rondels and rondeaus
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "As Crowds Pass By"rondels and rondeaus
97 total reviews
Comment from LYLE
Brooke,
I see so much of what you have described in this piece. But I don't think that I could ever sit in judgement, because the only thought that I have when I see those poor people is "There, but for the Grace of God, go I." Let another throw that first rock, if he dare.
Fondly, Lyle
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Brooke,
I see so much of what you have described in this piece. But I don't think that I could ever sit in judgement, because the only thought that I have when I see those poor people is "There, but for the Grace of God, go I." Let another throw that first rock, if he dare.
Fondly, Lyle
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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If only everyone were like you, Lyle - even on this site I've encountered people willing to sit in judgment - reviewers of several poems about the homeless over the months. Thankfully, they're in the minority on this site, but out in the world, I fear they're at least close to being in the majority. Thank you. Brooke :-)
Comment from S.Yocom
It's too bad that the contest didn't allowed for a rhymed poem. I think that this rondeau would have been the sure winner. You nailed the feeling of loneliness, and did it with another lovely rondeau.
Sally
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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It's too bad that the contest didn't allowed for a rhymed poem. I think that this rondeau would have been the sure winner. You nailed the feeling of loneliness, and did it with another lovely rondeau.
Sally
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Sally, thank you - and I appreciate such generous and encouraging comments :-) Brooke
Comment from rama devi
Very sad and also very well written. The repetition of the phrase as crowds pass by effectively deepens the sense of sorrow. Moving and poignant, laced with your gift of compassion and empathy.
Nice work, Brooke dea. Well presented too. Flawless rhyming and timing.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Very sad and also very well written. The repetition of the phrase as crowds pass by effectively deepens the sense of sorrow. Moving and poignant, laced with your gift of compassion and empathy.
Nice work, Brooke dea. Well presented too. Flawless rhyming and timing.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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rama devi, thank you - as always, I appreciate your visits and comments, especially in the middle of your travels :-) Brooke
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Seems that every household has a computer, and internet. :)
So I am jumping on line now and then.
Warm hugs, rd
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Seems that every household has a computer, and internet. :)
So I am jumping on line now and then.
Warm hugs, rd
Comment from leesm
Brooke, this would have been a tough contender in the contest. Beautifully written, your rondeau conveys a powerful message.
Very nicely done.
-Lee
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Brooke, this would have been a tough contender in the contest. Beautifully written, your rondeau conveys a powerful message.
Very nicely done.
-Lee
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Lee, thank you - I appreciate such encouraging comments! Brooke :-)
Comment from Just2Write
The is such a good poem, Brooke. You and I are on the same wave-length, for I had just completed a Rondeau for a poetry contest elsewhere, when I found yours. Very nicely done. It touches to the souls of the forsaken. Your poetry is always so profound. Rose.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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The is such a good poem, Brooke. You and I are on the same wave-length, for I had just completed a Rondeau for a poetry contest elsewhere, when I found yours. Very nicely done. It touches to the souls of the forsaken. Your poetry is always so profound. Rose.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Rose, thank you! Your generosity is so kind. I hope you post your rondeau here too! Brooke
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Thanks, Brooke - I will try. I don't have nearly enough cents to post. I'll just keep doing a few reviews for now and see what happens. Thanks for the encouragement. Rose.
