Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Lol. I think this is just for fun. I actually thought, is there any day that doesn't end in Y? But I got it. Telly did need to work on his diet daily but apparently didn't so alas, his heart couldn't take it.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018

---

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018

People tried to tell him.

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

Why, oh why, must every day end in "y"
If I ate a deep-fried butterstick
I'd be prone to dying, too.
I guess he just fizzled out
or maybe he was electrocuted.
Schott with good humor and rhyme.
Well done
RS

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018

---

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018

Thanks, RS

Comment from jdrhye

Excellent

Cute read... I suppose many meanings could be derived from this clever little write. Individual realities and life styles may vary in opinions. The flow and rhythm are good.
J

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018

---

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018

THANKS, J

Comment from Angela Post

Excellent

I enjoyed your poem. It was humourous. It sounds like he quite enjoyed his food, perhaps a little too much. I like the lighthearted nature of the poem and an unusual ending.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018

---

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018

Thanks, Angela

Comment from meeshu

Excellent

WONDERFUL POEM, bill. fun and funny. with a limerickish pace.
whoa, spellcheck hated that. oh well, I really enjoyed your poem.
at first I thought it would be about a goodfellow.......meeshu

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018

---

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018

Thanks, Meeshu

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

Foolish fish. He should have known better, follow your diet down to the letter. Never ever deviate, never ever regret what you ate. Make your stomach your prized possession, never let food be your only obsession. I hope that he learned this valuable lesson.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018

---

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018

The lesson was likely learned by the witnesses.

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I enjoyed your appealing version of mono-verse rhyme and the message. It's a message we should heed about dietary and exercise changes. Smiles- Joan

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018

---

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018

Thanks, Joan

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

Actually, this sounds like people I've seen in those electric carts at Kroger. You get more mileage out of jellyfish than the journalists do out of Trump. Excellent synonyms for fat in your first stanza. I would not recommend the deep fried butterstick. I believe they have them at our Indiana State Fair. That could certainly stop a jellyfish heart. Great work with your rhyme. judi

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018

---

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018

Thanks, Judi

reply by judiverse on 31-Mar-2018

You're welcome. judi

Comment from Katya

Excellent

Light and humorous, but maybe an unkind characterization at bottom? Anyway, somebody we certainly don't want to emulate! Great name for the character! You use rhyme and meter well.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018

---

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018

Thanks, Katya

Comment from jusylee72

Excellent

Well, I did just that, went back to the beginning and read it again. It still didn't make a huge difference, except I understood the line about days ending in Y the second time. ( The first time I said. "What is the country or city or an imaginary place called Y) Still, though I don't truly understand it other than dying from too much butter. It was definitely interesting to read.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018

---

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018

Rotund with bulbous belly = Santa times two fat with a stomach looking like a huge bulb
Amorphous fellow = fat to point of shapelessness
in a cart = has to get the electric cart to move his mass around