov-2013

Hah ha, I loved it, Steve!