Paranormal Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "At the Precipice"Case Studies of Hauntings
56 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Bev. Outstanding chapter here. I don't recall this before. Or did I just miss the chapter? At any rate I love your imagery and dialogue in this piece. Like:
"The van hit an area of crumbled black-top sloping downhill and lurched to the right, lifting everyone into the air like handfuls of confetti."
And: "Emma was last to enter and felt something brush against her leg. She gasped at the unexpected intrusion and scanned the floor for the culprit. A beautiful Himalayan cat circled her ankles purring like a revved-up engine."
Also: "Emma was last to enter and felt something brush against her leg. She gasped at the unexpected intrusion and scanned the floor for the culprit. A beautiful Himalayan cat circled her ankles purring like a revved-up engine."
Incidentally, Bev, I see by your notes that you may run into the same thing I am with my revived book. I just had a guy today who had to jump the gun and I felt like a fool. I wondered about that when I posted and asked tom about the possibility. He said quote: "Most people won't do that."
LOL. Bravo with your re-do and this chapter in particular for explaining a few things about paranormal events etc. Blessings. XX Bob
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
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Hi, Bev. Outstanding chapter here. I don't recall this before. Or did I just miss the chapter? At any rate I love your imagery and dialogue in this piece. Like:
"The van hit an area of crumbled black-top sloping downhill and lurched to the right, lifting everyone into the air like handfuls of confetti."
And: "Emma was last to enter and felt something brush against her leg. She gasped at the unexpected intrusion and scanned the floor for the culprit. A beautiful Himalayan cat circled her ankles purring like a revved-up engine."
Also: "Emma was last to enter and felt something brush against her leg. She gasped at the unexpected intrusion and scanned the floor for the culprit. A beautiful Himalayan cat circled her ankles purring like a revved-up engine."
Incidentally, Bev, I see by your notes that you may run into the same thing I am with my revived book. I just had a guy today who had to jump the gun and I felt like a fool. I wondered about that when I posted and asked tom about the possibility. He said quote: "Most people won't do that."
LOL. Bravo with your re-do and this chapter in particular for explaining a few things about paranormal events etc. Blessings. XX Bob
Comment Written 14-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
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Hi, Bob
Thank you for highlighting those areas. Always helpful to get advice from such a superior writer, especially when it comes to POV and descriptions.
I first wrote this when I joined the site almost five years ago. Boy has my writing changed. All the classes,
books I read on writing and great reviewers like you have helped so much. In fact, when I read the original of
this chapter, it was I who was embarrassed.
Actually, I don't agree with Tom on that reading ahead issue. I think people who get caught up in your story naturally want to read ahead. Jay Squires, who is always such a wonderful reviewer, suggested to me adding notes to the body of the post. He does that, too. That way, the reader will likely read it and then it's their choice whether to go ahead.
You've put a great big smile on my face this morning, Bob. Thanks so much.
:) Bev
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LOL. Funny you should say that because I too have found my writing and ideas have sharpened up a bit in over the last five years since I first posted my book. You will be fine. It's actually fun, isn't it? X Bob
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Most of the time it is, Bob. I just bought two more books on writing, so I hope that like Spring, some new life will appear. :)) xx
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Have you read stephen King's book called "On Writing" It's great. :) Bob
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Yes, I agree it's a terrific book.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Golly, I have become swept up in the drama. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up when that cat screeched!! This is such a drama-filled story I found it most enjoyable,Bev. Paranormal must be a difficult genre to write, Giddy
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Golly, I have become swept up in the drama. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up when that cat screeched!! This is such a drama-filled story I found it most enjoyable,Bev. Paranormal must be a difficult genre to write, Giddy
Comment Written 14-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Thanks so much, Giddy. I don't find it difficult as I've made it a lifelong study. I appreciate your support for the chapter.
:) Bev
Comment from Dean Kuch
"An inch of snow had accumulated, blurring the edges of the road. Low-lying clouds hid the starlight, and a crescent moon provided bare illumination. Mike's fingers gripped the wheel as if it was a life vest. I feel like a fly that's smack in the middle of a white canvas."-------It's the attention to detail that fascinates me most about your writing, Bev. You have that rare ability that so few possess. You're able to place us in the setting and help us envision it--through your words--as if we were actually there. That isn't a skill that can be taught. It's more of an inherent skill, I believe, one that either you possess, or you don't...
Luke twisted in her direction. "Are you nuts? We've all had personal experiences unlike anything we've encountered before. The potential for concrete, physical corroboration for our experiences through what we recorded in the library makes this a no-brainer. We've got to see this case through to the end!"
..............Of course Luke is going to feel this way, especially after everything they'd seen. What self-respecting paranormal investigator worth his or her weight in ectoplasm wouldn't feel exactly the same way?
