Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Chapter 8; part 3"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
56 total reviews
Comment from Laidy
i liked reading yet another one of your chaptered pardts. i like the details you always put into these readings. its a great book.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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i liked reading yet another one of your chaptered pardts. i like the details you always put into these readings. its a great book.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your review and support.
Comment from Lynnda
Nice scene, both of the characters are well developed and the scene flows smoothly.
One question: if she's been in a safe house and fears being murdered, where is her protection in a hospital? One exhausted husband doesn't seem to be enough.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Nice scene, both of the characters are well developed and the scene flows smoothly.
One question: if she's been in a safe house and fears being murdered, where is her protection in a hospital? One exhausted husband doesn't seem to be enough.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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The other men are there. I mentioned that when they went to the hospital. The men followed them to the helicopter.
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Sorry. I thought by the way it was written that the men didn't go any farther than TO the helicopter.
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I need to recheck that then. Thank you for catching it.
Comment from iamjoeyC
OK this is good and what do you mean men wont like it I say how insecure is that, you talk about her being naked twice so now I got to go back and see why, and who is this future husband guy she is already married to the guy see wants.
don't tell me I am going back to find these things out for myself.
it is very easy read, one of the things i need to work on, but the engineer in me keeps say more detail more detail
fun read what do you have in the stores I want to buy one for the wife.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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OK this is good and what do you mean men wont like it I say how insecure is that, you talk about her being naked twice so now I got to go back and see why, and who is this future husband guy she is already married to the guy see wants.
don't tell me I am going back to find these things out for myself.
it is very easy read, one of the things i need to work on, but the engineer in me keeps say more detail more detail
fun read what do you have in the stores I want to buy one for the wife.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Steven married her because her father had an arranged marriage so they could make their drug cartel larger. She passed out in the shower by taking a shower while sick. Nothing yet. I don't have time to push them. I will work on that during spring break.
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My girl Rainey and her Prince Tyrang have the desire for mad passion just no opportunity they are bound by honor and pledge to a mother of course in Rainey's case it is not because of morality her mother demands but because of a secret not yet known by Rainey
I thing the tease and near miss of the physical is what makes it appealing, at least to me I have never written any romance save but a fell dirty letters to my miss.
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I think up to a point, less is more in romance, but sometimes it comes to the point where true intimacy is required, but it can't be forced. It must be true making love and not sex. Sex will not work in a romance. It needs to be a natural progession of the romance. Does that make since?
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Yes as my wife has explained many time, thats why i worried about the near miss of my heroine in her encounter with the ogres but I was looking for shook value and villainy on their part it was the only thing I could think of worse then being eaten for supper.
Comment from Alaskastory
The description of Leya's symptoms brings her illness into focus. I like the way feelings between the two are building.
I searched hard but didn't find a thing to edit, but maybe the doctor could sound a bit more professional than saying,"Mrs. Albright may not survive this toxic stage of yellow fever." Might be helpful to turn the sentence around like 'This is the toxic stage of yellow fever that is most often lethal. We will fight to save Mrs. Albright' or some such. With or without changed, this part of Chapter 8 is well done and makes for a good read.
Good job, Barbara!
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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The description of Leya's symptoms brings her illness into focus. I like the way feelings between the two are building.
I searched hard but didn't find a thing to edit, but maybe the doctor could sound a bit more professional than saying,"Mrs. Albright may not survive this toxic stage of yellow fever." Might be helpful to turn the sentence around like 'This is the toxic stage of yellow fever that is most often lethal. We will fight to save Mrs. Albright' or some such. With or without changed, this part of Chapter 8 is well done and makes for a good read.
Good job, Barbara!
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Thank you for the review. Your suggestion is very good. I like it.
Comment from fictionwriter
I wonder if Leya is going to make it through. Why does Steven keep trying to convince himself that he doesn't care? So manlike. Great job.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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I wonder if Leya is going to make it through. Why does Steven keep trying to convince himself that he doesn't care? So manlike. Great job.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Steven can only act like what he is, a man. Thank you for the review.
Comment from lola29
I really enjoyed this chapter--very sweet and tender. I think I'm in love with Steven; he's so gentle and caring. It easy to see that he and Leya care very deeply about each other.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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I really enjoyed this chapter--very sweet and tender. I think I'm in love with Steven; he's so gentle and caring. It easy to see that he and Leya care very deeply about each other.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind words. I am glad you feel that way about Steven. It means his character is working.
Comment from Mengleoh67
An excellent chapter! Lots of action and emotion to keep the pace of the story. Exceptional character interaction and dialogue and as always the perfect hook into the next chapter.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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An excellent chapter! Lots of action and emotion to keep the pace of the story. Exceptional character interaction and dialogue and as always the perfect hook into the next chapter.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind words and the 6 stars. I appreciate them very much.
Comment from jayhawk67
Leya seems quite vulnerable due to her illness, so if Peggy makes some kind of high handed move, it will give us more reason to dislike her. Steven seems pretty vulnerable as well. Look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Leya seems quite vulnerable due to her illness, so if Peggy makes some kind of high handed move, it will give us more reason to dislike her. Steven seems pretty vulnerable as well. Look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Thank you for the kind review. We will see Peggy again.
Comment from Joan E.
I liked the gentleness you portrayed in this chapter. Your "razor stubble" phrase was very descriptive and sotto voce italics quite effective. Her sudden "bleeding" came as a surprise and added to the tension.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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I liked the gentleness you portrayed in this chapter. Your "razor stubble" phrase was very descriptive and sotto voce italics quite effective. Her sudden "bleeding" came as a surprise and added to the tension.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from adewpearl
What a tender chapter as we see the depth of his devotion to Leya and we see Leya reaching out to Steven for strength - when people are in this sort of life-threatening situation, they will let their guard down, and that is just what these two needed. Now she just has to survive so they can benefit from this!! Brooke
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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What a tender chapter as we see the depth of his devotion to Leya and we see Leya reaching out to Steven for strength - when people are in this sort of life-threatening situation, they will let their guard down, and that is just what these two needed. Now she just has to survive so they can benefit from this!! Brooke
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2010
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It is very touch and go for Leya. Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your support.
