Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Delahay,

This was an interesting journey back in time and off into the west on an adventure on the back of an itinerant soldier. Too bad Lady Luck refused to shine on him.

I didn't see any nits and enjoyed the read. Thanks!

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016

Thank you very much for your review. There are a lot of luckless soldiers after any war.

Comment from Kooky Clown

Excellent

I have given you a five star rating because I enjoyed it there is one line that was not right 'That is the bad about luck though,' this seems to be missing a word possibly 'thing'.

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016

You are right, it was missing the word "thing". Thank you for reading and for finding my mistake. I appreciate the feedback.

Comment from giraffmang

Good

Hi there,

Nice little vignette here of an old soldier trying to make his way in a harsh and unforgiving world.

It had been twenty-some odd - I don't think you need both 'some' and 'odd' here, one would probably do.

every move of my horse made drove another nail - either every move my horse made drove, or every move of my horse drove...

the U.S. Had the right - had.

King George's red Coats - Red.

I had managed to scrounged out of the ground - either what I had scrounged, or what I had managed to scrounge.

along with the doctors advice - doctor's.

I saw a flash of lightening - lightning.

flash flood crashing down the through the break in the rocks - delete the first 'the' here.

At least I still had my tin - need end punctuation here.

All the best
GMG

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 Comment Written 24-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016

Thank you for reading my story and for pointing out my typos. I think a few words were misplaced on one of the re-writes that I should have caught when I read over it. I didn't even notice that I had lost the word 'cup' and the period from the end when I copied the story and pasted it here. I will have to try to be more careful next time. Always good to hear from you though.

Thanks again
Delahay

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi there, it's and interesting story and well written. Yes, I think he was better off heading the other way.
To be honest, I no longer felt the U.S. Had the right = had the right
I tried to work as a cowhand for a while(,)but my leg...
the hallowed black hills(,)but that didn't stop...
With bands of Indians raiding wagon trains(,)I figured there was safety
When I woke up the next morning(,)all I had left
I liked this little tale. All the best. Ulla:)

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016

Thank you for reading and for your feedback.

Comment from djsaxon

Excellent

A really strong write. Straightforward, to the point, no nonsense cut to the chase stuff. Good use of language. Always interesting. We don't know the guy's name, but it doesn't matter. I truly believe that it is worth developing into a very much longer piece. You leave us wanting to know what happens to this man. Cheers - DJ

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016

Thank you for reading. I appreciate your kind words and feedback.

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

An interesting story, my friend. Sounds like the girl turned out to be the luckiest thing he found. You need a period at the end of the last sentence. Good write, my friend~Debbie

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 Comment Written 24-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016

Thank you for reading and for your review. The last sentence was suppose to say "At least I still had my tin cup." but I lost the last word and the period when I cut and pasted it. I found them and put them back.