Emma took a deep breath and let it out. "I shouldn't have agreed to come given my other responsibilities."..............Emma's leaving the invesatigation...to play figgin' volleyball?!? Is she NUTS, or what. What a fantastic opportunity Bellingham Manor has presented itself to be for the team. You couldn't pry me outta there with five pounds of Vasoline and a tire iron, heh-heh.
Great writing, as always, Bev. I enjoyed reading this revised chapter of Paranormal Adventures.
Keep it up!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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"An inch of snow had accumulated, blurring the edges of the road. Low-lying clouds hid the starlight, and a crescent moon provided bare illumination. Mike's fingers gripped the wheel as if it was a life vest. I feel like a fly that's smack in the middle of a white canvas."-------It's the attention to detail that fascinates me most about your writing, Bev. You have that rare ability that so few possess. You're able to place us in the setting and help us envision it--through your words--as if we were actually there. That isn't a skill that can be taught. It's more of an inherent skill, I believe, one that either you possess, or you don't...
Luke twisted in her direction. "Are you nuts? We've all had personal experiences unlike anything we've encountered before. The potential for concrete, physical corroboration for our experiences through what we recorded in the library makes this a no-brainer. We've got to see this case through to the end!"
..............Of course Luke is going to feel this way, especially after everything they'd seen. What self-respecting paranormal investigator worth his or her weight in ectoplasm wouldn't feel exactly the same way?
Emma took a deep breath and let it out. "I shouldn't have agreed to come given my other responsibilities."..............Emma's leaving the invesatigation...to play figgin' volleyball?!? Is she NUTS, or what. What a fantastic opportunity Bellingham Manor has presented itself to be for the team. You couldn't pry me outta there with five pounds of Vasoline and a tire iron, heh-heh.
Great writing, as always, Bev. I enjoyed reading this revised chapter of Paranormal Adventures.
Keep it up!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Dean, thank you very much for this very generous and awesome review. Your reviews are always so clever and thorough. You seem to have a real knack for hitting on the most important points in my chapters. I certainly appreciate that about you.
Hehe, volleyball would not be my first choice either! No way, Jose.
You rock, Dean! Love the signature line. Wish I had the savy to use the technology like you do.
:) Bev
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You are so welcome, Bev.
You say you wish you had the tech savvy I do? Well, I wish I could write as half as well as you do.
Great writing here!
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Aw, you are so kind, Dean. One of the nicest people on this site, I have to say. You win all kinds of contests, yet you are never arrogant or cruel. Hats off, my friend.
:)
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Hey, even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then, Bev. LOL...
But thanks for sayin' so just the same. ;)
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hahahaha
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Hey, even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then, Bev. LOL...
But thanks for sayin' so just the same. ;)
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Hey, even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then, Bev. LOL...
But thanks for sayin' so just the same. ;)
Comment from Aussie
This is right up my alley. Psychic, I am. 'Blurring the edges of the road' great description of danger to come. People are not always what they want others to believe what they are; good at acting, dark forces gather. And yes, physically drained and mentally exhausted from being on alert' that sentence describes exactly what the dark side does to ordinary folk. Gets them so low they have to give in because they are fragile. Electric candles illuminated the front-facing windows' lighting a candle in the window brings the angels to you and also your loved ones home. Jesus said "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works that glorify your Father in heaven. I find your writing inspired by Spirit. Have you been writing these chapters recently? Maybe I have miss some? Well done my friend :-) XX
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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This is right up my alley. Psychic, I am. 'Blurring the edges of the road' great description of danger to come. People are not always what they want others to believe what they are; good at acting, dark forces gather. And yes, physically drained and mentally exhausted from being on alert' that sentence describes exactly what the dark side does to ordinary folk. Gets them so low they have to give in because they are fragile. Electric candles illuminated the front-facing windows' lighting a candle in the window brings the angels to you and also your loved ones home. Jesus said "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works that glorify your Father in heaven. I find your writing inspired by Spirit. Have you been writing these chapters recently? Maybe I have miss some? Well done my friend :-) XX
Comment Written 14-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Hi, Kay
Thanks for the wonderfully supportive and positive review. I can feel that you really get this 'stuff'.
Actually, I started this novel back when I joined the site about five years ago. I plan to finish it this time! Plus, I like to think my writing is quite a bit better after all this time LoL.
Thank you also, Kay, for mentioning the inspiration of Holy Spirit. I'm honored to be doing a good work and, hopefully, getting the word out that dark forces are gathering.
All the best, my friend.
Bev XXO
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Bev, I consider you a cyber-mate, love to read and talk with you. Where in the States are you? :-)
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I'm in Michigan, Kay. My e-mail address is bevanddan@hotmail.com. Send me a note anytime!