Comment from joan marie
I lost my husband, all my friends, and almost everything I owned when they told me I was metally ill. Luckily mo mom would take me in ore I would be homeless. I did alot of food baste program. ten or twelve bags of food for about a hundred families at thakshivig and Cristmas. Grat rwite. hAVING hard time seeinlg joan marie
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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I lost my husband, all my friends, and almost everything I owned when they told me I was metally ill. Luckily mo mom would take me in ore I would be homeless. I did alot of food baste program. ten or twelve bags of food for about a hundred families at thakshivig and Cristmas. Grat rwite. hAVING hard time seeinlg joan marie
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Joan Marie, I have met many people who are homeless because they are mentally ill and have no mother who would take them in. One college-educated woman I took under my wing several years ago had actually been thrown out of her mother's home and then her grown son's home - I lost track of her when she moved away. The only thing that distinguishes many homeless from other people with similar problems is that they have no support system. Thank you for your most thoughtful review. Brooke
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Unfortunately, I have no emotional support system, but she hasn't changed the locks in a while. The relationhship we have is extremely unhealthy. But not for much longer. I anticapte moving next year. I stay home all but about 5 times. And four of those writer's group. but unless I get iout of a little more debt i can't do it. Even my phychistirst and treraptist wnt me out. Nap time. later, It is a good thinkg that you aren't the kind of person who turns the other way. I can't type anymore. later, jm
Comment from Mike K2
Well, there is one person who can be irritating as he always bums a cigarette from me. I put him on the one a day rule. I feel it is important to never put someone below you. Whether or not you decide to help them out, respect and a king word does wonders.
I feel it is a good entry for the contest as it is well written and makes many good points. To be honest, there are times I feel less lonely lost in crowds as most people at least look. This week it was a boss that for his enjoyment, make my life an impossible hell. I fact, I haven't been treated that bad since I paid my ex-wife to leave my house. The time that I felt the loneliest was when a person that I admired hit the panic attack and even refused to breathe, then at a dinner it wasn't that she ate with someone else, but enjoyed immensely of rubbing it in. With this coming after the games, that was the loneliest that I felt since Jean died. The next event, I will forgo the entertainment and go out and eat and catch shows. I keep the light glowing inside of me.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Well, there is one person who can be irritating as he always bums a cigarette from me. I put him on the one a day rule. I feel it is important to never put someone below you. Whether or not you decide to help them out, respect and a king word does wonders.
I feel it is a good entry for the contest as it is well written and makes many good points. To be honest, there are times I feel less lonely lost in crowds as most people at least look. This week it was a boss that for his enjoyment, make my life an impossible hell. I fact, I haven't been treated that bad since I paid my ex-wife to leave my house. The time that I felt the loneliest was when a person that I admired hit the panic attack and even refused to breathe, then at a dinner it wasn't that she ate with someone else, but enjoyed immensely of rubbing it in. With this coming after the games, that was the loneliest that I felt since Jean died. The next event, I will forgo the entertainment and go out and eat and catch shows. I keep the light glowing inside of me.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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I did not enter it in the contest as it is not free verse, but I appreciate your encouraging and thoughtful comments nonetheless, Mike :-) Thank you. Brooke
Comment from Rabianabian
A very good poem. Whenever you write poems about this sort of thing, it makes me think, but somehow I can't type my thoughts on the screen. Very, very excellent.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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A very good poem. Whenever you write poems about this sort of thing, it makes me think, but somehow I can't type my thoughts on the screen. Very, very excellent.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Thank you, Mary - any time I make a reader think, I know the effort I put into writing is all worthwhile! Brooke :-)
Comment from RapturedHeart
Ah, how very sad, Brooke, and true. I think people like this are everywhere--in every culture, income bracket and social status. Sure takes more than income or status to give one a sense of belonging and self esteem. Thanks so much for reflecting on this. Take care,
Heather
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Ah, how very sad, Brooke, and true. I think people like this are everywhere--in every culture, income bracket and social status. Sure takes more than income or status to give one a sense of belonging and self esteem. Thanks so much for reflecting on this. Take care,
Heather
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Heather, you are right - there are those who feel this sense of isolation even when they seem outwardly prosperous to others :-) Thank you, Brooke
Comment from laurelp
Only one thing amazes me more than your poetry and that is when I read your authors notes. I too have seen people like you refer to. Lost within a crowd. Your piece is so descriptive, so sad, but still in its own quiet way quite beautiful.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Only one thing amazes me more than your poetry and that is when I read your authors notes. I too have seen people like you refer to. Lost within a crowd. Your piece is so descriptive, so sad, but still in its own quiet way quite beautiful.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Laurel, thank you. I appreciate your reflections upon my poem. Brooke :-)
