A Compilation of Short stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "A Surprise"Expressions
41 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, A Surprise, had me going. You added a few ideas that had me worried that something bad was going to happen to poor Harry. Stuck with a puppy now.
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This story, A Surprise, had me going. You added a few ideas that had me worried that something bad was going to happen to poor Harry. Stuck with a puppy now.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
Comment from Spitfire
You had me on edge. Harry's complacency annoys the reader too. Good for Mary that she didn't investigate the noise herself. The reader sees that he is capable of emotion. But I have a feeling that puppy will get the attention his wife craves. LOL
A delightful read.
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You had me on edge. Harry's complacency annoys the reader too. Good for Mary that she didn't investigate the noise herself. The reader sees that he is capable of emotion. But I have a feeling that puppy will get the attention his wife craves. LOL
A delightful read.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Ulla.
Sorry I haven't been around much.
"All he ever did was to walk (a)round the garden after breakfast,"
"he'd never cease to send loving glances towards his abandoned newspapers." (lol.)
"To his relief(,) the room was in complete darkness,"
"He peered out(-out) into the dark, but couldn't make out a thing."
"long-(Backspace) suffering had come to a happy end."
Lol. Well, all's well that ends well as they say.
Lots of tension makes this a very good contest entry and I wish you the best of luck in it.
Great yarn and a nice, gentle twist at the end.
Cheers Fez
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G'day Ulla.
Sorry I haven't been around much.
"All he ever did was to walk (a)round the garden after breakfast,"
"he'd never cease to send loving glances towards his abandoned newspapers." (lol.)
"To his relief(,) the room was in complete darkness,"
"He peered out(-out) into the dark, but couldn't make out a thing."
"long-(Backspace) suffering had come to a happy end."
Lol. Well, all's well that ends well as they say.
Lots of tension makes this a very good contest entry and I wish you the best of luck in it.
Great yarn and a nice, gentle twist at the end.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
Comment from kathleenspalding
Well written story with a cute end. I see no SPAG (Congratulations! something I can rarely do or say, LOL) Good job creating/portraying tension. My only suggestion is that I'd like to know what made them so scared about someone rapping on their door in the first place.
That's it. Great job!
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Well written story with a cute end. I see no SPAG (Congratulations! something I can rarely do or say, LOL) Good job creating/portraying tension. My only suggestion is that I'd like to know what made them so scared about someone rapping on their door in the first place.
That's it. Great job!
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
Comment from JennaG
Awww, I really enjoyed this story! I have to say I was very relieved by the ending. You built the suspense and mystery so well that I actually felt nervous and scared for poor Harry as he went to investigate the noise. What a fun and pleasant surprise ending! The puppy brought joy for both of them. This is so well written and easily held my attention from beginning to end. Great job! Best of luck to you in the contest! :)
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Awww, I really enjoyed this story! I have to say I was very relieved by the ending. You built the suspense and mystery so well that I actually felt nervous and scared for poor Harry as he went to investigate the noise. What a fun and pleasant surprise ending! The puppy brought joy for both of them. This is so well written and easily held my attention from beginning to end. Great job! Best of luck to you in the contest! :)
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
Comment from jenintorre
I enjoyed reading your short story. It held me until the end, I hadn't suspected the ending, I thought it would be a bit more sinister. Good luck in the competition.
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I enjoyed reading your short story. It held me until the end, I hadn't suspected the ending, I thought it would be a bit more sinister. Good luck in the competition.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
Comment from apky
How beautiful. And there I was, holding my breath with Harry, dreading what monster was out there, desperate to get him and Mary!
"My, God, Harry, what was that?" ~ I'd get rid of the first comma after the My
Harry didn't look as if (he) had the slightest desire to see who it could be, though.
And with that, Mary went straight to the phone and dialled 112. ~ Amazing, that's the German emergency number, like the British 999 or the US 911!
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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How beautiful. And there I was, holding my breath with Harry, dreading what monster was out there, desperate to get him and Mary!
"My, God, Harry, what was that?" ~ I'd get rid of the first comma after the My
Harry didn't look as if (he) had the slightest desire to see who it could be, though.
And with that, Mary went straight to the phone and dialled 112. ~ Amazing, that's the German emergency number, like the British 999 or the US 911!
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Hi Aki, thanks so much, and I'm glad you liked my wee story. 112 is also the emergemcy number in Britain, in fact it's the emergency number in the whole of EU. But I gather they will now stick with 999 only upon leaving the EU. I have made the corrections. Thanks for spotting them. Warm regards.Ulla:)))
Comment from Mabaker
cute animal story. The best kind I think. I'm glad they found him before the Police arrived. I'm a cat person, and I've had cats go next door and sleep on their bed the sun made a warm pool for them to lie in, even if there was a perfectly good bed next door. Sincerely Anne
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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cute animal story. The best kind I think. I'm glad they found him before the Police arrived. I'm a cat person, and I've had cats go next door and sleep on their bed the sun made a warm pool for them to lie in, even if there was a perfectly good bed next door. Sincerely Anne
Comment Written 10-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much. I'm so glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from barbara.wilkey
ahh, I am so happy the little puppy found a new home and Harry found a better life than in his papers. I enjoyed reading your contest entry and wish you the best of luck.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
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ahh, I am so happy the little puppy found a new home and Harry found a better life than in his papers. I enjoyed reading your contest entry and wish you the best of luck.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much, Barbara. I'm so glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from alexisleech
What a lovely story, and one I'm sure many will be able to relate to!
Good luck in the competition - I'm sure you will do well.
Alexis xxx
Harry didn't look as if [he] had[,nt] the slightest desire to see who it could be, though.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
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What a lovely story, and one I'm sure many will be able to relate to!
Good luck in the competition - I'm sure you will do well.
Alexis xxx
Harry didn't look as if [he] had[,nt] the slightest desire to see who it could be, though.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
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Thanks a lot, Alexis, for this wonderful recognition. I'm doing the corrections. Hugs from Spain. Ulla xxx