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Hi Bev, gotcha email address; mine is kay.steward@yahoo.com.au. Hugs :-)XX
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Great... you'll be hearing from me. XX Bev
Comment from Connie C
Hi Bev,
Great description of Mia and her experience ("sucking her energy like a horde of leaches" "leaving her with the sense of profound isolation")
-It was a little unclear about the italicized quotes here and there---not sure who it is speaking.
-great way to end the chapter--leaves one wanting to know what's happening next
-not a single span that I can see (and I love to look for them)
I apologize for the incomplete sentences here, but I'm so behind in reviewing and didn't want to miss your wonderful writing. Hope all is well with you, my friend.
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Hi Bev,
Great description of Mia and her experience ("sucking her energy like a horde of leaches" "leaving her with the sense of profound isolation")
-It was a little unclear about the italicized quotes here and there---not sure who it is speaking.
-great way to end the chapter--leaves one wanting to know what's happening next
-not a single span that I can see (and I love to look for them)
I apologize for the incomplete sentences here, but I'm so behind in reviewing and didn't want to miss your wonderful writing. Hope all is well with you, my friend.
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 14-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Hi, Connie. Thank you for your grand review. I appreciate your support and encouragement. Generally the italicized areas would be the internal thoughts of the character, except for one biblical quote. I'll go back and see if that needs to be more clear for the reader. Thanks again!
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Joan E.
Your intriguing artwork selection helps to establish the mood for this chapter. I appreciated your notes about how working in the paranormal field takes a great toll. Mia's sense of "isolation" underscores your point. I admired your many similes: "life vest," "fly," "confetti" and "leaches". You certainly left us on the edge of our seats with the cat screeching past the "locked" door. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Your intriguing artwork selection helps to establish the mood for this chapter. I appreciated your notes about how working in the paranormal field takes a great toll. Mia's sense of "isolation" underscores your point. I admired your many similes: "life vest," "fly," "confetti" and "leaches". You certainly left us on the edge of our seats with the cat screeching past the "locked" door. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 14-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Hi, Joan
Thanks for this very generous review. I really appreciate your ongoing support and encouragement. And I also appreciate you mentioning the similes. I have to really work on those!
Have a great week!
Hugs, Bev
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Your efforts always pay off! Hug- Joan
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So kind of you, Joan. XX Bev
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Bev
= What a great chapter, and a super hook at the end!
= Your notes were a nice detail.
= I never thought about someone doing that type of work getting burned out on it. When I stop and think about it, makes absolute sense.
= As always, a great edit on this.
* Cheers & Blessings *
Keep Smilin'... Jackie/Jax (*>*)
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Hi, Bev
= What a great chapter, and a super hook at the end!
= Your notes were a nice detail.
= I never thought about someone doing that type of work getting burned out on it. When I stop and think about it, makes absolute sense.
= As always, a great edit on this.
* Cheers & Blessings *
Keep Smilin'... Jackie/Jax (*>*)
Comment Written 14-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Thanks so much, Jax. I'm very grateful for the editing assistance because I get so caught up in the storytelling that I lose sight of the details.
I really appreciate your ongoing support and encouragement.
Probably the most famous psychic/medium of all time was Edgar Cayce. He was a deeply religious man who fought his abilities for a very long time. Eventually, he was of great service to those who came to him. But the cost was that he died
quite young - in his 50's.
:) Bev
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I can see how it might become all-consuming.
You tell it well, my friend. (*<*)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I have no clue how I missed this the first time around but I am extremely glad I have caught it this time. You have a great story on your hand. You usually do.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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I have no clue how I missed this the first time around but I am extremely glad I have caught it this time. You have a great story on your hand. You usually do.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Thanks so much, Barbara. I really appreciate your generosity and support. I've a special feeling for this type of writing as I've had my own experiences in dealing with the supernatural - as I think many more people do than are willing to admit it. I think that's why I resonate so strongly with Kuruk and Soni's connection in your novel.
Have an excellent week!
:) Bev
Comment from BruceMiller
I am not a great fan of work in this category; however I did find this chapter to be interesting. It certainly was not boring, and the writing was better than good. Also, it's refreshing to read something written by an author the has a good knowledge of punctuation. I have to say you did a good job.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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I am not a great fan of work in this category; however I did find this chapter to be interesting. It certainly was not boring, and the writing was better than good. Also, it's refreshing to read something written by an author the has a good knowledge of punctuation. I have to say you did a good job.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Hi, BruceMiller. Thank you for reading outside the box! I appreciate your insights and the mention of the punctuation. I do use an editor most of the time before I post. Can't catch everything when you're caught up in the glamour of your own words LoL.
:) Bev
Comment from DonandVicki
This is a very exciting story that has not been explored by writers very often and not to the depth that you have written. I am looking forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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This is a very exciting story that has not been explored by writers very often and not to the depth that you have written. I am looking forward to reading more.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2016
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Hi D&V. Thanks so much for this very supportive and encouraging review. Glad you liked the chapter! More to come...
:) Bev
