Comment from RapturedHeart

Excellent

How lovely this is, Brooke. I imagine this twinkling, as I think of you imagining little fairies flitting all around it:). Especially love the final line: symmetry upon a pond - poignant little internal rhyme just sets it off so subtly. Take care,
heather

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2009

Thanks so much, Heather - I'm so glad you liked this tanka :-) Brooke

Comment from GABSTBOZ

Excellent

FILL MY SOUL WITH LAUGHTER

ALONE WE ALL ARE
This One truth I do know
Those married are even sometimes far

My love, Lily, star in the sky
Our sadness for we are far apart
In island water's reflection, I wipe her weeping eye

Stripped naked for the words do capture
A double tongue speaks in Love's riddle
I chase to find an answer Im after

My heart pierced, filled with cold winter
My loves twinkle reflects in these waters
Solid ice heart from cold winter, my anchor

Might I sink in this island's water,
and fill my soul with warm laughter
Our true love reflections drown forever
I wish upon my star, our love to be together

Hi Brooke
Sorry for this long note, your "Author Notes" inspired. Your tanka, "Fallen Star" is beautiful. Would you please tell me where I can find the "Brazilian Indian Legend" story for further reading?

Smiles
Gabor

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2009

Gabor, Just google legend of the water lily - that is how I found it at more than one website. I love to google. Thank you for your beautiful poetic response to my poem - I love it!! Brooke

reply by GABSTBOZ on 13-Jul-2009

Hi Brooke
You are most welcome. Thank you for the "google" idea.
Have a great day.

Smiles

Comment from Nanny 6

Excellent

This is a sweet legend and very interesting. It's so visual and makes for a great story to be carried down to the next generation...Your Tanka tells the story well, Brooke! Judy

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2009

Thank you, so much, Judy, for your lovely comments :-) Brooke

Comment from aviddbrut

Excellent

very nice tanka, brooke. I appreciate the author's notes on this one. love the line "serenity embodied..." great word choices for the syllable count.
david

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2009

David, it is so good to see you. Thank you for your lovely thoughts. I hope to read something new from you soon. Brooke :-)

Comment from Crusty

Excellent

Wonderful Brooke. A beautiful story to complement a beautifully presented and written piece. Thanks for sharing this Brooke and I simply loved this line.
fallen star in flowered form,

Superbly done mate.

Have a wonderful day.

Brad...

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2009

Brad, thank you. I hope you also have a lovely day. Brooke :-)

Comment from Peter@Poole

Excellent

What a darling poem, Brooke. It is a perfect tanka, of course, and the imagery is projected strongly by such well chosen words and phrases. You also shine because of your tremendous versatility. Peter

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2009

Good morning, Peter - thanks so much for your gracious and warm comments. I hope to see a posting from you soon! Brooke :-)

Comment from dportwood

Excellent

Brooke,

Thanks for the tanka and the informative notes on the legend of the water lily. I'm glad I didn't look to the moon for my wife. (Maybe it wouldn't have mattered; she's a really good swimmer.) Forgive me.

Duane

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2009

Duane, I have always said that one thing to look for in a really good wife is swimming talent!! :-) Thanks so much. Brooke :-)

Comment from BellaSpirit

Excellent

Brooke, this is just beautiful! It is so expressive and your presentation is magnificent. I loved the message within the poem and your author notes added to that so well. Just delightful!

BellaSpirit

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2009

Bella, thank you. I'm so glad you enjoyed this :-) Brooke

Comment from Aussie

Excellent

I loved the Indian legend; your poem has much feeling and a wonderful message behind it. Water lilies are so beautiful, especially when the wet seasons awaken their growth and the Wader birds walk across the water lilies face without leaving a mark. Nature in all her glory. Thank you for sharing yet another of god's beautiful flowers.

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2009

wader birds walking across the lily pads - that is a great image and not one I think I've ever seen - thank you for such a lovely image to start off the day :-) And thank you for a gracious review, also, Kay :-) Brooke

Comment from jadedgemini2

Excellent

My absolute favorite flower is he lily, (ironically I was born in June-one month too soon!). I've heard a tale similar to this, but I'm not sure if it's the same one. Either way it goes, it is a beautiful tale. I love the way the world was explained before science came along. It was so inventive and, even today, made/makes complete sense when you think about it in that sense. Maybe that's just me, but I think they had viable reason to express it (whatever it was) the way they did, and the way each civilization described it differently, yet it all meant the same was absolutely mind blowing. I could get into a whole rant (yes, longer than this) about those times and explanations, but I'll stop here:) *LOL*
I love the way you spread out this piece. The words flowed nicely into the pond in which the lily resides.
Great job!
Jaded:)

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2009

I agree with you about creation stories - I love them, and so many cultures have produced absolutely lovely ones. Thanks so much for your wonderful review, and happy belated birthday! :-) Brooke

reply by jadedgemini2 on 13-Jul-2009

Thank you:)